made one mistake today, she flaked said she'd let me know in a couple hours

[pikachu69]

I had a great date last week with a HB, she messaged me the next day telling me what a wonderful time she had so I responded with something sexual as it was new years eve and might get some. She didn't reply but later responded with a happy new year message instead.

Fast forward to yesterday, I asked her what her plans this evening was, she told me she was having dinner with friends, I messaged we should get together again in the next few days. She said yes. So I suggest I bring a bottle over and continue our convo..she said bring where? Then followed on 'oh I know what you mean and you're wasting your time, I'm not a sexual person I don't like sex'

I was thinking wtf it's the opposite of what u said the other night, so I backtracked a bit and said I misunderstood and suggested we get together during the day (I was too forward for the sex straight away) she said to me 'you are so cute ))') and seemed set on meeting today agreed time and place.

Fast forward to today I noticed she stayed up to 5am last night and she flakes on me saying she shouldn't have gone out last night feels restless tired etc etc. And she has a fever again, this was like 2 hrs before we were supposed to meet, she had just woken up hungover and she said she'd let me know how she's feeling later. I made the grave error of being too available in my response:

'Ok let me know, I'll make other plans for 4 hope you feel better soon. X'

I immediately regretted sending it, I literally spent 20 mins writing the msg out tryna think what I should write originally I was about to send 'ok I'll make other plans for 4, hope u feel better soon' which in hindsight I should have sent, made me seem less available.

Can I recover from this?

After yesterdays error of being too forward about coming over for sex I have made 2 mistakes in a row, unsurprisingly she hasn't messaged me to let me know how she's feeling (even to say she can't meet up), I failed her test of being too available.

Can I just wait a few days and ask her out again? Ie hopefully reset what's been done.

She's on strike 1 now esp with no counter offer, one more flake and I'll have to stop.

Is 3 days enough? I had good mometum before this now she thinks I just want sex AND I'm too available to her double whammy, her IL was high-ish before so bopefully this is just a minor incident. I need to set the frame up from the beginning, all I needed to do today was send 'ok' or what I suggested before

 

[MattR1984]

Don't even text her back man. You made a few mistakes and rule of thumb if they don't counter offer they're probably not that interested. Do NOT text her, let her text you and offer to meet up and then the ball is back in your court after giving it to her. Don't wait around for her to message you man, start lining up other things to do with other women and if she does come around you do what you want with the situation but let her initiate it.

I never really do a lot of the sex talk on the phone or text, especially till I've already banged them then I might engage in it. Doing it more in person is a lot better gauge in where you are with the girl and as far as her not being sexual or whatever that's probably bs. Always press the sexual encounter when you're alone at your place or her place if it feels good to let them know clear that you're not interested in being a hangout friend and that you're interested in being an intimate partner.

 

[LiveYourDream]

I had a great date last week with a HB, she messaged me the next day telling me what a wonderful time she had so I responded with something sexual as it was new years eve and might get some. She didn't reply but later responded with a happy new year message instead.

Fast forward to yesterday, I asked her what her plans this evening was, she told me she was having dinner with friends, I messaged we should get together again in the next few days. She said yes. So I suggest I bring a bottle over and continue our convo..she said bring where? Then followed on 'oh I know what you mean and you're wasting your time, I'm not a sexual person I don't like sex'

I was thinking wtf it's the opposite of what u said the other night, so I backtracked a bit and said I misunderstood and suggested we get together during the day (I was too forward for the sex straight away) she said to me 'you are so cute ))') and seemed set on meeting today agreed time and place.

Fast forward to today I noticed she stayed up to 5am last night and she flakes on me saying she shouldn't have gone out last night feels restless tired etc etc. And she has a fever again, this was like 2 hrs before we were supposed to meet, she had just woken up hungover and she said she'd let me know how she's feeling later. I made the grave error of being too available in my response:

'Ok let me know, I'll make other plans for 4 hope you feel better soon. X'

I immediately regretted sending it, I literally spent 20 mins writing the msg out tryna think what I should write originally I was about to send 'ok I'll make other plans for 4, hope u feel better soon' which in hindsight I should have sent, made me seem less available.

