Clockwerk50
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2023
- Messages
- 1,264
- Reaction score
- 965
- Age
- 40
I mean to write something back but I got busy.Alright, update for the 38-year-old.
My gut reaction that she was a little crazy seems to have been correct.
In the time since we slept together, she had been in contact with me daily, all throughout the day. It became quite exhausting; she would text me multiple times in a row with big walls of descriptions about random facets of her day and asking my opinions on just about everything in an effort to get to know me better. She would sprinkle sexual innuendos and talk about wanting to see me, but the way she did it was annoying - she would tease or try to arouse me, but do it in a cutesy way. I don't know how else I would describe it, but she would talk about "wanting to ride me and feel me inside her", but then would kill the sensuality of it by following it up with something like "I bet you'd like that big papi tehehe"
I think I just found it immature - talking to somebody older than me who talked about sex like they didn't know what it really was, just kinda irritated me. I remember one line where she was talking about how she "wanted me to f*** her and c*m all over her chest"...but then followed by that up adding "then I'm gonna wipe your own c*m across your head like Simba."
...
...yeah, she said that. I read that for the first time and thought "what the f*** is this?" And told her not a damn soul is gonna take my own c*m and wipe it across my head. She assured me she was just joking.
The conversation where I started to really have apprehensions about her was when she was describing a bunch of stressors in her life, and mentioned needing a financial planner. Knowing she was very well-off financially, I made the comment that it sounds like she would need somebody to help manage her stress rather than somebody to manage her finances. She became disappointed and said that I'm "incapable of understanding what she's talking about, and that's ok, and that we could change the topic", something along those lines. I told her I didn't understand what she wanted from me; if I don't respond often, she thinks I'm low interest, but if I do respond, she tells me I don't know what I'm talking about and just serve as a wall.
She responds with 2 separate audio messages, each about 3 minutes long, apologizing and explaining herself.
At this point, I start to distance myself.
She notices and brings it up several days later when I'm much less responsive, and I finally crack and explain to her that I'm concerned about her level of attachment this early on. I tell her I see parallels with my ex, and that this feels very much the same, giving her examples: the dysfunctional family, being an older and more wealthy single woman, having a Latina background, and using that to justify "passion" both good and bad. I'm basically worried about how crazy she is, but I don't say exactly that - yet.
She thinks I'm being defensive because I'm "used to women throwing themselves at me" and haven't met somebody who doesn't have ulterior motives or "an agenda" for me, and that if I "can't handle a Latina, just say that", etc.
I tell her that this conversation is too involved for what this is supposed to be, and that I'm going to bed. And I stop responding for several days, maybe a week.
This last weekend, I saw an Instagram story of her partying out in Trolley Square, which is nearby to me. I commented, saying I was surprised to see her this far north, and that next time she's in the neighborhood, if she lets me know, I'd come see her.
She responds with a long audio message from the perspective of her and her roommate talking about me and why I'm messaging her if I haven't been trying to see her. Calling me a f*** boy, saying women probably just throw themselves at me, saying that I'm just playing with her emotions, etc.
For some background context, she ended up following one of my friends that I go to the gym with, and was flirting with him in DMs. This showed me that he's a man of low integrity, but that's for another time. He asked me about her, and my gut reaction was that she's got some ulterior motive; maybe she's fishing for information about what I'm up to, maybe she's trying to get me jealous, I don't know - but it feels weird.
She also has another attractive friend whom I've known since high school. We have a tentative date for next week when she returns from vacation. I did not know they were close, but 101 saw that I follow her on Instagram, and I guess talked her out of seeing me or something.
Anyway, the conversation continues about her saying she gave me space, asking what I wanted, telling me to just let my guard down, and I'm responding that this all feels so weird, the lengths that she's going to have me see her stories, follow my friends, etc.
I went to bed and woke up for a message from her in the morning about how she "clocked exactly when you added her (the other girl) since Instagram tells you mutual friends". She went on to say she thought maybe I was trying to hook my friend up with her, while talking her out of meeting me and having her unfollow me, and even thought maybe it had something to do with my brother because he also was following that other girl (I know this is confusing), before telling me I "fumbled her".
I responded that I had taken a step back because I was worried that she might be a little crazy, and that last night's conversation and this text I woke up to confirmed that. I then blocked her on everything.
So yeah, that's that.
Let this be a lesson: when men show neediness, selfishness, or insecurity, they usually get ghosted. But here, it’s the woman making those mistakes, and OP is the one pulling away.
Basically, a couple of things: When OP reached out, she didn’t flirt or stay light, she lashed out, made it about her feelings, and accused him of game-playing. That kind of reactive energy is anti-seductive. Instead of being mysterious or inviting, it makes the other person feel cornered. Seduction relies on emotional control, and reactivity signals the opposite.
Another thing was that her timing was off. She’d go from sex talk to cringe jokes, killing the mood. It wasn’t playful; it was tasteless and tone-deaf. Instead of reading the moment, she made it about her own amusement. Seduction needs subtlety, and this was just awkward and self-absorbed.
Lastly, when OP pulled back, she doubled down: insults, guilt-trips, trying to prove she was “too much” for him. This aggressive push is the opposite of allure. It’s the brute force of someone demanding attention instead of inspiring it. There’s no softness, no finesse, just ****ing pressure. And that doesn’t seduce, it overwhelms and repels.
What made it all deeply anti-seductive was her inability to see the situation through OP’s eyes. She wasn’t tuned into his tastes, his rhythm, or his reactions, it was all about her needs, her anxieties, her expectations. That level of self-absorption shuts down any possibility to keep the other person coming back, since after all, it is not “fun” nor “pleasurable”.