LTR-how to treat her

[Zerotwoonenine]

just reading posts in the archive. I am in a LTR and i am a pretty good DJ, yet i am even confused as to what to do.

I broke up with my 2 year LTR GF and begged her to get back with me. I was trying to be a more of a DJ but i was insecure at the same time. So i was a hallmark AFC for that 2 years, i was insecure and controlling and she hated it. Yet somehow i have managed to apply enough of my DJ techniques to have her literally head over heels for me. So its kina weird because i was DJ and AFC at the same time.

anyways now i am much less controlling and more confident, yet sometimes i am still insecure but i am changing that.

From what i experierenced, women need compliments and feelings of love and security in their LTR. Yet we as DJs are never supposed to put them on the pedstal or tell them we love them all the time, being clingy etc...

so how do you keep the balance in LTR, how do you give her enough so she feels like she loves you so much, yet you won't let her become too "full" so she backs away?

how do you keep the balance? how do you act?

TY

 

[TheDoctor]

Bump......any answers?

 

[EvilAgenda]

DeAngelo said:
"It's much easier to GET a girl,,then it is to KEEP a girl."

(Squirrels posted about the biggest sh*t test that guys fail once they GET the girl. It's a very interesting article and perhaps that article can be of some help to you. Here is the link:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=134995)

 

[KontrollerX]

Answers:

1. Whenever you feel a great sense of appreciation for her let her know but if you are really struggling with how much to give her maybe create a limit of how much you give from week to week or on a two week cycle. Sounds kind of silly for sure but if you need a quick and fast rule for this maybe limit her to no more than four praise/compliment things every week or in every two week span. You could go for a bit more or less depending on what your gut instinct feeling is telling you would be ok or what you should do etc.

2. To get her subconsciously trained and associating getting her needed praise from doing good and pleasing things for you try and mostly praise/compliment her after she does such things.

3. Only occassionally praise/compliment her when she is feeling down in order to cheer her up as you do not want her to subconsciously come to associate your praise/compliments of her with negative times in her life.

 

[r0cky]

When you're in an ltr, you dont need to use a lot of the dj skills. Why. because you're already past the attraction stage. Being a DJ deals more with CREATING attraction and being a ladies man, than with being in a serious relationship.
You need to MAINTAIN attraction in ltr, but maintaining it is a little different than CREATING attraction. They both require different tools, sometimes. In the initial stage of attraction you're showing that she has to earn your attention. In an LTR it is pretty much settled that she has a lot of your attention.
Being an LTR type of dj and having 2 LTR's at the moment, I can tell you that being in the frame of "I want you but i dont need you" at all times, is enough to maintain attraction.

 

[Captain]

When you're in an ltr, you dont need to use a lot of the dj skills. Why. because you're already past the attraction stage.

No, you always need to keep doing what you've been doing. A lot of women complain about men acting like a DJ early on in the dating, but when they get into an exclusive relationship, he lets everything slip and he becomes an AFC.

being in the frame of "I want you but i dont need you" at all times, is enough to maintain attraction.

This is true.

 

[Guoy Darko]

When you're in an ltr, you dont need to use a lot of the dj skills. Why. because you're already past the attraction stage. Being a DJ deals more with CREATING attraction and being a ladies man, than with being in a serious relationship.

You're confusing a DJ with a PUA.