Spirit Fingers
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 6, 2005
- Messages
- 159
- Reaction score
- 4
Really excited about this one, because I've finally found my perfect day2.
Keys to the Lay:
1. Approaching without hesitation -- plowing confidently through initial resistance.
2. Dominant frames -- establishing the meta-frame that I am the prize, and that she is out to win me.
3. Tight phone game.
4. Recovering from a bad initial day2.
5. Tight day3 -- cooking at my house, with built-in isolation.
6. Isolating and escalating with no hesitation, building rapport after kiss.
7. Overcoming LMR with Woodhaven's LMR tech with a gentle C&F slant -- verbally pacing her while escalating physically.
Initial Approach:
I’m grabbing some food with my boy, and he’s telling me how he’s needs to start meeting more girls, because he’s hooked up with like one girl all year. He’s like hey dude, we should just go sit down with some random girls right here and start talking, half-kiddingly. Little does he know that I’ve spent a year doing this ****
. So I’m like, alright, let’s go, and I get up.
He follows me – I look for a two-set, but the place is pretty empty and there’s none that are good. We decide to approach two girls eating alone individually – probably better for me anyways, since he was very little experience with daytime cold approaches and would probably **** it up.
I pick out a cute lil’ Asian girl, and I approach her with the available chair opener. “Hey…is this seat taken?” BL facing the chair, not her. She’s like “nooo…” kind of confused because there’s like about 1000 empty chairs right near us. I’m like cool, and I sit down. She’s still looking confused, so to give my opener context I make it direct. “I saw you eating here, and I thought you looked cute so I came to talk to you.” She smiles, and thanks me.
It’s the tentative acceptance you get a lot of the time with direct openers – where the girl is surprised, and is also testing to see whether you’re for real, or if that was just a line. I confidently plow through the first few minutes with light material, and she opens up beautifully.
My friend meanwhile approaches a girl a few tables away. I can see him out of the corner of my eye. He gets blown out in like thirty seconds because he’s nervous and asks too many AFC questions. Too bad, because he’s a really cool guy who I think has the potential to become really attractive.
But anyways, back to my girl. She’s very dominant – talks loudly and has a very strong sense of herself. With these types of girls, it’s important to be even more dominant – focus on that over rapport, especially at first. It’s very rare that she can find a guy who can own the frame on her, so when she does find that guy she’ll be all over him (this is how I got my primary girlfriend now).
I playfully tease her for a little while, and I do some cold reads. I ask her what she did last weekend, she said she went to a few parties and clubs. I’m like “really…you don’t really look like a party girl” (neg). I find cold read negs like this work better than appearance based negs like the “nice nails…are they real” neg. With cold read negs, she has more of a chance to qualify herself to you. Also, you can soften it more if it turns out to be uncalibrated.
Transition into some light screening to make it solid (can you dance? Are you a balanced person?). #close with “Hey, we should hang out sometime.” I like this because it is a direct way of closing, you’re not giving her an activity that she can possibly object to, you are only giving her the choice of accepting or rejecting you. Grab digits, give her mine, and peace out.
Phone game:
I call her up the next day. My first call is usually to establish contact and allow her to get a more solid sense of my value. Unless I’m really feeling it, I wait to get a day2 to the second call or later.
I call her up, and she’s very enthusiastic about the conversation right away. It’s very high-energy – we’re both laughing, I’m teasing her a lot. The key to making this conversation good was establishing dominant frames, usually with humor. I’ve just read Swinggcat’s ebook, and he has some very good info on how to establish dominant frames there, so I’ve been applying his stuff with success.
An example from the convo:
HB: I was at this party the other day, and I had like three drinks. Then I felt really weird…I think the guys at the party put something in my drink… (trying to set the frame that she’s the prize, and that guys will go to any lengths to have sex with her).
Spirit Fingers: Really….that’s nuts dude. Yeah, drunk guys can be pretty bad sometimes (pacing her reality). But I think girls are way worse. Like, I’m always trying to find a girl who appreciates me for my personality…but girls always just see me as just a piece of ass. Really, it’s terrible. Why can’t girls appreciate the inner beauty like guys? Why?!?!
HB: (laughs, which cues that she’s accepted my frame).
Spirit Fingers: (playfully) Hey! This is a very serious problem for me! You’re not like that, are you? (amplifying the frame that girls want sex with me more than I want it with them with screening).
HB: No actually I’m not like that because…(qualifies herself).