Can I recover from this?

After yesterdays error of being too forward about coming over for sex I have made 2 mistakes in a row, unsurprisingly she hasn't messaged me to let me know how she's feeling (even to say she can't meet up), I failed her test of being too available.

Can I just wait a few days and ask her out again? Ie hopefully reset what's been done.

She's on strike 1 now esp with no counter offer, one more flake and I'll have to stop.

Is 3 days enough? I had good mometum before this now she thinks I just want sex AND I'm too available to her double whammy, her IL was high-ish before so bopefully this is just a minor incident. I need to set the frame up from the beginning, all I needed to do today was send 'ok' or what I suggested before

Why keep chasing a girl that would even say this? Only spend your valuable time with women that love sex and don't pretend otherwise. They can be discreet but never truly deny they love it too. Results of time invested come with much better return.

 

[pyros]

I had a great date last week with a HB, she messaged me the next day telling me what a wonderful time she had so I responded with something sexual as it was new years eve and might get some. She didn't reply but later responded with a happy new year message instead.

Fast forward to yesterday, I asked her what her plans this evening was, she told me she was having dinner with friends, I messaged we should get together again in the next few days. She said yes. So I suggest I bring a bottle over and continue our convo..she said bring where? Then followed on 'oh I know what you mean and you're wasting your time, I'm not a sexual person I don't like sex'only a woman who is manipulative/crazy would say that. Anyway, it means she doesnt want to have sex with you. Besides she flaked on you. Do you understand? she IS NOT INTO YOU. Go find another woman who is.

I was thinking wtf it's the opposite of what u said the other night, so I backtracked a bit and said I misunderstood and suggested we get together during the day (I was too forward for the sex straight away) she said to me 'you are so cute ))') and seemed set on meeting today agreed time and place.

Fast forward to today I noticed she stayed up to 5am last night and she flakes on me saying she shouldn't have gone out last night feels restless tired etc etc. And she has a fever again, this was like 2 hrs before we were supposed to meet, she had just woken up hungover and she said she'd let me know how she's feeling later. I made the grave error of being too available in my response:

'Ok let me know, I'll make other plans for 4 hope you feel better soon. X'

I immediately regretted sending it, I literally spent 20 mins writing the msg out tryna think what I should write originally I was about to send 'ok I'll make other plans for 4, hope u feel better soon' which in hindsight I should have sent, made me seem less available.

Can I recover from this?

After yesterdays error of being too forward about coming over for sex I have made 2 mistakes in a row, unsurprisingly she hasn't messaged me to let me know how she's feeling (even to say she can't meet up), I failed her test of being too available.

Can I just wait a few days and ask her out again? Ie hopefully reset what's been done.

She's on strike 1 now esp with no counter offer, one more flake and I'll have to stop.

Is 3 days enough? I had good mometum before this now she thinks I just want sex AND I'm too available to her double whammy, her IL was high-ish before so bopefully this is just a minor incident. I need to set the frame up from the beginning, all I needed to do today was send 'ok' or what I suggested before

Time to find another woman.

Never repeat your mistakes again. If you suggest sex too soon, there maybe 1 out of 10 woman, or less, that is gonna find it a good idea. The rest are gonna be turned off and think you're a creep, so do not do this ever again.

As a final note, you should get rid of your desperate mentality.

 

[RangerMIke]

Fast forward to yesterday, I asked her what her plans this evening was, she told me she was having dinner with friends, I messaged we should get together again in the next few days. She said yes. So I suggest I bring a bottle over and continue our convo..she said bring where? Then followed on 'oh I know what you mean and you're wasting your time, I'm not a sexual person I don't like sex'

LOL!!!

Okay she is either playing games or she has no interest in you. too late now, but in the future this is how you respond to that. When she sys she doesn't like sex call her a liar and challenge her to prove it. If she doesn't respond to that, then you know she has low interst and you should move on.

If she responds then make up a test. Use your imagination, but make it funny. If she responds go into some banter and have some fun with it. Sexual banter is always good. The game continues.

