Hey,
I am a first time poster here, but a long time lurker. I have learned so much on this forum that I felt it was time to actually give a little back.
A little history…I was married for 12 years. My ex left me. Hindsight is 20/20, so I can look back with horror on the turn from awesome couple/to marriage. I used to be in the military. I was also a cop. I’ve trained my whole life in one form of martial arts or another. (currently trying to decide between Krav Maga, and BJJ for my next venture).
When we met, I was ****y. I was wild. I didn’t take ****. I was a 5’11’ 230 pound redheaded confident ball of crazy. I tended to dominate groups. I couldn’t help it. Anyone that I couldn’t dominate, I tended to not get along with. Blame my restrictive abusive dad, blame my wiring being wrong, blame the whiskey, whatever, but I spent my years from 17-26 pounding my fists into bodies because I guess I needed to prove something.
Then along came this beautiful broken woman. I had a pretty diverse sex life from travelling all over the world, but I was lonely. She latched onto me. She loved me sooo much and sooo hard. She NEEDED me. This was something of a drug with me. Never before had I experienced being someone’s whole world. We dated, got exclusive, got married. Things were fine for few years….at least until I was tamed.
She was an unhappy person. I tried to make her happy. I worked my ass off. I am a pretty witty guy. I can usually have a comeback in an instant. I could usually make her laugh, but I couldn’t provide 100% happiness 100% of the time. She started growing bitter towards me for letting her down in providing happiness. She would talk to anyone about me but me. She was very passive aggressive, so I would think we had our problem solved, and then bam months later get paid back for things. I read and researched how to be a better husband. I read all of the wrong things of course, because most of the advice out there was to cater to her. Eventually, I turned into an AFC for my wife, because that’s what she said she wanted. I quit a 6 figure job so I could be home more. Women always know what they want right? She wasn’t real happy when we were unable to afford the huge house we had bought. But hey she had more time with me right?
Fast forward to the end of a 12 year marriage. At 10 years, she left me for 3 months. At that point I NEEDED her back. I was completely chasing, a running woman AFC style. They agony of hope is so crushing! It worked. I caught her. We stayed together two more years. We had three kids after all. The whole time I was consuming more and more wrong information. She was losing more and more respect for me. At 12 years, 3 days before Christmas. She left again. I was broken. She wanted out, and I decided not to fight.
That was when I found this site. I decided that I would not put the effort into fighting for the broken thing called a marriage. Why the hell would she want to be with me? I was an Omega male. I went from 6 figures to 35,000 a year. I gave in to her every whim. She wanted something, I would find a way to get it. It ruined us financially, but hey, it made her happy for a week right?
I went no contact. She wanted me back. I stuck to my guns. No contact is no contact. I moved the hell on. I discovered how much fun it was to be single. I started applying the concepts and principles learned here. I WAS SPINNING PLATES LIKE A FREAKING JUGGLER!
She left 1 year 2 months ago. I worked on my career. I got a promotion, moved to a new city. I worked on my body, which had spiked to 280pounds. I’m down to 245 now. Still a way to go, but I carry it decently because I am stocky to begin with. I returned to my hobby of martial arts. There are so many new things to learn. I read all the time. I play pool. I go out with friends. I talk to everyone again. The cool thing is, I merged the AFC I was, with the out of control Alpha that I was trying to be. I still have confidence, I still don’t take ****, but I no longer NEED to dominate everything around me. I can have empathy for someone. I can be a generally nice funny/fun guy without going to extremes. I have the confidence to approach and talk to anyone, without the need to make myself look/feel better. I am now 38 years old. I know I am no Brad Pitt. I rate myself about a 6.5. I’m going bald, but I can pull off the shaved head look due to my size. I stay well groomed. I keep my wardrobe updated. If you need a mental image, one woman described me a “tattooed bear wearing business casual, that she wanted to turn into her teddy bear”. (Tats came from my military days)
I currently have three plates. One of which is the first HB 9.5 of my life. It is truly ridiculous the amount of attention she gets when we go somewhere, but that’s a story for another day. She truly challenges me and keeps me on my toes. One is a solid 7. She is witty, and one of the few women I have ever met that has the ability to actually make me laugh out loud. I truly enjoy her company. The third is a 6, but makes up for that with the effort she puts into sex. I enjoy each of them, but wouldn’t hesitate in a second to drop all three. Actually, I would hate to lose the 6 the most because she gives the best head ever……
I said all of that to say this. Improving yourself is the number one piece of advice you will find on here. That is the foundation of who you are. #2 is aproach approach approach. Everything else is just window dressing. Anti dumps machine is good. Pook’s stuff is good. Weapons of mass seduction is good. The whole damn DJ bible is good, but no other tip on here matters as much as being the best you that you can possibly be. Be who you want to be, have fun, and let others come along for the ride. Grow from every single experience. Thanks for the help Sosuave. Another DJ is born every day.
