LTR has let it all out about not liking my parents

[Duracell_Bunny]

As title, it's only come about recently that my ltr is now complaining about my parents. She's kept it bottled up until now.

It started when we went out for a meal with my parents a few weeks back, and she had a couple of drinks. We got back and she was being very cold.

She said she find's my Dad dominating (it's just the way he is) and rude, then complains of how my parents didn't spend much on her at Christmas (her parents spent a lot on me).

Now she has this attitude problem each time I mention my Dad, she has that rolling of the eyes going quiet attitude.

She is very close to her parents, and they are very soft towards her. I don't think she understands that families get along in different ways. Now she's making issues out of nothing, like accusing my parents of trying to get involved in things such as moving home, when all they have done is say what to watch out for and their previous experiences. Or, we show them a home we liked and the point out the odd thing that is wrong with it - she took it to heart and got upset.

Everything else in the relationship has been excellent. It's like she's found something to bother me with, and I have know idea why she has lowered herself to doing that.

 

[ludis]

It could be that she's rationalising and projecting some loss of respect for you. Or it could be a sh!t test.

If you're in an LTR with her, it's probable that she's getting complacent.
My take is that you should game her, remind her who's calling the shots.

 

[Duracell_Bunny]

It could be that she's rationalising and projecting some loss of respect for you. Or it could be a sh!t test.

If you're in an LTR with her, it's probable that she's getting complacent.
My take is that you should game her, remind her who's calling the shots.

I find it odd that it doesn't fit in with her general mood.

When I come home from work the next day, she will be looking out the window waiting for me then come running to the front door to greet me with a big smile and open arms. Not what I'd expect when we go the sleep the night before, distancing ourselves.

 

[expos]

I'd like to hear more opinions on this.

What if your spouse or LTR has picked fights with your parents - or constantly trashes them? Does this almost become a deal breaker?

 

[Epimanes]

Well neither my wife nor I like our parents. I'd didn't start that way but took a while to realize the abuse they projected on us. Maybe she is right about your dad? If he's rude and such and she says and you agree that he is but that's just the way he is maybe you should talk to your dad about his behavior?

My parents are narcisissitic, marters, rude, loud and untactful and only do for you if you do for them first and even then they complain that nothing is ever good enough for them. It got to the point of us trying to please them so much for a little support from them wirh our kids that we finally gave up and told them all to fvck off.

My wifes parents well that's another story and too big to post here.

Anyhow. Maybe really listen to your womans complaints. They may be valid and your just used to their rude ways. Talk to your dad (I tried with mine but that didn't work but maybe your closer to your parents than I am of mine) and express your wifes complaints. It could be she is thinking "I have those in-laws to look forward too?" And be dreading it since ther demeanor is much different than what's she's used to and not looking forward to having them around for the rest of her life if you guys get married. Just a thought... Like I said I eventually had to tell all our parents to fvck off since they were of no help and generated a lot of anxiety in our home.

Epi

 

[zinc4]

I'd like to hear more opinions on this.

What if your spouse or LTR has picked fights with your parents - or constantly trashes them? Does this almost become a deal breaker?

If they disrespect my parents and it is unprovoked then yes, it is a major deal breaker......it's not ok for anyone to disrespect your parents.

OP, tell her to hit the road....not only is it disrespectful to your parents, it's disrespectful to you...and she obviously has control or domineering issues herself...kick her to the road man...that is a huge no no. And i know her personality type and can already tell you what a nasty little b&tch she is.

A quality woman will never disrespect your parents and will even get angry at you if you disrespect them in front of her.

 

[expos]

A quality woman will never disrespect your parents and will even get angry at you if you disrespect them in front of her.

Holy Sh!t. This is a revelation to me.

My ex did pick a fight with my mom in my parents house at Christmas two years ago. It was insane. This was after they brought us out for dinner and paid for the whole tab. I won't get into the dumb story, but that's why I asked the question. Part of me wanted to side with my wife (we are supposed to protect who we love) but I couldn't do it because she was clearly in the wrong.

Part two of this is whenever my ex would get into a fight with her dad at his house, I would interrupt or break up the fight and tell her to just calm down and let the issue go. So I guess that makes me a quality guy?

Zinc4, I never thought about this until now....

 

[OptimumIndividual]

This isn't that complicated. Women get hormonal.

