Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

LTR now Pregnant and problems

john1234

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You remember I met a girlfriend and we were in love but were having some arguments like normal couples do, things got better and we were more settled. She always used to tell me how she wanted my child and often used to say she can’t wait to have one, she always mentioned how she loved me and can’t wait for us to have a baby etc. I began to use contraception and told her where I stand on this, that I do want children but in a couple of months’ time when I complete studies. She said that’s perfect (3months time).
She never did want contraception and always was angry when I brought contraception…………
Months later, I’m in the final stage of my studies and she declares pregnancy. I’m financially prepared so was not worried and was supportive and knew that it would happen sooner or later right!?
During the weeks she was pregnant, she constantly shouted at me and argued with me over pointless stuff and I never raised my voice to her but I felt miserable and trapped and wanted to end the relationship. One day she snapped at me and then I left the relationship and went home, hours later she missed calls me, so I called her back and talking to her I realised that I still love her so I went back to her and we talked things over
The One thing I learnt about her was , Her Family are very important in her life. Also she has a best friends that she has known for years and they are also very important in her life. Her parents treat her like a teenager even though she is an Adult over 27 years old!
The next few days she was so happy and things were wonderful and she kept on talking about baby schools, clothes ,toys and everything you can imagine . I tell her not to mention the pregnancy news to her family until a few days has passed(as I know ).

The Night she telephoned her parents to tell them the news, Her Mum called her a “****” and told her never to come to see them and the rest of her family cut her off.
She Cried so badly, she was hurt badly by what the parents said and she cried the whole night and she cried the whole of the next day, I obviously comforted her. Her best friend told her stuff also which I can only assume was along the lines of “Don’t complicate your life, enjoy your life ” because the friend is single and always boast of never having emotional relationships.
The next day she gave me a weird look and started telling me how she doesn’t think this is a good idea and named a million reasons why. I tried to convince her that it was good and now there is an unborn child involved! That I will be there for her and the baby and also the upbringing of the child. She said that is nice and she will go ahead with the pregnancy.
The next day she phones her Parents/ friend and they carry on telling her the Bullsh*t! . The next day the same conversation came up and it ended the same way. The next day the same conversation came up, however this time she said that she cannot go through with the pregnancy because she is getting depressed and I was so shocked .
She was looking to start an argument to break us up, first it was you will not support , then you will sleep around , I said some things and then, she just said “she needs to remain Alone” therefore I left her and told her to phone me if she needs anything what so ever! or needs me to come to hospital appointments ….that I will be there for her and the baby 100%.
1 days later she we talk on the phone. I say I want to see her but she says she wants to remain alone, I respect her wishes. The next day she sends me a text message that she is in hospital(confirmed with papers).
I call her ASAP and she says she is in hospital with her best friend! And tells me not to come there! she is upset with me and said she loves me and it’s not me but maybe in the future she will change but she wants to be alone and can’t go ahead.

I love her
Opinnions will be a great help !
 
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john1234

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5string said:
Did she have an abortion or am I missing something?
I can confirm she has not had the abortion yet but it was for the scan.
 

5string

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john1234 said:
I can confirm she has not had the abortion yet but it was for the scan.
Is that what you think is going to happen?

Why are her parents so pissed off and unsupportive? Do they not like you? Her? Need more info.

One thing for sure, you need to do what's best for you.

Oh, and another thing. Only love someone if they have earned it.
 

john1234

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5string said:
Is that what you think is going to happen?

Why are her parents so pissed off and unsupportive? Do they not like you? Her? Need more info.

One thing for sure, you need to do what's best for you.

Oh, and another thing. Only love someone if they have earned it.
I doubt that because its medically too early as preparation is needed, but is always a possibility that she may, but i sort of have the proof she is still pregnant.

