low self esteem? am I a Nice Guy?

[Andress]

I have girlfriend of 7 months, I see she lets members of her family let them walk all over her ... I don't see her imposing respect at any cost ...which is in my mind fundamental .... I was talking to her today on the telephone and her brother interrupted us several times in spite of the fact that she said to him "wait I'll be off the phone in a minute" she said "can we still talk cause my brother won't let me in peace" ... after a while the brother picked up the phone ans started to breath very hard so we would cut our conversation ... .... I felt sick to that ... she didn't do anything ... I just said "can I call you up later?"

I think that if she doesn't impose respect at any cost in her family .... I am going to be in a relationship in which I will have to go this on and on .... 'cuz if in the future she doesn't see her brother anymore there will be another person in her life not respecting her ....

I just cannot see the situation clear....

I will love you input guys THANKS

I was a nice guys in my childhood, I feel I am recovering, have followed counsel of Doc Love concerning women, David DeAngelo, Dennis Neder and several others ....
and this site of course

 

[Andress]

Her parents split up 'cuz her father is so insecure of himself that he cannot stand that his wife is having more monet at the end of the week ... =chauvinistic man ....
the father had a very comfortable situation economically speaking and he lost that ....
her dad yelled at her own wife in the past, he makes scenes when their children are not in bed at 9 pm...all those are things that she had tell me about her past.
her brother hitted her in the past when she tried to get respect from him.....and now on and off he shows a lot of disrespect and interrupts phone calls whenever he's in the mood.

her brother treats me well her mother and father also... but their faking their attitude towards me.... what I am concerned is that ... many people say "it takes two to tango" but those types of situations are pretty anoying to our relationship.

eventhough I was about to go to her house and kick his ass .... she said don't do it because many people in my family like relatives and granmothers have tried to make him treat me better ... all I have gotten is that my brother treats me worse after that....

 

[Andress]

the brother
when I am there everything is allright ...if not ...they treat each other like garbage ..... she studies architecture and she is only concerned in getting out of her house .... what i am concerned is ... is she with me 'cuz i am like a drug to her? ... to avoid her situation at home? ...

to me her brother is not worth a handshake neither a smile nor greeting or anything ... unless he comes to me face to face and apologise what he did to me.... I am not gonna speek to him anymore... unless he gives me a nice apology....

honestly speaking I am losing interest in her 'cuz of all this and more ....

and I came to this board 'cuz I got the book a few dyas ago .. and with what I have written so far "Nice Guys tend to keep relationships where they have to fix or polish something"

please help .... any input is great ....REALLY don't know if I am overanalysing or not....

THANKS A LOT

 

[Andress]

I do demand respect and they give it to me ...but as far as 7 months go ...I am feeling that she hasn't the character nor the attitude to be b1tchy and be tough enough towards her family ...so we both don't get respect ... she is the one to handle the relationship in her enviroment and I am the one in my house.....

I feel that our relationship is going downhill 'cuz of her family ... well may be just my feelings are going

what would you do ? what would you do with her brother ?

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Quit talking yo her on the phone and see her alone at your place or somewhere else! Many girls look to a guy to help them escape their situation at home!

Try to get to know her better - her values, her character etc., and determine if she is worth the effort.

She can't control her brother or dad, so quit asking her to. This is an non-issue!

This has nothing to do with you being nice, it has to do with your tolerance level of how much you can take from her family problems!

 

[Andress]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
Quit talking yo her on the phone and see her alone at your place or somewhere else! Many girls look to a guy to help them escape their situation at home!

Try to get to know her better - her values, her character etc., and determine if she is worth the effort.

She can't control her brother or dad, so quit asking her to. This is an non-issue!

This has nothing to do with you being nice, it has to do with your tolerance level of how much you can take from her family problems!

I have been thinking of breaking up .... but many say to me .. "it takes two to tango"