Hey, a couple of you have been keeping track of this situation with this chick I met. I made the move today, she flaked. I told her I would like her to go have dinner with me and maybe dancing afterwards, if she behaved. Then followed it up with when would be a good time to do that. Her reply was, yeah we can do that sometime, sounding really unsure of herself. I told her I was busy tonight and tomorrow. She said she can't because of work anyway. Then said she's going to the cities this weekend and has to work next week. She wouldn't give me a day. So I sat down with her in class, and she's got her back turned to me legs crossed away, (not good signs) and basically acting really uncomfortable. So I said to her Obviously you're uncomfortable, maybe I hurt you're feelings or something, frankly I don't care. But we're stuck in this class together and I don't like this girl games BS. I don't have time for this ****. I've got plenty of other friends, and don't need this immature crap. She responds telling me that things were fine at first and she did like me, but that I seemed to go to far with it. HELLO... I tell her that she was the one who was taking it so damb fast. I didn't call her for 5 days after getting her number. I've only called her 3 times in the past 3 weeks, each time only because she asked me to get together with her. 2 of the times I didn't even talk to her, just left a message that I called with her brother. She was the one who insisted after our first time studying that she wanted me to get together with her again next monday, and then went on to say we should get together every day. She asked for a copy of my class schedual, she asked me to be her lab partner. I didn't even talk to her or sit with her in class everyday! Yet she thinks she can blame me for being to clingy! WTF***. Anyway, I tried to point that out to her and she was like, we can be friends, then that this was stupid and that she didn't want to talk about it anymore, and said whatever. Then she popped her head into her class book and tried to act busy. I said I don't care, it's not worth it. Then we sat there for a few minutes and were asked to break into discusion groups, she thought I was going to be part of her group, but some other girls asked me to work with them so I got up and sat with them. I showed no signs of being upset, I was smiling and laughing and very involved with the class discusion. She saw this and almost looked like she was getting teary eyed, she keeped covering her face with her shirt. Anyway, I didn't let it bother me. I just had a HB9 that I went to highschool with and haven't seen in about 6 yrs give me her number the night before without me even asking for it. Plus, I've got others to work with as well. Anyway this chick is only 18 I'm 24, I dont' think she's very mature. Well, this is my little update. Do you guys think I handled this right, or should I just have ignored confronting her **** altogether? I didn't want to let her think she can treat me like that and get away with it. Let me know you're opinions and suggestions on it, so I can improve if there is a need.
"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Made the move...she got intimidated
- Thread starter blitzin'
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
upsidedownside7
Don Juan
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Women are so weird. She got teary eyed? As soon as women lose what they have they get devastated. I don't see any flaws in what you did actually. Maybe I would have suggested something else instead of dinner and dancing, something more casual like coffee. That's usually a more intimate kind of date and that may have put her off.
I would still talk to her at school if you have to but don't call her anymore and in no time this chick will be desperate to get your attention.......book it!
I would still talk to her at school if you have to but don't call her anymore and in no time this chick will be desperate to get your attention.......book it!
Don Juanabbe
Master Don Juan
If she's only 18 then I'm not surprised if she was intimidated.
Hollowpoint
Master Don Juan
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I think she'd like you a lot more if you used paragraphs.
Chick base their decisions on emotions. If you try using logic to discuss an emotional topic like attraction with them, it doesn't really work. Even though she's obviously wrong about you being clingy, don't use logic to prove her wrong. See, she's pulling back for whatever stupid emotional reason, and if you follow, she'll only pull further back. The only thing to do in that situation is to pull further back yourself. You did the right thing by sitting down with other girls. But you should have done that immediately after she flaked on you.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
TooColdUlrick
Master Don Juan
1) if you talked to her this way, huge turnoff bro. "i don't have time for this sh!t....plenty of other friends...girl games BS..." etc... nail in the coffin.
2) don't explain things to chicks, how THEY feel, when they turn you down. it makes you look like a weak puppy, and that you're trying to convince her that she IS attracted to you when she isn't.
this chick has zero romantic interest in you. obviously she wanted you to be her study buddy but you misinterpreted it as "she likes me!". you didn't do the necessary ground work before initiating a date.
you have an interested HB9 in the wings? work on her and others and forget about this other one entirely.
PS: i seriously doubt that she was intimidated.
squirrels
Master Don Juan
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This was the girl who invited you to study with her, where you were laughing and touching each other and cracking sexual jokes, but you refused to actually get freaky with her, so she started acting more aloof. Am I right?
She's not saying you were jumping into the relationship too fast...she's saying that she didnt' WANT a relationship AT ALL. She wanted to jump your bones. She wanted an f-buddy/friend with benefits. You responded by trying to wine and dine her and get all lovey-dovey. She probably got all teary-eyed when you went off with those other girls because she felt guilty for being such a slut with you...after all you practically cussed her out when she refused your romantic advances.
It was over the night you were with her all night, the night she invested time in you and you either didn't have the foresight or the desire to get sexual. She ruled you out as a sexually inferior man. You commonly DON'T get a second chance after that. It happens under the right circumstances, but that's rare.
