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Low Interest or Just Weird? You decide

JST8828

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Just following up on a plate I've been working with over the last month or so. Went out several times already, however I've always gone to her. She lives 45 minutes away from me. Due to the pandemic she's nervous about taking public transportation and meeting me what would be halfway in the city, and I kinda understood that, but that being said, it doesn't make dating easy right now, and things have now taken a bad turn to the point where I'm turned off and ready to smash the plate. As a quick summary, the first 4 dates we've had have been very good. Tons of IOI's, kino, she's invited me back to her back to hang and talk for a while, told her parents about me, told me to "think of me" tonight after I left her on the last date, etc.

So when it came time for me to finally ask her to come to MY town (and hopefully my place so we could finally, maybe have sex) I was met with weirdness. I didn't even ask her over my place flat out. I asked if she'd like to come to me this Saturday and we'll go out to a nice restaurant near here that she'd love. Her response was her telling me she's "totally booked" this weekend and how she has "halloween plans" friday AND Saturday. Alllllrighty then. Didn't know halloween was such a big thing among 30 year olds, especially during a pandemic. In any event, the real issue IMO was no counter. As in, NO counter whatsoever and then she proceeded to start texting about something completely off topic before the convo ended. This was Tuesday.

Fast forward to Thursday night and no contact since, she reached out and asked how my day was. I went by the book, not giving into her chit chattiness too much. I texted a few times before bringing up the talks of her coming here again. I talked about a new restaurant i want to check out in my area and she said send over the menu. Ok then. I said I want to take you there just let me know when you're free! She then responded saying something about how the menu looks amazing with ZERO mention of when she's free. Convo ended there. I had enough.

At this point I've decided to move on and no longer prioritize this plate at all. It is clear there is no urgency on her end to see me and certainly little to no interest in her going out of her way to come to my turf for a date. Mind you this is a girl who told me all about how she wants a serious relationship, wants kids one day, etc. I have come to the final conclusion that she either has low interest disguised as high interest when we go out as she lives in some sort of fantasy world, OR she's just plain weird and doesn't want to come to me yet for what would already be a FIFTH date, after me driving to her 4 times now. Both are equally bad imo and prove this is a girl who's definitely not serious about dating and progressing with a guy. Really a shame as I've been seeing this trend more and more these days with women in their 30's. They SAY they want a real relationship but in reality they just live in this fantasy world where they THINK they do but actually just enjoy the idea of it all while not actually doing the work and putting in any effort to progress and hanging out with their friends any chance they can get. That's what I've seen happen here.

Any thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks guys.
 
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Lookatu

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She has low interest and is an attention wh0re.

Anytime a girl doesn't wanna meet you half way with anything, it signals luke warm or low interest.

No counter scheduling = low interest

The only time you should be driving that far is if you're getting pvssy.
 

JST8828

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She has low interest and is an attention wh0re.

Anytime a girl doesn't wanna meet you half way with anything, it signals luke warm or low interest.

No counter scheduling = low interest

The only time you should be driving that far is if you're getting pvssy.
The only reason I went out of my way to go to her this much early one was because of the pandemic which I had to accept as an excuse. If it were normal times there's no way I would have done this.
 

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

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As many others here will tell you, low interest means you are too Available and need to ghost, you did the opposite and now she thinks she's got you around her finger.
 

JST8828

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means you are too Available
I disagree. We went out a few really nice times, then I asked her out to come to my neighborhood and she rejected me (no counter). Ok. Then a couple of days later she texted me and instead of feeding into her attention seeking I brought it up again rather quickly and said let me know when you're free and she didn't say anything about that in her response. This is hardly me continuing to chase her and go to her over and over saying i'm free here there everywhere let's hang again. Even after what happened Tuesday I wasn't planning on reaching out again and I plan on sticking to that same plan. If she comes to me again, I won't even bull**** back for one text. I'll simply ask again if she's ready to come here and hang.
 
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DEEZEDBRAH

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Halloween is THE most epic event for bachelors and pickup. I never drive that far for a woman.
 

JST8828

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Don't reach out to her again. If she reaches out to you say "Hey, are you free to come over to my place?"
If she responds with anything but "yes", respond "No worries, get ahold of me when you are free to do that"


That is the answer you give her each and every time. She will eventually quit contacting you, or she will come over.

