Made a stupid mistake tonight, met up with a girl who was with her friends

[Kal0051]

So made a dumbass decision tonight. Ok, originally I called this girl to ask her out for tomorrow night (I've never been out with her before, asked her out a couple weeks ago but she had to cancel). She tells me she can't tomorrow but she's at this bar tonight with her friends (I interpreted this as a invitation). So I show up. And while a couple of her friends were social I didn't get to talk to her that much. When I left we hugged and I said we should go out alone, but didn't get a very enthusiastic response from her. Figure I messed up and probably friendzoned myself. Fvck!

 

[Maxtro]

So I take it you haven't read my newest thread?

Unless you're bringing a bunch of friends with you, you always want it to be just you and her.

Still, in a couple days try to make some plans with her where it's just the two of you. If she declines, you'll know what's up.

 

[f283000]

So I take it you haven't read my newest thread?

lol

When a girl invites you to hang out with friends that is like like an open invitation for you to go get the friend card. I don't understand how guys can mess this up the rule is simple

1. All your interactions and dates with a woman should be 1 on 1 UNTIL YOU REACH YOUR GOAL! (whether it be sex, getting that first kiss, making her your gf etc)

Is that too confusing for some people to understand? Are you not man enough to say no or come up with an excuse to not go to that party she is inviting you too? or say no to go hang out with her friends? or like in this case the bar.

Seduction is a game where you first have to isolate your prey. You don't want women to go from having a date with you to hanging out with you in a social setting with friends around. That's a step backwards. You need to keep it on a 1 on 1 level till you reach your goal.

You can't be changing her mentality from potential lover to hanging out before you become her lover or before you even kiss her. From what I noticed is that those invitations to hang out with friends are really invitations to THE FRIEND ZONE

If a woman starts inviting me to hang out before we have even kissed that's when I know I'm headed in the wrong direction (the friend zone). If she's interested in you as a man she will agree to go out with you alone again to further explore and see your possibilities as a couple.

 

[Kal0051]

lol

When a girl invites you to hang out with friends that is like like an open invitation for you to go get the friend card. I don't understand how guys can mess this up the rule is simple

1. All your interactions and dates with a woman should be 1 on 1 UNTIL IT'S OFFICIAL!

Is that too confusing for some people to understand? Are you not man enough to say no or come up with an excuse to not go to that party she is inviting you too? or say no to go hang out with her friends? or like in this case the bar.

Seduction is a game where you first have to isolate your prey. You don't want women to go from having a date with you to hanging out with you in a social setting with friends around. That's a step backwards. You need to keep it on a 1 on 1 level till you reach your goal (whether that be sex or making her your gf). You can't be changing her mentality from potential lover to hanging out before you become her lover.

yep, and this is why I said I messed up. At the time I made the decision to go I thought that maybe me and her would get some one on one time. That didn't happen. Maybe she didn't even want me to go? Whatever, no reason to analyze it now, what's done is done. And most likely I'm done with her.

 

[kingsam]

she wasnt interested in the first place...

she never counter offered your FIRST invite

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also on group events/dates you can never know who is trying to Block you
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f283000- the guy seems to realise his mistake!

 

[xdreamz]

that's probably what i would have done, tried to get her isolated and talk to her 1 on 1.... i usually like to add something like to smoke a ciggarette, the craziest thing happened... etc...

but if you were tryign to suggest a meetup for later...it doesn't matter what her response is. the thought put in her head is more powerful than that.

 

[Captain]

Meeting a girl on your own who is with friends is OK, IF you can handle groups of women, or if the friends are going to be distracted with something and absent, or if you already know her friends. Otherwise it's best to be alone with her.

 

[masterpiece]

I had this problem on the second date i went to her house and all her mates came round so there were 10 of them and just me so it wasnt good. I just felt awkward as im not the best speaker around a large group of women.
She since apologised for it.

But as a rule now i only meet one on one just because how awkward i felt at the time.