I am a first time poster here, but a long time lurker. I have learned so much on this forum that I felt it was time to actually give a little back.
A little history…I was married for 12 years. My ex left me. Hindsight is 20/20, so I can look back with horror on the turn from awesome couple/to marriage. I used to be in the military. I was also a cop. I’ve trained my whole life in one form of martial arts or another. (currently trying to decide between Krav Maga, and BJJ for my next venture).
When we met, I was ****y. I was wild. I didn’t take ****. I was a 5’11’ 230 pound redheaded confident ball of crazy. I tended to dominate groups. I couldn’t help it. Anyone that I couldn’t dominate, I tended to not get along with. Blame my restrictive abusive dad, blame my wiring being wrong, blame the whiskey, whatever, but I spent my years from 17-26 pounding my fists into bodies because I guess I needed to prove something.
Then along came this beautiful broken woman. I had a pretty diverse sex life from travelling all over the world, but I was lonely. She latched onto me. She loved me sooo much and sooo hard. She NEEDED me. This was something of a drug with me. Never before had I experienced being someone’s whole world. We dated, got exclusive, got married. Things were fine for few years….at least until I was tamed.
She was an unhappy person. I tried to make her happy. I worked my ass off. I am a pretty witty guy. I can usually have a comeback in an instant. I could usually make her laugh, but I couldn’t provide 100% happiness 100% of the time. She started growing bitter towards me for letting her down in providing happiness. She would talk to anyone about me but me. She was very passive aggressive, so I would think we had our problem solved, and then bam months later get paid back for things. I read and researched how to be a better husband. I read all of the wrong things of course, because most of the advice out there was to cater to her. Eventually, I turned into an AFC for my wife, because that’s what she said she wanted. I quit a 6 figure job so I could be home more. Women always know what they want right? She wasn’t real happy when we were unable to afford the huge house we had bought. But hey she had more time with me right?
Fast forward to the end of a 12 year marriage. At 10 years, she left me for 3 months. At that point I NEEDED her back. I was completely chasing, a running woman AFC style. They agony of hope is so crushing! It worked. I caught her. We stayed together two more years. We had three kids after all. The whole time I was consuming more and more wrong information. She was losing more and more respect for me. At 12 years, 3 days before Christmas. She left again. I was broken. She wanted out, and I decided not to fight.
That was when I found this site. I decided that I would not put the effort into fighting for the broken thing called a marriage. Why the hell would she want to be with me? I was an Omega male. I went from 6 figures to 35,000 a year. I gave in to her every whim. She wanted something, I would find a way to get it. It ruined us financially, but hey, it made her happy for a week right?
I went no contact. She wanted me back. I stuck to my guns. No contact is no contact. I moved the hell on. I discovered how much fun it was to be single. I started applying the concepts and principles learned here. I WAS SPINNING PLATES LIKE A FREAKING JUGGLER!
She left 1 year 2 months ago. I worked on my career. I got a promotion, moved to a new city. I worked on my body, which had spiked to 280pounds. I’m down to 245 now. Still a way to go, but I carry it decently because I am stocky to begin with. I returned to my hobby of martial arts. There are so many new things to learn. I read all the time. I play pool. I go out with friends. I talk to everyone again. The cool thing is, I merged the AFC I was, with the out of control Alpha that I was trying to be. I still have confidence, I still don’t take ****, but I no longer NEED to dominate everything around me. I can have empathy for someone. I can be a generally nice funny/fun guy without going to extremes. I have the confidence to approach and talk to anyone, without the need to make myself look/feel better. I am now 38 years old. I know I am no Brad Pitt. I rate myself about a 6.5. I’m going bald, but I can pull off the shaved head look due to my size. I stay well groomed. I keep my wardrobe updated. If you need a mental image, one woman described me a “tattooed bear wearing business casual, that she wanted to turn into her teddy bear”. (Tats came from my military days)
I currently have three plates. One of which is the first HB 9.5 of my life. It is truly ridiculous the amount of attention she gets when we go somewhere, but that’s a story for another day. She truly challenges me and keeps me on my toes. One is a solid 7. She is witty, and one of the few women I have ever met that has the ability to actually make me laugh out loud. I truly enjoy her company. The third is a 6, but makes up for that with the effort she puts into sex. I enjoy each of them, but wouldn’t hesitate in a second to drop all three. Actually, I would hate to lose the 6 the most because she gives the best head ever……
I said all of that to say this. Improving yourself is the number one piece of advice you will find on here. That is the foundation of who you are. #2 is aproach approach approach. Everything else is just window dressing. Anti dumps machine is good. Pook’s stuff is good. Weapons of mass seduction is good. The whole damn DJ bible is good, but no other tip on here matters as much as being the best you that you can possibly be. Be who you want to be, have fun, and let others come along for the ride. Grow from every single experience. Thanks for the help Sosuave. Another DJ is born every day.