Low interest dont want to be a stalker. HELP!

[harkkam08]

I am afraid of being the guy that cant take a hint that the girl really isnt that much into you and since I have class with this girl. I'm not sure what I should.

Ive talked with her for a few months. I got the usual signs of interest and body language and flirtatiousness and talking and asking some basic questions about me.

So one day I said "I wanna go to this (place), what are you doing saturday?" and she replied "Im not doing anything" then i said "oh yeah then we should go to (place)" and she replied "we should" and later during the class I handed her my phone and told her to put her digits and she did.

However I dont call her when saturday rolls around, I wasnt in the best of moods and wanted to be by myself so I dont give her a call. I see her in class the next week and I am telling stories of parties that I went to and the guys around me are all enamored with my stories so Im DHV naturally. She is acting her normal self.

Anyway after like a week or two pass i said to myself Im like you know what would be cool if I send her a text while sitting next to her asking her to hang out with me again. So I sent her a text saying "hey you still owe me some food at (place) how does this saturday sound?"

But her phone was in her bag and I told her 'Hey check your phone" with a smirk and smile during our break and walked out for a cup of water. Then I walk back in and sit back down as class starts to resume.

But for the next 20 minutes she doesnt say a word and has this nervous and negative body language. Normally she is very friendly and now her body language becomes different. It totally changed.

Before I sent her that text she kicked me under the table with her leg trying to get me to look a certain way and to get some information that a teacher was talking quietly to a student.

Afterwards she tensed up. Anyway I was like "hey you got my text" and she said "yeah I cant this saturday" and after that I just nodded and kept paying attention to the teacher as he was talking.

I then just started making silent jokes again that only the people around me could hear. I made her laugh a few times to clear the bad air.

Anyway. Im on facebook and I see her online and I talk to her.

and I say "****ty weather we are having" and she responds with "yeah it is"
with which I ask her a question about class and she says "good question Im not really sure myself" to which I respond by telling her what the teacher had said to me about how to find it and i said "Lol the teachers directions sent me to NY condoms" she replied with a "hah" but anyway. I found it and she said thanks.

The whole point is that she didnt ask me any questions she didnt reach out to me, or try and keep the conversation moving online that is. I didnt respond and naturally got nothing.

Now I got her phone number even got a "we should" all the signs of interest are there and even after not calling her that week when I said we should hangout, she kept showing signs of interest. It didnt appear that she was phased in anyway that I didnt call her or what not. So I thought alright no big deal ill ask her out again.

But what I got was bad body language, a no, and no desire to keep conversation with me online or in class.

Thats what Im getting. So it appears her IL is low.

I have a few questions.

1. Did not calling her when i told her we should hang out saturday have an effect on her IL?

2. Did the way I asked her the second time through text while sitting in class (thought it would be cute) put her off?

3. Do i pursue and try to raise her IL and then ask her out again or call this one a done deal?

Thanks guys so much

 

[Mike32ct]

I think you lost some serious points with her by not contacting her to finalize your Saturday date. She probably felt like you blew her off. Women don't take rejection too well. She may well have been polite to you after, but her IL probably dropped a lot.

I doubt this one can be salvaged, but I'll defer to the other guys.

 

[Thundernuts]

Umm, okay well im a bit confused. So what your trying to say is that you asked her out, got her number, and what...you didnt call her about it. Hmm, well i dunno, i can tell you that what your doing on facebook is wrong, let her talk to you, most likely she is just being friendly at this point.

I don't know what to tell you, just take your mind off it for now that way you don't really start messing things up. Just play it cool and keep the small talk to when your in person until she starts showing a bit more interest, and hold off on asking her out again. You don't want to get into the habit of txting this girl at the moment.

One thing that worked with me (and im not saying you should do this since its a different situation) i told the broad look its cool if you don't wanna talk to me anymore. I really don't care, if you do then hit me up sometime. Your almost giving them an ultimatum, just don't be like or else. I dunno man i don't see this going good.

 

[harkkam08]

yeah i mean its no big deal if it doesnt work out with this girl. I just dont want to make mistakes if I did make any.

I guess not calling her is a big deal and women and sensitive. I thought that no woman would like me enough to get upset over not being called by me. I mean if not this week then next week.

She could have even been busy but her body language just shifted from being friendly to negative and thats what bugged me.