So the bottom line is if you're looking for a girl you can romance and have as a girlfriend, then this girl was not the girl from you for the beginning. If you were just looking for some p00n, then you HAD it and you botched it.
She's not saying you were jumping into the relationship too fast...she's saying that she didnt' WANT a relationship AT ALL. She wanted to jump your bones. She wanted an f-buddy/friend with benefits. You responded by trying to wine and dine her and get all lovey-dovey. She probably got all teary-eyed when you went off with those other girls because she felt guilty for being such a slut with you...after all you practically cussed her out when she refused your romantic advances.
It was over the night you were with her all night, the night she invested time in you and you either didn't have the foresight or the desire to get sexual. She ruled you out as a sexually inferior man. You commonly DON'T get a second chance after that. It happens under the right circumstances, but that's rare.
So the bottom line is if you're looking for a girl you can romance and have as a girlfriend, then this girl was not the girl from you for the beginning. If you were just looking for some p00n, then you HAD it and you botched it.
hey squirrels, I would have hit that when studying, but how was I supposed to with her whole family sitting around. Her dad was seriously creepy, and threatening his other two kids out right in front of me. She didn't feel like going anyhere else. If she thought I was gonna' get nasty with her in her parents house while they were around, she's got some messed up ideas. Oh, well. I don't care anymore. I'm hooking up with someone a little nicer looking and closer to my age. When I think about it, would I really have wanted to f*** her. I mean yes, but we will be in the same program in college the next 3 years, plus her mother works with mine, not that I care if my mom knows I'm screwing around, she already knows I'm not a virgin (I've slept with my GF's in my parents house when I went to visit). But it could create some strangeness. And I don't need to create problems there. Last thing I would need is her mom *****ing at mine about her son screwing her 18 yr old daughter. Plus, I think if her dad found out he'd kill me. I think he was in Namm and has a few screws loose. She knows where I'm at. If she's interested she can get in touch. Anyway, thanks for the insight.
I just thought of something to add. Here's a little info about this chick that I've noticed over the past couple weeks. I just kinda' thought about it and it all fell into place.
1. She is amost always sitting alone in class. Except occasionally she sits with this other chick, but lately the other one hasn't seemed to want to sit with her. Which is a little odd, since it's nearly the 4th week, and everyone else has at least one person they sit by.
2. She's really figity, she's constantly repositioning herself or messing with her hair. It's like she has attention Deficit disorder.
3. I thought this a little strange. Most of the girls in the class with us graduated from the highschool with this chick, yet none of them talk to her, or even say hello.
4. She's always drawing something on her notebook, usually flowers, or sunshine, cutesy fluffy $hit. Today however I noticed her drawing a bunch of broken hearts all over the place.
5. She's been talking of quiting the program we're in, and moving to another city. I don't think she has a lot of friends.
Anyway, I think that maybe she's really insecure, and doesn't fit in very well. And that maybe she just isn't use to dealing with guys, especially older ones. Or maybe she was the school slut, and the other girls don't like her. Who knows. Don't care. Anyway, this should be a good conclusion to this story. Any final thoughts on it are welcome, otherwise it's time to move on to better things.
1. She is amost always sitting alone in class. Except occasionally she sits with this other chick, but lately the other one hasn't seemed to want to sit with her. Which is a little odd, since it's nearly the 4th week, and everyone else has at least one person they sit by.
2. She's really figity, she's constantly repositioning herself or messing with her hair. It's like she has attention Deficit disorder.
3. I thought this a little strange. Most of the girls in the class with us graduated from the highschool with this chick, yet none of them talk to her, or even say hello.
4. She's always drawing something on her notebook, usually flowers, or sunshine, cutesy fluffy $hit. Today however I noticed her drawing a bunch of broken hearts all over the place.
5. She's been talking of quiting the program we're in, and moving to another city. I don't think she has a lot of friends.
Anyway, I think that maybe she's really insecure, and doesn't fit in very well. And that maybe she just isn't use to dealing with guys, especially older ones. Or maybe she was the school slut, and the other girls don't like her. Who knows. Don't care. Anyway, this should be a good conclusion to this story. Any final thoughts on it are welcome, otherwise it's time to move on to better things.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
O.k, one last update. Promiss. This chick is now acting all "I miss you" she's been coming up to me all day, saying hey whenever she sees me. And she got way jealous when I sat with this other chick hb8, and got her phone#. As I left class, she came over and wanted to wish me a good weekend...Chicks are weird. I'll be friendly, but have much better opportunities with other women.
Don Juanabbe
Master Don Juan
Heh heh. Good man, I like to hear this sh*t.Originally posted by blitzin'
O.k, one last update. Promiss. This chick is now acting all "I miss you" she's been coming up to me all day, saying hey whenever she sees me. And she got way jealous when I sat with this other chick hb8, and got her phone#. As I left class, she came over and wanted to wish me a good weekend...Chicks are weird. I'll be friendly, but have much better opportunities with other women.