/thread

 

[Duracell_Bunny]

We have been together for 4 years, first time buying a house.

We've been renting for over a year.

Maybe she doesn't want my parents helping out and wants it all the be hers.

This happened when we moved into the rented place we are living in now. I wanted to learn basic DIY such as drilling for curtain rails, shelves, putting up blinds etc. Her parents had done it all before I even had chance.

Related to what I said in my original post, her parents are probably being over protective and not letting her go at particular things alone.

All my parents have done is shown interest and said to let them know if we want any help, my gf takes it as criticism if they point out something serious.

As for my Dad's attitude, he's not loud or bad mannered (he's holding doors open for my gf, pulling up chairs etc, very over the top offering anything when we go over.). They always insist on paying the bill, even though we say we're getting it. It's only small things like in conversation my Dad will interrupt not realising it, or sound a bit "snobbery". He's always been like that and it's something me and my mother always joke about with him.

 

[OptimumIndividual]

Do you guys hang with your parents often? If so, you may need to create some distance and total independence. Her parents doing all the DIY and stuff is a bit over-the-top. You're a couple. I love my Mom but no way would my relationships work out if she was always dining with me and hanging around.

 

[Duracell_Bunny]

Do you guys hang with your parents often? If so, you may need to create some distance and total independence. Her parents doing all the DIY and stuff is a bit over-the-top. You're a couple. I love my Mom but no way would my relationships work out if she was always dining with me and hanging around.

We barely see my parents together (about once a month), she works a nurse and has un-sociable hours. I see mine more frequently on my own

Although, we see hers A LOT more.

 

[zinc4]

Low quality insecure girl pulling a power play....tell her she can keep her mouth shut about your parents or get out of your house...

The more you let it continue the less deep down she will respect you as well....my little brother is starting to get serious with a girl like this and i wish for the life of me he would grow a pair and dump her...people should never disrespect your family unless they truly deserve it...

 

[zinc4]

Holy Sh!t. This is a revelation to me.

My ex did pick a fight with my mom in my parents house at Christmas two years ago. It was insane. This was after they brought us out for dinner and paid for the whole tab. I won't get into the dumb story, but that's why I asked the question. Part of me wanted to side with my wife (we are supposed to protect who we love) but I couldn't do it because she was clearly in the wrong.

Part two of this is whenever my ex would get into a fight with her dad at his house, I would interrupt or break up the fight and tell her to just calm down and let the issue go. So I guess that makes me a quality guy?

Zinc4, I never thought about this until now....

I have only been with one truly high quality woman my entire life and once you are with one, the others' personality and emotional flaws and overall cattiness stick out like a sore thumb...99 percent of women if not more are low quality...

 

[itdude]

I think your GF is out of line. She is keeping score on who spent the most over XMAS on her. That is not very fair.

The relationship should be 50/50 and to me it seems there is something that bugs her and she should come out and say it.

 

[buzzin_frog]

She is using this "parents things" as an excuse to start drama and to create a fight with you.

Chicks do this when they are looking for a way out of the relationship....they will find any excuse they can to start fights and drama....which leads to disrespecting the man....they use an excuse to as why they can no longer be with you...she will use the "parents thing" against you....no matter what to try to say or do, you will always be in the wrong according to her.

This is what she is doing to you now

She disrespected you and your parents with her bvllsh!t attitude.....are you just going to shut up and accept that?

After a long LTR, you start to think about the next step which is marriage....you look for all the positive qualities before you decide to do that...she is dissing your parents now, so you can see this won't work out for you in the long run...so there is no need to carry on with this relationship any longer....it's run it's course...it's time for you to end it.

Get rid of her and find a respectful girlfriend....because it's just a matter of time before she gets rid of you!!

 

[Desdinova]

Most of the women I've been with didn't like my parents. Hell, I don't even like my parents much. When you notice the pattern and figure out the common denominator, that's how you should make your decision.

If most of your gfs don't like your parents, then your parents are the problem. If most of your gfs like your parents and only one doesn't, then it's your gf who's the problem.

I'm personally wary of any woman who likes my parents. I had one that did, and getting rid of her was the best decision I ever made. She was trying to get my dad to side with her on the issue of getting married and having kids. When my dad told me this, I kicked her out of my life.