Loyalty vs Spinning plates

[FruitLoops]

So, i now understand that spinning plates is important from various aspects. It helps you not sulk if one of the girls leaves you and it helps ypu vet for potential mates.
But what i want to know, especially from ones who are spinning plates, isnt this a type of cheating on your partner.
I am exclusively dating my partner. My girl asked in initially if i needed this to be exclusive dating and i ended up saying yes to this. Now my partner is slowly losing her interest. Instead of immediatly cutting her off, i am thinking of spinning some plates and look for other potentials mates. But i feel like being disloyal in this relation. Although it is a casual relation and nothing serious, but it is exclusive. Also, i am afraid of being caught.
Should i still spin plates? How should i convince myself that it is essential.

 

[corrector]

Just break-up with her.

 

[FruitLoops]

Just break-up with her.

Thats not what i am asking for.

 

[zekko]

Thats not what i am asking for.

It is an answer. I think he's saying that if you're going to cheat on her anyway, do it the right way and break up with her. Then you can spin plates to your hearts content. But I don't really understand this relationship in the first place: Why would you be exclusive with a casual relationship?

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

I have three questions for the OP.

1. What did she find attractive at first and where has that attribute or attributes gone?

2. Why are you exclusive if this is a casual thing?

3. Are you wanting to spin plates because she is losing interest or because you want more options? Your intent/motivation will tell you a great deal.

 

[Julian]

Lie to her and spin plates behind her back and when she finds out be honest tell her ***** azz its cuz she was losing interest and u dont play that sht!

 

[FruitLoops]

Advice from the old lady:

I have three questions for the OP.

1. What did she find attractive at first and where has that attribute or attributes gone?

2. Why are you exclusive if this is a casual thing?

3. Are you wanting to spin plates because she is losing interest or because you want more options? Your intent/motivation will tell you a great deal.

1. Initially she use to say that i was mysterious and it made her like me more. These were her actual words. Maybe it was cause i kept texting to minimum. She didnt know me so well. So she would always text me and call me over at her place. To which i would reply and would visit her twice a week. Nowadays we visit like once in two weeks.
2. When i said casual i meant not getting too attached to each other. It was a mistake on my part back then when i agreed to exclusive relation. What happended was i told her on our first date that i was looking for causal dating. We both knew that this relation didnt have any long term future and we were both in it for fun. I didnt think much about being exclusive or non exclusive. Neither wad this subject brought up. Eventually once over text she brought up this subject and asked if i wanted to be exclusive with her, to which i ended up agreeing.
3. I want to spin plates cause she is losing interest in me and i feel it is heading towards a breakup, so i want to be ready. I dont want to end up sulking. So i want to find another plate to spin and leave this girl behind.[/QUOTE]

 

[Mazer]

You want to get a firm hold on one before you let the other one go. I only thought women do this. Lol. Monkey branch if you desire but work on yourself so the next time you want to drop a woman for any reason, you don’t need an immediate backup to do it. What happens if your gf cheats on you, or disrespects you, would you wait to find her replacement before you dump her? No, you drop her immediately and spend more time on things you enjoy until you find the next one. Good luck!

 

[FruitLoops]

You want to get a firm hold on one before you let the other one go. I only thought women do this. Lol. Monkey branch if you desire but work on yourself so the next time you want to drop a woman for any reason, you don’t need an immediate backup to do it. What happens if your gf cheats on you, or disrespects you, would you wait to find her replacement before you dump her? No, you drop her immediately and spend more time on things you enjoy until you find the next one. Good luck!

Its just a food for thought. Cause i have a feeling that this relation might be heading towards a breakup. So i am thinking of dumping the girl and monkey branching.

 

[zekko]

Initially she use to say that i was mysterious and it made her like me more.

Interesting, but who the heck talks like this? "You're mysterious, it makes me like you more". Wtf?

 

[FruitLoops]

Interesting, but who the heck talks like this? "You're mysterious, it makes me like you more". Wtf?

Women!! right!! Cant help it.

 

[corrector]

Thats not what i am asking for.

Are you worried you'll turn nearcel/incel with a 10 year long dry-spell if you break-up with her? If you can spin-plates then it doesn't sound like that. What are you worried about then? Why would you want to be with a girl where you have to cheat on her to increase her interest level? You think that's a healthy set-up?

 

[FruitLoops]

Are you worried you'll turn nearcel/incel with a 10 year long dry-spell if you break-up with her? If you can spin-plates then it doesn't sound like that. What are you worried about then? Why would you want to be with a girl where you have to cheat on her to increase her interest level? You think that's a healthy set-up?