I made a simular post at the time which is here : http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=172844&highlight=masterpiece

 

[Robert28]

i'm in a similar situation. i asked this girl out that supposedly likes me. i say supposedly because a guy friend of hers came up to me oneday and told me how "crazy she was about me". i ask her out, she says sure. then i get a text from her the next day that said "my best friend is graduating from grad school Sat night and we're all going out that night. i was thinking it would be a fun thing to do before an actual formal date."

now, i haven't really accepted her offer yet. i'm supposed to be going out with another girl friend of mine Sat and i told this other girl that i would come out with her and her friends if i could, but i'd have to see. it gives me an excuse to not go out with her and her friends for a first meeting, but i'm still debating on going out to meet them. still not sure what i'm going to do yet though.

 

[Maxtro]

Dude, don't go. Did you even read the posts in this thread?

 

[Robert28]

i did, but the only reason i'm even considering it is the fact that her best guy friend(i think he's gay) was so addiment about how much she's interested in me and liked me. my thinking is if she liked me so much she'd go on a one on one date with me. from the way he talks about her, her interestest level is high, so it might not be so bad to go. it's 50/50 right now. like i said, i'm hanging out with another girl Sat so i might just use that as my excuse not to go.

 

[vatoloco]

Dude, never trust what a third party says about anything. For all you know, the [gay] friend is setting you up for rejection so that you consider HIM after she says "No."

As for the group invite, don't do it. Tell her you already have plans (you do) and ask her out for a specific night, 1-on-1.

 

[vatoloco]

Oh yeah, I forgot to reply to the OP.

Figure I messed up and probably friendzoned myself. Fvck!

Yeah, pretty much. If she were interested in being more than a friend with you, I think she would have made the effort to talk to you more...

 

[Kal0051]

Oh yeah, I forgot to reply to the OP.


Yeah, pretty much. If she were interested in being more than a friend with you, I think she would have made the effort to talk to you more...

yeah, may try her once more. If she says no or acts unsure then I'm done with her. Her loss...

 

[Kailex]

The only time I'd ever accept a group invite like that is when I have absolutely no other options for that night and just to simply go out in a crowd setting.

Once that decision has been made, I'll make sure to approach all of her friends and pretty much make sure that she's the lowest priority of that night. If she wants to go out in a group with me, then she's putting herself at the risk of me hooking up with any of her friends.

I'll create competition within her own ranks.

But that's the ONLY time I'd do it.
I'd rather spend 1 on 1 time with someone else, where it's completely isolated. You might be friend-zoned, but it doesn't mean it's a lost cause... use it for future social proof.

So many men are so quick to dismiss what could become future opportunities... not with the initial target, but subsequent targets related to the first "prey".

 

[Robert28]

The only time I'd ever accept a group invite like that is when I have absolutely no other options for that night and just to simply go out in a crowd setting.

Once that decision has been made, I'll make sure to approach all of her friends and pretty much make sure that she's the lowest priority of that night. If she wants to go out in a group with me, then she's putting herself at the risk of me hooking up with any of her friends.

I'll create competition within her own ranks.

But that's the ONLY time I'd do it.
I'd rather spend 1 on 1 time with someone else, where it's completely isolated. You might be friend-zoned, but it doesn't mean it's a lost cause... use it for future social proof.

So many men are so quick to dismiss what could become future opportunities... not with the initial target, but subsequent targets related to the first "prey".

well i know for a fact that this girl has alot of hot friends...i mean a LOT! she's hot herself. if i do end up going then i will use your strategy of talking to all of them and not hanging on her hip all night long. if i can get her friends to like me, that's usually the secret to getting the girl to like you if you can't be on a one on one date. i dunno though. i can come up with 10 good reasons to not go, but on the other hand i can come up with 10 good reasons to go. i wonder why girls use this strategy of "come out with me and my friends" and guys don't put the girl on the spot and make them do it sometimes?