Her parents dont know me, but she has had a past relationship were that guy was allegedly very bad to her and the family.I was told The family think she has just gotten free from him so she should enjoy life, they also dont like the idea of baby sitting the kid when she stays over there and also her career she just got a certificate ?
 

amoka

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Did you say her own mother called her a "whOr“ or a "5h1t". Either way there seems to be something inherently wrong with this woman. Her problems will only get worse as time goes by... and in your case may have to deal with her for another 18 plus years. Your best luck is for her to carry on with the abortion and leave her alone. Are you even certain she is indeed pregnant?
 

john1234

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amoka said:
Did you say her own mother called her a "whOr“ or a "5h1t". Either way there seems to be something inherently wrong with this woman. Her problems will only get worse as time goes by... and in your case may have to deal with her for another 18 plus years. Your best luck is for her to carry on with the abortion and leave her alone. Are you even certain she is indeed pregnant?
certain,but I will accept if she wants an abortion and show her my support as its her body, but I will not tell her to do it!
 
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Warrior74

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She's acting like a spoiled child to be honest. Here family sounds messed up and so does she. If she terminates pregnancy, terminate the relationship. Seriously. Get the **** out.
 

disgustipated

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Stories like this make.me glad I've dodged fatherhood. What's this guy to do? Damn nightmare.
 

Bible_Belt

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In female logic, everything is your fault. You turned her into a wh0re who is hated by her own family. She will probably abort the kid and hate you forever because of it. If she goes through with the abortion, that's your cue to make sure she exits your life for good. It's too much emotional baggage for a relationship.
 

GotED?

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Sounds like she has Nazi parents and is very immature, or she has done some REAL STUPID SH*T in the past and her parents has learned to watch over everything she does because she can't be trusted with her decision making skills in life.

I would say this is a scenario of the 'Titanic' sinking - what do you want to do? Sink with her and her whole Adam's Family party? or throw her a life boat and be there for your future child in a distance financially but keep your life intact and survive?

The choice is yours, my friend. Be well.

Exodus
 

SecondHalf

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Confused, immature woman, born from confused (no class) family.

5% chance she'll abort
95% chance she'll give birth to that child

Do you want to live with/marry this woman?
If that hasn't been discussed or has been dodged, the behavior is pretty obvious.
If you are dodging ... I'd be pushing every button for that abortion.
If you have to pay her 1000 child support per month...
1000*12*20!!!!
Say good bye to 1/4 million bucks.

And given this chicks behavior so far, don't expect her to play nice!
(given what you've told us ... which is very little about your dynamics).

SH
 

Down Low

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Please keep us informed.

Let's see... overly nice and supplicating in the start... abusive raving begins after you've made some commitment to her... sounds like what they call Borderline Personality Disorder. If so, she will make your life a living hell every single day. You'll dread being around her, waiting for her to snap yet again and shock your nerves. You'll take emotional battery until you commit suicide or leave her. If she's BPD, there's no long-term solution that includes you being around her.

Personally, I think BPD is a catch-all for lazy diagnosis. There are other disorders that are in fairly low-grade stages, but combined, make for one crazy b1tch. I went through it. Don't bother to stick around so you can discover all of her deep seated mental disturbances. I'm not at all a better man for going through it. I wish I'd found this site five years ago.

I'm afraid Second Half has it right. She won't abort because there's something she desperately wants from you. Money. And lots of it. She wants you to give her a free ride for the indefinite future.
 

john1234

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Down Low said:
Please keep us informed.

Let's see... overly nice and supplicating in the start... abusive raving begins after you've made some commitment to her... sounds like what they call Borderline Personality Disorder. If so, she will make your life a living hell every single day. You'll dread being around her, waiting for her to snap yet again and shock your nerves. You'll take emotional battery until you commit suicide or leave her. If she's BPD, there's no long-term solution that includes you being around her.

Personally, I think BPD is a catch-all for lazy diagnosis. There are other disorders that are in fairly low-grade stages, but combined, make for one crazy b1tch. I went through it. Don't bother to stick around so you can discover all of her deep seated mental disturbances. I'm not at all a better man for going through it. I wish I'd found this site five years ago.

I'm afraid Second Half has it right. She won't abort because there's something she desperately wants from you. Money. And lots of it. She wants you to give her a free ride for the indefinite future.
Tell me more about what you think?