 

[Thorninmyside]

'oh I know what you mean and you're wasting your time, I'm not a sexual person I don't like sex'

Either

a) You don't make her wet in the pants or

b) She's got issues because Uncle Touchy felt her up as a kid

c) really is just a cold fish

All of them = why bother?

 

[pikachu69]

LOL!!!

Okay she is either playing games or she has no interest in you. too late now, but in the future this is how you respond to that. When she sys she doesn't like sex call her a liar and challenge her to prove it. If she doesn't respond to that, then you know she has low interst and you should move on.

If she responds then make up a test. Use your imagination, but make it funny. If she responds go into some banter and have some fun with it. Sexual banter is always good. The game continues.

Yeah I think she's playing games, it's strange how quickly it turns from supposedly high IL into game playing, I'm to blame for being too available but the damage was done yesterday. It seemed like high interesrt initially she thanked me for a wonderful night remember and when I said to meet up again she said yes so she wanted to but then I suggested I bring a bottle round and she tells me I'm wasting my time (game to deter me from going for sex and to keep chasing) so now I doubt whether her thank u for a wonderful time message was genuine or not or just keeping me sweet. The fact she was so agreeable to meeting again made me think ok maybe she has high IL then a sudden change when I suggest sex, I guess my mistake eas backtrqacking and offering to meet for a day date to show I'm not just after sex.

Now the dynamic isn't right, she messaged me attention seeking last night 'how was your day?' Basically she didn't tell me how she was feeling as she wqas supposed to hours before. I ignored her message and presume she wanted to meet and said 'I can't meet now HB I'm out, we'll schedule our next date next week when you're better enjoy the rest of your weekend'

She sends back: you are so funny haha )) I wasn't planning to meet you today or tomorrow! Have a pleasant weekend!

This made me think she's taking the p1ss if she wasn't planning to meet me today or tomorrow then why did she agree on friday to meet on Sat at 4, it's liker she cfmpletely went back on what she said and I suspect was planing to gflflake anyway. I asked her 'why weren't you planning to meet me today or tomorrow?'

She said 'because I'm ill taking meds won't be able to meet for 2 weeks probably.

At this point I realized she's just not behaving like an interested girl, put all the things together, telling me she doesn't like sex (she did tell me on the date she hasn't enjoyed sex for the past year, I don't know why I was gona ask next time and also she's never orgasmed before), flaking on me without a counter offer (ok she's sick fair enough but if she's super interested she should offer to meet next week or something) then telling me in 2 weeks and that she wasn't planning to meet me today or tomorrow, I should have said 'why weren't u intending to meet me today or tomorrow? We had a date planned for 4 originally today' I just don't like this tone, I'm not gona pursue it anymore.

The thing is, if I don't try to meet her again and give her 1 more strike (2 strike rule) won't she think I was only after sex and didn't want to commit to dating her properly? I don't know what goes throught their head, I know she may be trying to put me into an orbiter friendzone now I made myself too available but surely I can recontrol the frame if I just suddenly drop contact?

I sense she*s just gona flake again or try to keep me chasing which I won't. I'll ask her out one more time anything other than a yes and that's it. This is her game to keep guys chasing.

 

[Trump]

Fast forward to yesterday, I asked her what her plans this evening was, she told me she was having dinner with friends, I messaged we should get together again in the next few days. She said yes. So I suggest I bring a bottle over and continue our convo..she said bring where? Then followed on 'oh I know what you mean and you're wasting your time, I'm not a sexual person I don't like sex'

I was thinking wtf it's the opposite of what u said the other night, so I backtracked a bit and said I misunderstood and suggested we get together during the day (I was too forward for the sex straight away) she said to me 'you are so cute ))') and seemed set on meeting today agreed time and place.

Bro when she says "I'm not a sexual person and I don't like sex." and you keep talking to her, that means you are 100% OK with it. If you try anything sexual now she can always say "what the hell are you doing, I told you 2 weeks ago I hated sex." :nono:

She's thinking "Wow, I told this guy I hated sex and he's still talking to me. I can get my ego fed without even having sex with him. Nice!"