Mentally? You write her off and start looking for other women to date.
Well put imo. In your opinion does it matter that on our last date we were talking about potential ideas for a small road trip date in our near future? As in she confirmed that she'd be be down for that..
 

mrgoodstuff

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Just following up on a plate I've been working with over the last month or so. Went out several times already, however I've always gone to her. She lives 45 minutes away from me. Due to the pandemic she's nervous about taking public transportation and meeting me what would be halfway in the city, and I kinda understood that, but that being said, it doesn't make dating easy right now, and things have now taken a bad turn to the point where I'm turned off and ready to smash the plate. As a quick summary, the first 4 dates we've had have been very good. Tons of IOI's, kino, she's invited me back to her back to hang and talk for a while, told her parents about me, told me to "think of me" tonight after I left her on the last date, etc.

So when it came time for me to finally ask her to come to MY town (and hopefully my place so we could finally, maybe have sex) I was met with weirdness. I didn't even ask her over my place flat out. I asked if she'd like to come to me this Saturday and we'll go out to a nice restaurant near here that she'd love. Her response was her telling me she's "totally booked" this weekend and how she has "halloween plans" friday AND Saturday. Alllllrighty then. Didn't know halloween was such a big thing among 30 year olds, especially during a pandemic. In any event, the real issue IMO was no counter. As in, NO counter whatsoever and then she proceeded to start texting about something completely off topic before the convo ended. This was Tuesday.

Fast forward to Thursday night and no contact since, she reached out and asked how my day was. I went by the book, not giving into her chit chattiness too much. I texted a few times before bringing up the talks of her coming here again. I talked about a new restaurant i want to check out in my area and she said send over the menu. Ok then. I said I want to take you there just let me know when you're free! She then responded saying something about how the menu looks amazing with ZERO mention of when she's free. Convo ended there. I had enough.

At this point I've decided to move on and no longer prioritize this plate at all. It is clear there is no urgency on her end to see me and certainly little to no interest in her going out of her way to come to my turf for a date. Mind you this is a girl who told me all about how she wants a serious relationship, wants kids one day, etc. I have come to the final conclusion that she either has low interest disguised as high interest when we go out as she lives in some sort of fantasy world, OR she's just plain weird and doesn't want to come to me yet for what would already be a FIFTH date, after me driving to her 4 times now. Both are equally bad imo and prove this is a girl who's definitely not serious about dating and progressing with a guy. Really a shame as I've been seeing this trend more and more these days with women in their 30's. They SAY they want a real relationship but in reality they just live in this fantasy world where they THINK they do but actually just enjoy the idea of it all while not actually doing the work and putting in any effort to progress and hanging out with their friends any chance they can get. That's what I've seen happen here.

Any thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks guys.
Like some grown kids. They'll be doing whatever their friends are doing.
 

SW15

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. Didn't know halloween was such a big thing among 30 year olds, especially during a pandemic.
I agree that it is a low interest.

Halloween is a big thing among 20s/30s never married, childless singles. Halloween may be a little bit more muted this year, but for the past 10-15 years as a 20/30 something, I've seen it be a big event.

Halloween at the bars in the past was a hugely overrated opportunities for getting pusssy.
 

JST8828

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She won't even put the effort in to come to your area! Do you REALLY believe she is going to put the effort into a roadtrip?

She seems to be stringing you along to keep the validation and attention coming. Keep your hopes up.

If she texts you ;
What's new?
How are you?
Ready for the roadtrip?
I miss you.
blah, blah, blah./

WHATEVER she texts you, respond "Hey, good to hear from you! I am really busy these days, when are you free to come see me?"

Pay attention to the answer. If she says anything but when she can come, delete the number and move on.
First, the theoretical road trip date idea would be me driving, I'm sure. Second and back to the main topic of her iffy-ness on coming to my area, it’s just that I’m also of the belief of a very possible alternate theory where she’s just not comfortable coming to me yet bc she knows it will likely end up back at my place and she doesn't want to deal with any pressure. She does seem like the very slow moving type. That doesn’t mean that’s a good thing at all and it’s probably just as bad if she can’t at least communicate some feelings to me but whatever
 
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