Bible_Belt
was right as spoke to her and she some how blames me fully for the pregnancy, she now says she didn't ask me to get her pregnant(why refuse the contraception then?and after the first pregnancy scare,avoided us going to fit coil). She is pregnant and sick and all that stuff so she feels that she can't go through with the pregnancy not to mention the parents/friend.

I don't think I'm only to blame for the pregnancy am I right??as it was discussed and I initiated contraception and she was not concerned at all.

I work with this girl also so I will be seeing her at work :( I don't want to go. All my friends know we are together and stuff.

I think she wants to end it, because she has an appointment scheduled and did not tell me. like I said, I will accept if she wants an abortion and show her my support as it is her body, but I will never tell her to do it! nor support that.

life is a blur right now, because I love this girl and then this sh*t has happened.
 

Warrior74

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john1234 said:
Tell me more about what you think?

Bible_Belt
was right as spoke to her and she some how blames me fully for the pregnancy, she now says she didn't ask me to get her pregnant(why refuse the contraception then?and after the first pregnancy scare,avoided us going to fit coil). She is pregnant and sick and all that stuff so she feels that she can't go through with the pregnancy not to mention the parents/friend.

I don't think I'm only to blame for the pregnancy am I right??as it was discussed and I initiated contraception and she was not concerned at all.

I work with this girl also so I will be seeing her at work :( I don't want to go. All my friends know we are together and stuff.

I think she wants to end it, because she has an appointment scheduled and did not tell me. like I said, I will accept if she wants an abortion and show her my support as it is her body, but I will never tell her to do it! nor support that.

life is a blur right now, because I love this girl and then this sh*t has happened.

She wants you to tell her to do it. So she can blame you after for what she really wants. It's obvious. She can't accept blame for it. Either way you will be the bad guy here. You need to ACCEPT THAT FACT FROM NOW ON. If she has the kid, you knocked her up and ruined her life, if she has an abortion. It's your fault (although she will tell all her friends she had a 'miscarriage' and she still gets to be the victim). If you break up with her, you'll be the bad guy. If you stay with her, you'll be the bad guy. You're the bad guy so...say good night.

A true thug would snatch her up by the arm and tell her she's getting rid of it and send her to the clinic with threats of not marrying her, not taking care of her and her kid, and generally being a selfish azzhole. You know that's half the reason women love thugs. Their selfishness makes it easy to always be the victim and seem "good".

I have to keep reminding myself that this woman is 27 and acting like this. This sounds like something you hear from the 18-20 year olds in the general discussion forum.
 

Rollo Tomassi

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I'm gonna let this thread continue, but JOHN1234 put an age on your profile.
 

john1234

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I'm sure its mine.

Sometimes I think that she makes a good argument , like her career is at risk and she cannot cope with pregnancy as getting depressed. But how can a grown woman in her Thirties behave like this.
The truth is since she became pregnant she has become even more of an irrational and unstable person and this is not helping at all.

She is very angry with me when we speak, but I just accept it.

She has pretty much destroyed my confidence blaming me for all the bad in the relationship. I feel like a bad guy and I don't think I am a bad person?I don't think I'm selfish and I don't think I am inconsiderate. I will be crushed if she aborts the kid and dumps me, I would feel too low and may become depressed.

What do you suggest I do in the coming weeks?
 

Epimanes

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Ok .. not sure what happened .. but i made a post with some very good suggestions and now its gone. It seems to have been deleted. Was there an issue with my posting? Am i doing something wrong? Possibly didnt like my link? please explain. I am full of great suggestions to fix relationships. I love this don juan site .. but when it comes to LTR i got a TON of experience in that since i have been married for 15 years and with my wife for darn near 19 years with TONS of ups and downs.
 

john1234

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Epimanes said:
Ok .. not sure what happened .. but i made a post with some very good suggestions and now its gone. It seems to have been deleted. Was there an issue with my posting? Am i doing something wrong? Possibly didnt like my link? please explain. I am full of great suggestions to fix relationships. I love this don juan site .. but when it comes to LTR i got a TON of experience in that since i have been married for 15 years and with my wife for darn near 19 years with TONS of ups and downs.
PM me asap
 
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