PrettyBoyAJ
Master Don Juan
When you find your real wife you would be willing to move with her. This girl juat wasnt it.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
LTR, gf was detained and deported.
- Thread starter shizz702
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I respect this comment and agree with it to a degree. But the thing is whether you think one is "the one" or not, women are a gamble. And while I do believe I would be content spending my life with this girl, I just can't put all my eggs in this basket under these circumstances. Moving to Mexico just is not practical.PrettyBoyAJ said:
PrettyBoyAJ
Master Don Juan
Exactly. You summed it up yourself.
sexyfaceme
Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2011
- Messages
- 47
- Reaction score
- 1
This is romantic man! Seriously! Play hank moody.
sorry to hear that dude
i just had similar experience with overseas girlfriend apart from her being deported
we had to marry in short space of time otherwise she would get kicked out country
marriage was a huge step in such a small space of time but i really loved her too
basically due to so much pressure over it we ended up breaking up and she went home..
dam its tough especially when you love each other so much
best way to stay positive is to reaslise deep down how hard overseas romances are. they will be completely dependent on you without there families here that causes huge amount of pressure. was she close to her family ?
i just had similar experience with overseas girlfriend apart from her being deported
we had to marry in short space of time otherwise she would get kicked out country
marriage was a huge step in such a small space of time but i really loved her too
basically due to so much pressure over it we ended up breaking up and she went home..
dam its tough especially when you love each other so much
best way to stay positive is to reaslise deep down how hard overseas romances are. they will be completely dependent on you without there families here that causes huge amount of pressure. was she close to her family ?
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Hey man thanks and sorry for your loss as well.HeMan said:
The thing with us was marriage was no longer even an option when this went down. It was simply too late. Unbeknownst to me apparently her and her family were given a voluntary deportation that they neglected to abide by, and that's why she was given this order of deportation.
The immigration laws are so harsh and strict right now, that the more I read into this the more I realized how hopeless it was. Marriage, having a kid in the States, any of that, means nothing these days if entered illegally or deported.
Talking to her on the phone did nothing but increase the pain for both of us, and shortly we realized we were just pipe dreaming about me moving there and what not.
Bottom line I've learned is getting involved with someone in a situation like this is just asking for problems and heart ache, it ain't worth it.
MyTeamSupreme
Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2009
- Messages
- 113
- Reaction score
- 3
if you knew she wasnt a citizen why were you dragging your feet to marry her
Well at this point I'm glad I didn't cause at the time I wasn't aware of these harsh immigration laws. Even if I would have she STILL would have to go back to Mexico and wait 10 years before legally being able to reenter.MyTeamSupreme said:
Anyone that enters illegally and overstays a voluntary deportation gets hit with a 10 year ban, regardless of marriage or kids. They don't play that anymore.
They have cracked down on these laws so much that it just would not have been worth it, nor is it worth pursuing any further.
Well we have been keeping in touch and talking on the phone daily.
Where it stands now she says her mom is going to move back there with her and acquired a nice bit of money selling their cars and assets, and they plan on buying a house in a beach area down there.
She wants me to move there with them, and said no worries on me working or anything, that she would take care of me and her family is totally cool with me living with them. On top of that she even said if for some reason it weren't to work out she wouldn't leave me hanging and break me off with a nice chunk of change for my troubles. I know to judge a woman by actions and not words, but knowing her I know she is a woman of her word. She also said we could get married asap as soon as I get there.
I am still not sure and am weighing my options. We pretty much agreed that we will give it some time and if 6 months from now or so if we are still unhappy and want to be together we may consider me moving down there. But before making a bold move like that I have got to give it some time. We will see.
I think I am going to put in for some vacation time and see her in the summer as well and see how she is doing, and what I would be getting myself into.
Where it stands now she says her mom is going to move back there with her and acquired a nice bit of money selling their cars and assets, and they plan on buying a house in a beach area down there.
She wants me to move there with them, and said no worries on me working or anything, that she would take care of me and her family is totally cool with me living with them. On top of that she even said if for some reason it weren't to work out she wouldn't leave me hanging and break me off with a nice chunk of change for my troubles. I know to judge a woman by actions and not words, but knowing her I know she is a woman of her word. She also said we could get married asap as soon as I get there.
I am still not sure and am weighing my options. We pretty much agreed that we will give it some time and if 6 months from now or so if we are still unhappy and want to be together we may consider me moving down there. But before making a bold move like that I have got to give it some time. We will see.
I think I am going to put in for some vacation time and see her in the summer as well and see how she is doing, and what I would be getting myself into.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.