I would have been cool if she was not so affected by it. I would have just waited a week or two and just talked and then asked her out again.

But no I dont want to message her on facebook because she hasnt messaged me once or texted me once.

 

[jophil28]

I think you lost some serious points with her by not contacting her to finalize your Saturday date. She probably felt like you blew her off. Women don't take rejection too well. She may well have been polite to you after, but her IL probably dropped a lot.

I doubt this one can be salvaged, but I'll defer to the other guys.

So you set up a meeting with her, she was giving you some good buying signals and then you basically "flaked" on her without a call because you were in a "bad mood" and "wanted to be alone ".. you sure you weren't just too busy doing your nails, or sipping wine with your boys and talking about winter fashion ?

Look, what you did was exactly what flaky chicks do, and men rightly complain about.

Live and learn .

 

[harkkam08]

But so what if I flaked on her, I asked her out again. I really dont see how anybody could be so pissed after asking them to hangout with you a second time that they change their mind

The day that I asked her a second time, before I asked her she was being her usual friendly self and being playful and even kicked me under the table. So it seemed like she was just fine.

But the minute I asked her she became uptight and her body language changed to negative energy.

It doesnt make sense that if she was being playful and friendly the same day before I asked her that after I asked her that she became freaked out.

Perhaps her telling me "we should" was just in jest and she gave me her phone number out of no particular desire just because i put the phone in front of her with the add contact open so she got the idea. When she realized I was serious about hanging out with her she freaked out.

 

[Iceberg]

Perhaps her telling me "we should" was just in jest and she gave me her phone number out of no particular desire just because i put the phone in front of her with the add contact open so she got the idea. When she realized I was serious about hanging out with her she freaked out.

Boom.

I read this earlier and this was exactly what I was thinking. I think the "We should" was just her not wanting to reject the offer, and she probably would have flaked out on you that Saturday.

You know the situation better than I do, but I'm feeling a possibility that there was no romantic interest. Which is why she's getting more distant as she realizes that you're trying to make a move on her.

That's just my opinion based on the info you presented.

 

[Warrior74]

But so what if I flaked on her, I asked her out again. I really dont see how anybody could be so pissed after asking them to hangout with you a second time that they change their mind

And this gentlemen is chic logic 101. This is what every chic who flakes thinks. Hey, its no big deal right?

I'm sure if she woulda flaked on you, you'd be here posting about it, oh wait...your still here posting. Hmmmm.

Now what did we learn class?

 

[badboyjmm]

And this gentlemen is chic logic 101. This is what every chic who flakes thinks. Hey, its no big deal right?

I'm sure if she woulda flaked on you, you'd be here posting about it, oh wait...your still here posting. Hmmmm.

Now what did we learn class?

That men acting like women will always fail...

 

[jophil28]

But so what if I flaked on her, I asked her out again. I really dont see how anybody could be so pissed after asking them to hangout with you a second time that they change their mind.

There are a few situations in which women perform more effectively and more wisely than we men do, and dealing with 'flakes' is one of them .
It is a rare woman who will look past being stood up by a guy.

IT would be in men's best interests to be as hardline and unforgiving of flaking as women are.

 

[harkkam08]

Idk I think that if a girl has a decent level of IL, and you ask her again. Her bodyy language shouldnt go from friendly to uncomfortable. If she was upset she wouldn't have spoken to me in the friendly flirty way she had been the three weeks after which I told her I would call her but didn't.

I still think when she realized "oh he is asking me out" that's when she was like "crap I don't like this guy and he thinks that I do."

I think she Is an attention *****, flirty and open wanting to be liked by everyone.

Question is do I ask her out again in a few weeks or just drop the issue and next it.

What also sucks is that I thought I had this one in the bag, like yeah she is easy prey no way this is going to not work. I kind of feel low like how could a girl like "her" reject me. Like I've hooked up with better looking girls with better personalities. I thought this was hook line and sinker. I can't be okay with a girl who in my mind is average shutting me down, kind of drags you down this feeling

 

[jophil28]

Your post above indicates that you still do not get why she is royally pissed.
You killed your chances with this girl by acting like an airhead.
She lost respect and attraction for you and I wager that you are won't get another shot because you screwed up BEFORE she had any investment in you to preserve.

BY all means ask her again in a week or two, but your chances are close to zero.