I know the number #1 rule of SoSauve is Action - Ask her out! But in my circumstance I won't. I am stuck in a relationship, along with social circles and a small town, make asking her out a high risk proposition. I won't go into details about those. What I am curious about, do you think this girl low-interest or shy. I need help reading her.
She knows I am in a relationship. She has shown high interest in the past. I would catch her looking at me and she holds eye contact and smiles. Almost 100% of the time when she was around. It is not as consistent as it was in the past but I still catch her sometimes. Signs of low interest is that she never initiates, never uses my name, and doesn't ask personal questions. She is Asian, so I don't know if culture plays into it at all. I am North American. English is her second language but she speaks it very well.
Here is a summary of the last day we interacted. Already at this time, I had been growing tired of whatever we had or didn't have. I am not in a position to be as direct as I would have liked or should have been and I feel like she gives me mixed signals when I do push it. So it has been frustrating me. We both work at the same store but in different departments. It would be easy for us not to interact with each other in the course of a day/week/month. On this day, we bumped into each other said our salutations, after a pause I asked how her day was, she returned the favour. I went back to my work, she returned to shopping and left without goodbyes or see you laters.
Later I went to the lunchroom and she was there as well as several other staff spread amongst a few tables. I could have sat directly across from her, but sat at the first seat available instead at a different table, unintentionally directly in her line of sight. I added my two cents into the group discussion that was going on but certainly wasn't a main participant. A few times she asked a question that could have been answered by a few different people but she was looking directly at me, as in wanting me to answer. On one of her questions, I gave her a half-ass remark as to check back next Christmas and she playfully stuck her tongue out at me. She had been keeping eye contact during these exchanges. I noticed before that in a group setting she is a bit more extroverted towards me, as opposed to one-on-one. Instead of sticking around, I left the room when I was done eating.
At the end of the night when I was about to leave, we crossed paths again. We said hellos and I walked a few steps past her before deciding to stop and talk. She was texting before I started to talk to her and she didn't look at her phone again while we were talking. When I talk to this girl, I am usually the only one asking questions. She will answer my questions, and then volunteers more information. So she is feeding me info to keep the questions coming, which is a good sign. She has also not been shy in providing some personal info ab out herself. They are certainly not blunt one word answers that she is supplying. Although she rarely asks me questions, and even then, it is directly related to work. Almost as if she is not interested in knowing me. Her eye contact during one-on-one conversations is sporadic. She seems slightly uncomfortable one-on-one. The few conversations we have had, have all been ended by me. I said goodbye and left. I do know that I need to lighten up the conversations. There's a few smiles and laughs but the topics were still fact based and I could have teased a bit more. I have been fighting the urge to talk about myself, or make myself the topic subject, during these convos, which I have been able to do, but the next step is to add more fun and flirting, assuming I do try to talk to her again.
5-10min later as I was leaving the building, I passed by her. She was back on her phone texting. I didn't slow down, but I did say good night. She did not say anything to me, she looked up and then looked back down to her phone. I did not see any signs of recognition.
That day was over a week ago. I have not made any attempts to bump into her and made myself scarce in the meantime. I have seen her from a distance a few times and didn't make any attempt at contact. One time we made eye contact but I didn't hold it. Instead I turned and continued on my way. I want to see if she will initiate. I feel she had a couple of good chances this week but she has still not initiated. I feel like we could be standing next to each other but if I don't start asking questions, there will be no conversation. I have been tempted to make excuses to create contact a few times, but have talked myself out of it.
So do you think this girl is low/no interest, shy, or interested but cautious of a guy already in a relationship? I have been told she is shy and have seen evidence of in her interactions with others, but perhaps I am using the shy angle as cover up for low interest.
She knows I am in a relationship. She has shown high interest in the past. I would catch her looking at me and she holds eye contact and smiles. Almost 100% of the time when she was around. It is not as consistent as it was in the past but I still catch her sometimes. Signs of low interest is that she never initiates, never uses my name, and doesn't ask personal questions. She is Asian, so I don't know if culture plays into it at all. I am North American. English is her second language but she speaks it very well.
Here is a summary of the last day we interacted. Already at this time, I had been growing tired of whatever we had or didn't have. I am not in a position to be as direct as I would have liked or should have been and I feel like she gives me mixed signals when I do push it. So it has been frustrating me. We both work at the same store but in different departments. It would be easy for us not to interact with each other in the course of a day/week/month. On this day, we bumped into each other said our salutations, after a pause I asked how her day was, she returned the favour. I went back to my work, she returned to shopping and left without goodbyes or see you laters.
Later I went to the lunchroom and she was there as well as several other staff spread amongst a few tables. I could have sat directly across from her, but sat at the first seat available instead at a different table, unintentionally directly in her line of sight. I added my two cents into the group discussion that was going on but certainly wasn't a main participant. A few times she asked a question that could have been answered by a few different people but she was looking directly at me, as in wanting me to answer. On one of her questions, I gave her a half-ass remark as to check back next Christmas and she playfully stuck her tongue out at me. She had been keeping eye contact during these exchanges. I noticed before that in a group setting she is a bit more extroverted towards me, as opposed to one-on-one. Instead of sticking around, I left the room when I was done eating.
At the end of the night when I was about to leave, we crossed paths again. We said hellos and I walked a few steps past her before deciding to stop and talk. She was texting before I started to talk to her and she didn't look at her phone again while we were talking. When I talk to this girl, I am usually the only one asking questions. She will answer my questions, and then volunteers more information. So she is feeding me info to keep the questions coming, which is a good sign. She has also not been shy in providing some personal info ab out herself. They are certainly not blunt one word answers that she is supplying. Although she rarely asks me questions, and even then, it is directly related to work. Almost as if she is not interested in knowing me. Her eye contact during one-on-one conversations is sporadic. She seems slightly uncomfortable one-on-one. The few conversations we have had, have all been ended by me. I said goodbye and left. I do know that I need to lighten up the conversations. There's a few smiles and laughs but the topics were still fact based and I could have teased a bit more. I have been fighting the urge to talk about myself, or make myself the topic subject, during these convos, which I have been able to do, but the next step is to add more fun and flirting, assuming I do try to talk to her again.
5-10min later as I was leaving the building, I passed by her. She was back on her phone texting. I didn't slow down, but I did say good night. She did not say anything to me, she looked up and then looked back down to her phone. I did not see any signs of recognition.
That day was over a week ago. I have not made any attempts to bump into her and made myself scarce in the meantime. I have seen her from a distance a few times and didn't make any attempt at contact. One time we made eye contact but I didn't hold it. Instead I turned and continued on my way. I want to see if she will initiate. I feel she had a couple of good chances this week but she has still not initiated. I feel like we could be standing next to each other but if I don't start asking questions, there will be no conversation. I have been tempted to make excuses to create contact a few times, but have talked myself out of it.
So do you think this girl is low/no interest, shy, or interested but cautious of a guy already in a relationship? I have been told she is shy and have seen evidence of in her interactions with others, but perhaps I am using the shy angle as cover up for low interest.
