Luke Skywalker
Banned
- Joined
- May 23, 2006
- Messages
- 2,434
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"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Macdonalds racist commercial.
- Thread starter Luke Skywalker
- Start date
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"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
oakraiderz2
Master Don Juan
Hahaha, we be lovin it.
You cant even spell McDonalds.
You cant even spell McDonalds.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Are you in special Olympics? Are you freaking serious? You know when you watch too much T.V. and have a carrot up your ass when you can't tell the difference between a real or fake commercial and have to b*tch about.Luke Skywalker said:
KarmaSutra
Banned
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2005
- Messages
- 4,818
- Reaction score
- 142
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- 53
Well Done!
I thought about deleting it but figured I'd leave this up for its comedic effect. Whether you laugh at the commercials, Luke believing its real, or his misspelling. But I do have to close this since its Race related.
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