It was going so well I was about to go for a day2 right then, but unfortunately my phone battery dies. I when I get it charged again, I’ve got a message from her “Uh…you called me, and then you just hung up on me…so call me back or don’t call me back, I don’t care either way (verbalizing high value).” My frame isn’t shaken by this because I know that the only reason why someone would leave a message like that is because they do care, and are trying to DHV by telling the other person that they don’t.
I call her back, and talk again for about 30 min, same deal as before. I get a day2 to meet me at the student union, my usual day2.
The day2:
I meet her at the student union, and eat dinner with her. Then, we go downstairs to play pool/ping-pong. I get a little bit of light kino in. It’s going fairly well. Then I get a call from my friend, asking if I want to go play volleyball with him and this girl. I think this is a good idea, so I tell him that I’ll meet him at the house.
We walk all the way to my street, then I realize…****. One of my girlfriends slept over last night, and she has a tendency to just kind of camp out at my house for days at a time. So I call my friend, and ask him if she’s there. She is. ****.
About 100 feet in front of my house, I have to turn around and start walking back to the gym. This ****s up my isolation plans – she’s going to be less comfortable heading back to my house after, and not only that, my gf will probably still be there. She asks why we’re going back, and I give her some weird answer. This shakes my frame a little, because things are starting to go wrong.
We go to the gym, and play basketball while we’re waiting for them. My friend never ends up showing up, so we’re just chillin in the gym for an hour and a half. I call him like six times, and he never picks up the phone. This was bad handling of logistics on my part. Basketball kind of stales out after a while, and it’s hard to escalate kino in a gym with lots of people around. I’m just like, **** it, I’ll try again for another date with better logistics, and I tell her I have to go. I give her a peck on the cheek, then I go home and **** my gf.
Day3:
She calls me back a few days later, wanting to hang out again. I’d been talking to Dimitri on the phone about how nighttime day2s always worked out better for me than daytime day2’s and he gave me a great suggestion: Invite the girl over to your house to cook a meal. This sounds good to me – built-in isolation, and plus I like to cook. So I tell her I’m going to cook Korean food tomorrow, and she should come and cook some Chinese food for me…she’s down.
We meet at this Asian supermarket near my house. She’s thoroughly Americanized, but still knows a little about Asian food. I verbalize low value and tell her I’m fake Asian, and I don’t really know about Asian culture and ****. She’s going to have to be my tour guide and tell me about all the cool Asian stuff (setting a frame where she’s doing something for me for free).
Keys to the Lay:
1. Approaching without hesitation -- plowing confidently through initial resistance.
2. Dominant frames -- establishing the meta-frame that I am the prize, and that she is out to win me.
3. Tight phone game.
4. Recovering from a bad initial day2.
5. Tight day3 -- cooking at my house, with built-in isolation.
6. Isolating and escalating with no hesitation, building rapport after kiss.
7. Overcoming LMR with Woodhaven's LMR tech with a gentle C&F slant -- verbally pacing her while escalating physically.
Initial Approach:
I’m grabbing some food with my boy, and he’s telling me how he’s needs to start meeting more girls, because he’s hooked up with like one girl all year. He’s like hey dude, we should just go sit down with some random girls right here and start talking, half-kiddingly. Little does he know that I’ve spent a year doing this ****
. So I’m like, alright, let’s go, and I get up.He follows me – I look for a two-set, but the place is pretty empty and there’s none that are good. We decide to approach two girls eating alone individually – probably better for me anyways, since he was very little experience with daytime cold approaches and would probably **** it up.
I pick out a cute lil’ Asian girl, and I approach her with the available chair opener. “Hey…is this seat taken?” BL facing the chair, not her. She’s like “nooo…” kind of confused because there’s like about 1000 empty chairs right near us. I’m like cool, and I sit down. She’s still looking confused, so to give my opener context I make it direct. “I saw you eating here, and I thought you looked cute so I came to talk to you.” She smiles, and thanks me.
It’s the tentative acceptance you get a lot of the time with direct openers – where the girl is surprised, and is also testing to see whether you’re for real, or if that was just a line. I confidently plow through the first few minutes with light material, and she opens up beautifully.
My friend meanwhile approaches a girl a few tables away. I can see him out of the corner of my eye. He gets blown out in like thirty seconds because he’s nervous and asks too many AFC questions. Too bad, because he’s a really cool guy who I think has the potential to become really attractive.
But anyways, back to my girl. She’s very dominant – talks loudly and has a very strong sense of herself. With these types of girls, it’s important to be even more dominant – focus on that over rapport, especially at first. It’s very rare that she can find a guy who can own the frame on her, so when she does find that guy she’ll be all over him (this is how I got my primary girlfriend now).