 

[Kailex]

well i know for a fact that this girl has alot of hot friends...i mean a LOT! she's hot herself. if i do end up going then i will use your strategy of talking to all of them and not hanging on her hip all night long. if i can get her friends to like me, that's usually the secret to getting the girl to like you if you can't be on a one on one date. i dunno though. i can come up with 10 good reasons to not go, but on the other hand i can come up with 10 good reasons to go. i wonder why girls use this strategy of "come out with me and my friends" and guys don't put the girl on the spot and make them do it sometimes?

Be careful.
My strategy isn't to get the friends to like me so that my original target will like me. My strategy involves hooking up with any of the friends. If she wants to bring me into her world, like I said, she's risking losing me to any one of her friends. That'll teach her to stop that crap, at least with me. By being 1 on 1, she doesn't have to worry about competition within her own circle, but if she has friends, GAME ON.

Women use that strategy to stay within a comfort zone. The date is no longer in YOUR lead, it's all in THEIR world and from that point on, it's an uphill battle for you. 1 on 1 is already hard enough, but add in a few more people on HER side and you'll feel like you're an American spy trying to infiltrate the enemy's side trying to get some recon.

With her friends around, she can be a little more "guarded". It's increasingly difficult to break down the barriers if all the friends are around.

So for such reason, I'd rather just hit on the friends and forget about the original target. If she doesn't want to go 1 on 1 OUT, then I assume she has no interest... and as such, doesn't mind if I hook up with her best friend. It's not like her ankles were gonna end up next to my ears, so why should she care, right?

 

[DonGorgon]

So made a dumbass decision tonight. Ok, originally I called this girl to ask her out for tomorrow night (I've never been out with her before, asked her out a couple weeks ago but she had to cancel). She tells me she can't tomorrow but she's at this bar tonight with her friends (I interpreted this as a invitation). So I show up. And while a couple of her friends were social I didn't get to talk to her that much. When I left we hugged and I said we should go out alone, but didn't get a very enthusiastic response from her. Figure I messed up and probably friendzoned myself. Fvck!

sad times... typical desperate male behaviour.. we have all been there and we will all be there again...lol

yup its done she is not into you ... and yes you made it worse by showing up at the bare where she went to find a guy to F... you should have tried to F her friends that would have made her want to F you to..

 

[Kal0051]

The only time I'd ever accept a group invite like that is when I have absolutely no other options for that night and just to simply go out in a crowd setting.

Once that decision has been made, I'll make sure to approach all of her friends and pretty much make sure that she's the lowest priority of that night. If she wants to go out in a group with me, then she's putting herself at the risk of me hooking up with any of her friends.

I'll create competition within her own ranks.

But that's the ONLY time I'd do it.
I'd rather spend 1 on 1 time with someone else, where it's completely isolated. You might be friend-zoned, but it doesn't mean it's a lost cause... use it for future social proof.

So many men are so quick to dismiss what could become future opportunities... not with the initial target, but subsequent targets related to the first "prey".

lol, I would never hook up with any of her friends that were there last night, they were well below my standards. While this girl was cute she seems to have unattractive friends. She was the best looking girl in her group. Even her guy friends weren't very good looking (kind of the geek types).

 

[Kal0051]

sad times... typical desperate male behaviour.. we have all been there and we will all be there again...lol

yup its done she is not into you ... and yes you made it worse by showing up at the bare where she went to find a guy to F... you should have tried to F her friends that would have made her want to F you to..

lol, this comment made me laugh. I wasn't desperate, just made a bad decision. I wanted a beer last night anyway so when she invited me out it seemed like a good time. And no, she wasn't there to find a guy to fvck, as far as I can tell this girl isn't the social type, she just sticks to her group of friends. It wasn't a club either, just a sports bar and we were watching the game. And the last point is that I wouldn't fvck her friends because they were unattractive (though her girlfriends were curious about me).