"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Lukewarm Dates?

Gazing

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Recently I went on a date with a shy girl. (I'm kind of shy too btw)

We didn't know each other very well before the date so we spent an hour and half basically just chatting and getting to know each other. I applied all the rules like looking into her eyes, open ended questions, picking up on convo topics, etc. Yet I think the date was just OK.

I don't know if its our mutual shyness or we were still kind of strangers but I didn't get the sync between us a great date brings.

The day after the lunch she went on a vacation with her family so I haven't had the chance to talk to her yet. (About a weeks ago)

Basically, should I ask for a second date after she gets back or should I next?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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B

BeDJ

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How did the date end? Kiss close or an awkward hug?

The priority on the first date is gauging her interest level.

- Let her do 80% of the talking, nod your head and throw in a remark occasionally
- Notice her body language, closed or open
- I am a firm believer that dilated pupils equate to interest
- Sometimes let the conversation die, see if she asks a question about you are just makes some stupid remark
- Don't say more than necessary, keep her guessing
- Just have fun, you'll make your date enjoy it

Although the first date can go exceptionally well, ending with a make-out...You really have no control whether she wants to see you again. Don't sweat it, I would give it a couple of days and ask her out again via a phone call. If she rejects and doesn't give her a counter offer, NEXT her. She may call back to arrange a meeting or she may not. Either way, you'll know how much she is interested in you.
 

Gazing

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BeginningDJ said:
How did the date end? Kiss close or an awkward hug?

The priority on the first date is gauging her interest level.

- Let her do 80% of the talking, nod your head and throw in a remark occasionally
- Notice her body language, closed or open
- I am a firm believer that dilated pupils equate to interest
- Sometimes let the conversation die, see if she asks a question about you are just makes some stupid remark
- Don't say more than necessary, keep her guessing
- Just have fun, you'll make your date enjoy it

Although the first date can go exceptionally well, ending with a make-out...You really have no control whether she wants to see you again. Don't sweat it, I would give it a couple of days and ask her out again via a phone call. If she rejects and doesn't give her a counter offer, NEXT her. She may call back to arrange a meeting or she may not. Either way, you'll know how much she is interested in you.
It was a hug unfortunately, I didn't feel comfortable kissing after just an hour and half of meeting her. I did most of what you suggested already tho. She's very interested to keep the convo alive, like she would ask me a question if the convo was just down for like 3 seconds.
 
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