LTR Tip - The female system of scoring men

[Bible_Belt]

There is a recent thread in the MM forum about a guy working too much and losing his relationship over it. That is a life scenario that is very common.

A woman will value several small things you do for her over the course of the day much more highly than going off to work a job to provide for her - even if you work it all day. That is not really fair, and it does not make sense, but the same is true for relationships. Women have a scoring system for men that does not make much sense to most guys. And of course I am not saying that you don't have your own scoring system yourself to balance against hers, she has to please you too, but all of that aside, here is how women score men.

For example, on Friday you work extra late so that you can have your weekend free to be at home. That earns you one point in her eyes. Then, you are grumpy and tired when you get home and want to go to bed early. That subtracts one point. You then are at about even for the day, despite being exhausted.

Then, on Saturday, you mostly sit on your ass and drink beer in front of the tv. Over the course of the day, you kill a bug for her and later take out the trash; the time spent on these two tasks together is about thirty seconds, yet you get two points. Later you go mow the yard, which might take a fraction of an hour, but you've been drinking beer all day and machinery now sounds like fun. That gets you one point. Then later, you take her out to dinner - paying is not the point, it is mostly going together. You still get one point either way. Then, add another point for good sex before you pass out - drunk, full, happy, and satisfied. Your net score on the day is +5.

It is not fair that you don't score more in a woman's eyes for working long hours to provide for her. But that is just how it is. Countless men will toil away their lives trying to make a woman happy without ever learning this simple lesson. And while they are away toiling, their wives will be doing the pool guy.

 

[Isko]

I would agree with this somewhat. I think relationships are averages of the moment-to-moment feelings people have about one another. Every time she's giving you a "point", she's not consciously keeping score; she's just feeling happy that she's dating you.

 

[KontrollerX]

This topic is great advice for the morality crew guys that want to get married and get into LTR's.

Players on the other hand, guys that are about hitting it and quitting it mostly only need to worry about if a woman is pleasing them.

 

[slaog]

Working too much is not having a balances life. Sometimes guys are obsessed with money but if they neglect other parts of their lives then what good it the extra bit of money. Therefore I think that although men might see this as being unfair, the women have a point.

 

[Interceptor]

This topic is great advice for the morality crew guys that want to get married and get into LTR's.

Players on the other hand, guys that are about hitting it and quitting it mostly only need to worry about if a woman is pleasing them.

This makes no sense.
One can be moral and not want to be married or in an LTR.



But the post did shed some light on a very common dynamic found in LTRs.

Ultimately one must find balance.
Balance in pleasing one'sSelf, and doing things for and WITH your partner.
If you work too much, then youre not spending enough time with her, so she resents it.
If you work too little, she may wonder if you have any ambition at all and dont value her.
If youre with her too much, she may feel smothered. If you give her too much space, she may think you dont want to be with her, and she'll feel lonely.
Ultimately, if you care about your partner you will try to do the right thing for yourself and your partner.
And it's all in how you balance your Life and spend your time.
So its important to take some time and review your life choices and see if you are living the life you want to live. In addition, we have to keep in mind that we cant make EVERYONE happy. It is very important to have a partner that realizes that, and doesnt place extra unnecessary pressure on us.
Likewise, if we want to keep a partner around if we're in an LTR, we are going to have to pay attention and make choices that benefit the relationship. So yeah, it can seem like a Catch 22, but if we try to inform ourselves and pay attention as much as we can, we can bring in some peace and harmony into our relationships.