She has to take that statement back before you even think of talking to her again, if at all.

 

[pikachu69]

Bro when she says "I'm not a sexual person and I don't like sex." and you keep talking to her, that means you are 100% OK with it. If you try anything sexual now she can always say "what the hell are you doing, I told you 2 weeks ago I hated sex." :nono:

She's thinking "Wow, I told this guy I hated sex and he's still talking to me. I can get my ego fed without even having sex with him. Nice!"

She has to take that statement back before you even think of talking to her again, if at all.

You're right, my game isn't evolved enough to figure this stuff out myself. I sensed it was a frame grab but wasn't sure what to respond with. This was said after I suggested I bring a bottle round to hers, that's when she wrote I don't like sex and not a sexual person, I honestly don't know what to have written after. I mean, if I don't respond it means I'm only after a quick fvck so she'll lose more interest if I go silent, my thing where I counter offer to meet I the day to show I'm not just after sex was just a back track cos I honestly didn't know what to do.

Would it been a stronger frame to just not reply when she said that? Even tho she would think I was after an easy lay and would not want to think of herself like that. Mistake was even suggesting it in the first place so lesson learned.

All you guys on here say she's not interested etc, fair enough she's not interested now. But had I just told you up to the bit where she texts me the next day saying she had a wonderful time and thank you to the point on friday where I said 'we should get together again in the next few days' and she wrote 'yes ' you would all say she had high IL! It seems contradictory, yes I know know NOW after that she didn't have interest anymore but it sounds like from the get go she never had interest based on what's written here?

Like I said if I had only told you the story of up to the point where she said 'yes ' you'd all tell me to set up another date with her and be ghost till then, seems strange. So bassically she had interest and lost it or never had it in the first place?

 

[Bingo-Player]

the chick is clearly experienced in manipulating men like yourself

you seem like an inherently nice guy and she is exploiting that weakness as hard as she can

she is in full control of your frame and you both know it

you need to delete this chicks number immediately

a lot of guys on this forum need to face up to the fact that women will try to USE you

wether its financially ,sexually or just for basic attention

 

[pyros]

the chick is clearly experienced in manipulating men like yourself

you seem like an inherently nice guy and she is exploiting that weakness as hard as she can

she is in full control of your frame and you both know it

you need to delete this chicks number immediately

a lot of guys on this forum need to face up to the fact that women will try to USE you

wether its financially ,sexually or just for basic attention

This.

SHe went on ONE DAMN date with you, ok, it seems she enjoyed it. Now, after your mistake she changed her mind and became the manipulative/crazy bit-ch that she really is. Her true self appeared but you dont see it.

Its funy how manipulative wh-ores find naive guys like OP.
Made for each other LOL.

P.S.
As I said in a previous post, you should get rid of your desperate mentality. You should stop seing hanging out with a girl like it is a mission. See this, if you do something wrong and the girl doesnt seem interested anymore YOU MOVE ON.
There are other times when you do everything fine and they just loose interest anyway, so dont waste your time.

 

[pikachu69]

Ok I get it just forget her. I thought it would be a good idea in a few days to ask her if she's any better but not ask her out.just keep the convo going..maybe she'll wonder why I haven't asked her out again and will push for a meet up.

It seems all doom and gloom in here so if she had a good date was interested I make a big mistake now she isn't or isn't as much that's it over?

Is that just the easy thing to do just leaving it as it's believed it won't happen and if it does the effort involved is not worth it?

I like to apply the 2 strikes rule an meet up with her twice so.at least I can say I did all.i could, she seemed really into it on the date kino'ing me from time to time rubbing herself on me and her arms (though I think it was cos I was pulling away and not paying attention) she was definitely rationing out the p*ssy.

I really really wanna bang her if that's still possible so moving on for now isn't an option for the time being is there ajy constructivd advice on how I can get another meet? If she declinez then I'll move on.

I was gona ask her how she was feeling in a few days and if she says better make a suggestion to meet in weds or thurs..if she flakes then I'll move on..but would it be better I dont ask her out and just ask her how she's feeling then let her womder why im.not suggesting to meet again?