I playfully tease her for a little while, and I do some cold reads. I ask her what she did last weekend, she said she went to a few parties and clubs. I’m like “really…you don’t really look like a party girl” (neg). I find cold read negs like this work better than appearance based negs like the “nice nails…are they real” neg. With cold read negs, she has more of a chance to qualify herself to you. Also, you can soften it more if it turns out to be uncalibrated.
Transition into some light screening to make it solid (can you dance? Are you a balanced person?). #close with “Hey, we should hang out sometime.” I like this because it is a direct way of closing, you’re not giving her an activity that she can possibly object to, you are only giving her the choice of accepting or rejecting you. Grab digits, give her mine, and peace out.
Phone game:
I call her up the next day. My first call is usually to establish contact and allow her to get a more solid sense of my value. Unless I’m really feeling it, I wait to get a day2 to the second call or later.
I call her up, and she’s very enthusiastic about the conversation right away. It’s very high-energy – we’re both laughing, I’m teasing her a lot. The key to making this conversation good was establishing dominant frames, usually with humor. I’ve just read Swinggcat’s ebook, and he has some very good info on how to establish dominant frames there, so I’ve been applying his stuff with success.
An example from the convo:
HB: I was at this party the other day, and I had like three drinks. Then I felt really weird…I think the guys at the party put something in my drink… (trying to set the frame that she’s the prize, and that guys will go to any lengths to have sex with her).
Spirit Fingers: Really….that’s nuts dude. Yeah, drunk guys can be pretty bad sometimes (pacing her reality). But I think girls are way worse. Like, I’m always trying to find a girl who appreciates me for my personality…but girls always just see me as just a piece of ass. Really, it’s terrible. Why can’t girls appreciate the inner beauty like guys? Why?!?!
HB: (laughs, which cues that she’s accepted my frame).
Spirit Fingers: (playfully) Hey! This is a very serious problem for me! You’re not like that, are you? (amplifying the frame that girls want sex with me more than I want it with them with screening).
HB: No actually I’m not like that because…(qualifies herself).
It was going so well I was about to go for a day2 right then, but unfortunately my phone battery dies. I when I get it charged again, I’ve got a message from her “Uh…you called me, and then you just hung up on me…so call me back or don’t call me back, I don’t care either way (verbalizing high value).” My frame isn’t shaken by this because I know that the only reason why someone would leave a message like that is because they do care, and are trying to DHV by telling the other person that they don’t.
I call her back, and talk again for about 30 min, same deal as before. I get a day2 to meet me at the student union, my usual day2.
The day2:
I meet her at the student union, and eat dinner with her. Then, we go downstairs to play pool/ping-pong. I get a little bit of light kino in. It’s going fairly well. Then I get a call from my friend, asking if I want to go play volleyball with him and this girl. I think this is a good idea, so I tell him that I’ll meet him at the house.
We walk all the way to my street, then I realize…****. One of my girlfriends slept over last night, and she has a tendency to just kind of camp out at my house for days at a time. So I call my friend, and ask him if she’s there. She is. ****.
About 100 feet in front of my house, I have to turn around and start walking back to the gym. This ****s up my isolation plans – she’s going to be less comfortable heading back to my house after, and not only that, my gf will probably still be there. She asks why we’re going back, and I give her some weird answer. This shakes my frame a little, because things are starting to go wrong.
We go to the gym, and play basketball while we’re waiting for them. My friend never ends up showing up, so we’re just chillin in the gym for an hour and a half. I call him like six times, and he never picks up the phone. This was bad handling of logistics on my part. Basketball kind of stales out after a while, and it’s hard to escalate kino in a gym with lots of people around. I’m just like, **** it, I’ll try again for another date with better logistics, and I tell her I have to go. I give her a peck on the cheek, then I go home and **** my gf.
Day3:
She calls me back a few days later, wanting to hang out again. I’d been talking to Dimitri on the phone about how nighttime day2s always worked out better for me than daytime day2’s and he gave me a great suggestion: Invite the girl over to your house to cook a meal. This sounds good to me – built-in isolation, and plus I like to cook. So I tell her I’m going to cook Korean food tomorrow, and she should come and cook some Chinese food for me…she’s down.
We meet at this Asian supermarket near my house. She’s thoroughly Americanized, but still knows a little about Asian food. I verbalize low value and tell her I’m fake Asian, and I don’t really know about Asian culture and ****. She’s going to have to be my tour guide and tell me about all the cool Asian stuff (setting a frame where she’s doing something for me for free).