I am not going to cheat to increase her interest level. Thats not why i want to start looking for ither options. I can feel that the relation is heading towards a breakup. And from my past experience, the breakups have always left me feeling bad $hitty about myself. I just want to avoid that situation for myself. Hence i am thinking of finding another girl before this relation ends.

 

[corrector]

I am not going to cheat to increase her interest level. Thats not why i want to start looking for ither options. I can feel that the relation is heading towards a breakup. And from my past experience, the breakups have always left me feeling bad $hitty about myself. I just want to avoid that situation for myself. Hence i am thinking of finding another girl before this relation ends.

You sound nearcel then and are operating from a scarcity mindset. What will happen if you are unsuccessful in finding another girl before this break-up happens? Would that not feel worst because that will give you two reasons to feel bad and sh1tty about yourself rather than one?

 

[dude99]

So, i now understand that spinning plates is important from various aspects. It helps you not sulk if one of the girls leaves you and it helps ypu vet for potential mates.
But what i want to know, especially from ones who are spinning plates, isnt this a type of cheating on your partner.
I am exclusively dating my partner. My girl asked in initially if i needed this to be exclusive dating and i ended up saying yes to this. Now my partner is slowly losing her interest. Instead of immediatly cutting her off, i am thinking of spinning some plates and look for other potentials mates. But i feel like being disloyal in this relation. Although it is a casual relation and nothing serious, but it is exclusive. Also, i am afraid of being caught.
Should i still spin plates? How should i convince myself that it is essential.

You established that it is esclusilve. She asked if it was and you said it is, so yes you would be cheating.

However her losing interest is bad and if you have gifted her with being exclusive and she is rewarding you with waning interest, then nexting her would be the right thing to do.

 

[Alvafe]

I am not going to cheat to increase her interest level. Thats not why i want to start looking for ither options. I can feel that the relation is heading towards a breakup. And from my past experience, the breakups have always left me feeling bad $hitty about myself. I just want to avoid that situation for myself. Hence i am thinking of finding another girl before this relation ends.

her eis the deal spinning plates is something you do before you commit, after you commit, that would bring more problems then anything, you can make her wonder, and that makes things better, she is not sure, and hence why the mistery she had on you was enticing, possible now you break this up, you are a open book and there is no mystery anymore, hence why she is questioning if you was the real deal.


also the one saying to break up with her, is a nice way to keep your power, you know she will break up with you or there are heavy chances of such, you notice her lower IL, and thing was not as good was before, so you break up with her first, and not let her time to search for a replacement, or fully break up with you in her mind, that would put her in overdrive, but in doing so you should never go back to her the moment you did she will feel cold again


so I say break up with her NOW, then start to date around spinning plates, having fun

 

[djreez88]

her eis the deal spinning plates is something you do before you commit, after you commit, that would bring more problems then anything, you can make her wonder, and that makes things better, she is not sure, and hence why the mistery she had on you was enticing, possible now you break this up, you are a open book and there is no mystery anymore, hence why she is questioning if you was the real deal.


also the one saying to break up with her, is a nice way to keep your power, you know she will break up with you or there are heavy chances of such, you notice her lower IL, and thing was not as good was before, so you break up with her first, and not let her time to search for a replacement, or fully break up with you in her mind, that would put her in overdrive, but in doing so you should never go back to her the moment you did she will feel cold again


so I say break up with her NOW, then start to date around spinning plates, having fun

Exactly. I've had to do the same myself this year. The only way to keep your respect with her really other than creating distance would be to break up. He's already stated that he only sees her once every 2 weeks so the first option definitely won't work. The 2 week thing most likely is the reason for the lost interest.

 

[FruitLoops]

Exactly. I've had to do the same myself this year. The only way to keep your respect with her really other than creating distance would be to break up. He's already stated that he only sees her once every 2 weeks so the first option definitely won't work. The 2 week thing most likely is the reason for the lost interest.

I just ended up the relation with her. I understand it would have been cheating on my part if i started seeing someone else while being in exclusive relation with her. So yeah, i broke up with her.

 

[ubercat]

+1 Alvafe

Don't cheat but be around less let her mind do the work. get super ripped at the gym if you can't think of anything else

 

[Alvafe]

+1 Alvafe

Don't cheat but be around less let her mind do the work. get super ripped at the gym if you can't think of anything else

meh gym is something you should do for yourself, yes it do help you get ladies, yes even if no damn ripped, the extra strenght and stamina can be a surprising act you do with her, be at sex or normally around, I remember I had one woman, when I simple pulled her in bed agaisnt me using my strenght she did get more into, I could notice she was not used to a man pulling her body around without a issue

but thing is its more important you find something you like then just going for the gym, in doing so you can keep your mind into it more often