LTR losing interest, or am I just too needy ?

[NeverChase]

I'm with her for almost 2.5 years. The girl used to be extremely clingy and loving for the first 1.5 years, I was a god for her. So maybe after this, normal love seems too cold for me:

She doesn't hold me tight when we kiss, hug or fvck. She doesn't tell me a lot about her life. She doesn't laugh hard from our humor. She doesn't try to agree with me on neutral subjects. She sometimes yawns when I tell her stories. She doesn't orgasm frequently, she used to orgasm much more. She fakes being horny without any foreplay, while she's dry. She doesn't seem to care much when I leave the bed, when I meet her and when I tell her goodbye, she used to drop all her plans just to be with me before, today she left early for a super boring family occasion she'd normally miss. She's looking for places to go when we meet suddenly. She went to a male gynecologist although I'm her first, she only had to take a taxi/bus to have a female doctor. She laughs about other men mentioning me : the gynecologist, her driving instructor ... Until a talk we had recently, she used to talk to her internet friends (guys) much more than to me. Now she blocked all of them without me asking this (5 guys I know of).

There's a lot of politics behind our relationship though - She became kind of "red pill", she's afraid of getting hurt by me cheating, leaving or disrespecting her. So she might be detaching on purpose, her head might be so deep in this stuff that she can't love - It happens to me frequently when I get bad signs from her.
However if she's really losing interest, going out of my way to prove endless love and loyalty will make it much worse, although I can't really prove anything - she knows I can say whatever I want without really meaning it, so my words are worthless.

So what do you think, am I simply being a clingy pvssy? How do I tell if this is legit disinterest? I do feel like I'm not getting enough warmth and love from her most of the time, and when I do it seems fake many times.

 

[Moroder]

You'll forgive me for acting like the NSA, but I just looked at your recent thread about leaving gray zones gray
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=222593
From this and your questions here I reckon that both your GF and you like to play it safe, i. e. avoiding verbal committments, making clear statements etc. This helps you both in saving face, but it doesn't really get you anywhere bc no one acknowledges the white elephant.
So you can either walk away and dump her. This is the easy way, and bc unresolved issues always resurface, the problem will show up in your next LTR.
Or you can think about what really bothers you and why and then talk to her. This is what I would recommend.

 

[NeverChase]

Her coldness really bothers me and makes me insecure, what can I say though?
Whatever I might say can only make her fake interest , which is terrible. The last thing I want in the world, is her hugging me and whatever to make me feel secure and loved because she knows I need it.

 

[stevo]

You have to understand interest goes up and down, if you still like her be patient. As long as she's not cheating.

For right now:

Reduce the amount of time you meet.

Reduce the amount of info you give her

Reduce the amount of times you have seks and when you do have seks it should be just once per day.

If she acts distance, let her have her space.

When she comes to you, welcome her.

You do not have to say anything but if you do want to, just be honest with her. "We've been distant, if there's anything going with you you want to talk to me about, know I'm here for you"

 

[NeverChase]

Actually I started doing all these a few months ago, only to maintain attraction and as a response to her disinterest.
I'm trying to recover from this now, but very gradually. If her disinterest is real, the last thing I wanna do is put efforts into getting closer.

 

[collosuss]

So what do you think, am I simply being a clingy pvssy? How do I tell if this is legit disinterest? I do feel like I'm not getting enough warmth and love from her most of the time, and when I do it seems fake many times.[/QUOTE]

Yes u are being a clingy P*ssy... 2. U know damn well the disinterest is legit, quot lying to yourself bro. 3. " I do feel like I'm not getting enough warmth and love". Smh, u sound like a female bro thats probably why she is distancing herself... get your sexy appeal and your IDGAF attitude rolling and go SPIN PLATES...

 

[NeverChase]

collosuss, after years of doing this, I just got sick of lying to myself how I feel. It doesn't work.
Cheating on her might fix my neediness but I don't really plan to do it now, maybe as a last resort.
Honestly I don't know if the disinterest is honest, I get mixed signals and the crap behind our relationship makes things complicated.

 

[collosuss]

collosuss, after years of doing this, I just got sick of lying to myself how I feel. It doesn't work.
Cheating on her might fix my neediness but I don't really plan to do it now, maybe as a last resort.
Honestly I don't know if the disinterest is honest, I get mixed signals and the crap behind our relationship makes things complicated.

Your problem is bro that u are putting the level of a woman importance too damn high... your girl can sense your weakness. U most become attractive again to women period. Women only want men other women want. All throughout your life before u meet this girl u where okay, now she in it and not acting the way u want and now its a problem??? LIVE LIFE SPIN PLATES AND ACCOMPLISH YOUR GOALS AS A MAN...

 

[bigneil]

What I do in LTR's is simply let them call me - always. That way, as she loses interest, she talks to me less, then misses me, then comes back. It normalizes itself.

The key to this is to be a master of picking up new women. When you go on a date with her, take her to places where she meets 2 or 3 attractive women who have flirted you with or even dated you in the past. That way, should she pull away from you, you can return to those avenues without her, and be socially pre-approved.

 

[Poon King]

The dramatic change in a woman's personally is proof of her manipulation and phony balony behavior she uses to seduce men.

In romance, women are full of sh!t. Their morals and personalities are "situational". This means they play the part to get what they want from a person or situation. Once they believe they don't need you anymore, the personality shift is dramatic.

Men should remember that a woman's behavior doesn't change because of HIM.. it changes because the woman was full of sh!t from the start... and now her priorities have changed.

OP.. don't date women who don't treat you the way you want. I suggest calling her out first. Simply say: "Babe, I've noticed a dramatic change in your behavior from our first year of dating".

I bet you money she will blame it on YOU. Don't argue with her though. Just stay silent and take in all her complaints about you. Then ask her if she is finished. Then dump her.

 

[collosuss]

The dramatic change in a woman's personally is proof of her manipulation and phony balony behavior she uses to seduce men.

In romance, women are full of sh!t. Their morals and personalities are "situational". This means they play the part to get what they want from a person or situation. Once they believe they don't need you anymore, the personality shift is dramatic.

Men should remember that a woman's behavior doesn't change because of HIM.. it changes because the woman was full of sh!t from the start... and now her priorities have changed.

OP.. don't date women who don't treat you the way you want. I suggest calling her out first. Simply say: "Babe, I've noticed a dramatic change in your behavior from our first year of dating".

I bet you money she will blame it on YOU. Don't argue with her though. Just stay silent and take in all her complaints about you. Then ask her if she is finished. Then dump her.