 

[pyros]

DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT SHE IS NOT INTO YOU??

For God's sake.

At least you should wait for her to contact you and this is what would happen then:

a) she agrees to go on a date with you and then she either flakes, or goes out with you but doesnt let you kiss her, wastes your time, this makes you angry and paranoid over her.
You come here and post about her AGAIN.

b) she declines, gives you lame excuses, she strings you along until you loose all hope; this makes you angry and paranoid over her.
You come here and post about her AGAIN.

Either case is a bad result for you.

Alternative universe) you forget about her, go find another woman, do not make mistakes, you make out, it goes kind of well, etc. You end up happier.

 

[Greasy Pig]

She sounds like an absolute bytch.
"I don't like sex."
"But I wasn't planning on seeing you today or tomorrow..."

That's cold, man. Don't best yourself up. Sure, you might have come across as too available and needy, but a woman who is passionately interested in you will cut you some slack, especially early on.

Chalk this up to experience and next her. If she reaches out with anything less than a date offer, just make an excuse and end the convo.

Another tactic advocated by Mauser is that every time she reaches out to you, ask her for a date, if she declines, end the convo.

 

[LMFAO]

I'll let you know is a standard flake when they really don't give a f*ck.

See this thread on how to handle it:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=193007

In certain cases it can still be salvagable. As RSD Todd sometimes suggests if you see a rejection you must as well burn the number to the ground, for example if you think she's rejecting of you out of neediness then bring out the macho sh*t and see if you can get it back.

If it's not specific (she didn't give an excuse for the flake):
1) "What does that mean?" or "wtf?" (harsh but effective)
2) "You have 60 seconds to decide" or the less aggressive "I may have other plans too let me know in the 15 minutes"
3) "I'll let you know? you sound like my Polish builder, are you painting my house right now? "
4) "I know.. many girls are too shy to go out with me, it's OK, after a drink you'll be more relaxed and you can talk to me a hot charming guy as if it's an ugly girlfriend..but I'm not sure if you'd be able to keep your hands off me"
5) "Cool.. I'm a knight riding a big horse with 20 girls at the back..when you let me know I'll throw one girl off and there may space for you at the back of the queue, just don't expect to be able to reach out and touch me from there as much as you crave for it"
6) "Let me know? You're going to have to go on your hands and knees and beg for it".

Many more..

In this particular case "I'm not a sexual person", I wouldn't even bother contacting her again. She's rude and fvcuking disgusting to say that.

 

[bukowski_merit]

There's no woman this fvcked up in the head who isn't a sexual person....

I'd just move on. Not only is her IL no longer "high-ish".... Not only is she a b!tch.... But she's already made it clear that you'll have to jump through flaming hoops if you even want an opportunity to be with her...

Not worth it.

 

[Starwolf]

Come on Now!! For some really good tricks she will throw a dog a bone!!

she already called you a good boy

she said to me 'you are so cute

You Better learn some new tricks OP!! Get them Milk-Bone treats

Arrf Arrf!!

 

[pikachu69]

Well I've officially decided to leave the ball in her court. I messaged her to ask her how she was feeling and if she was any better? She messaged back 'yes a little bit! Thank you'

I was tempted to respond but I thought don't be that guy who gives too much attention so ive left her with the last word.

Surely it's preached on here if she is interested evenly remotely she'll contact me again over the next week or so suggesting to meet up..she may flake again probably but right now all I can do is move on and focus on new women?

in the unlikelihood she does contact me I should make no suggestion to meet get her to suggest it then also don't commit to a time make her work for it right or should I flake on her also?

I understand normally you only accept a suggestion to meet afe she asks 3 times if she does..on the first and second time should you decline and say you're busy..I don't mean her specifically but in general after a flake with no counter offer?

 

[pyros]

you're damn silly. You ignored all the advice given here, which was to FORGET ABOUT HER and NOT CONTACT HER AGAIN.

Silly indeed...
Keep contacting her, and obsessing over her until you die. LMAO.