"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Low BS relationships
- Thread starter MackJr
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
blueangel83
Senior Don Juan
ya there are lots out there. but they are the minority.
maturity is a rare feature in both men and women.
most men you can characterize as:
- caring 99% about sex foremost
- quick to get angry over things
most women you can characterize as:
- quick to through tantrums
- caring 99% about being praised and adored foremost
and most of this site gives great advice for 99% of the people out there.
that's why without the DJ rules 99% of relationships end up with men and women yelling at each other.
that said, there are women and men who are mature enough not to behave and live life based solely on their emotions and do approach life's issues with a rational, calm, empathetic view.
the thing is that today everyone was raised on MTV and women think being lusted after is their only value in the eyes of a man, and men think that being "alpha" (ie. money, bling bling, etc) is their only value in the eyes of a woman.
oh well, 99% of sheep and living in accordance to how they've been conditioned.
There are members of both sexes though who don't follow the sheep.
J
Ok, suppose I take the bait.Originally posted by blueangel83
I'm one of them
How would I know that you're into bs-free (or low-bs) relationships from meeting you?
And, conversely, and you may not know the answer to this, are the attraction techniques necessary for a low-bs woman different from a standard one?
NewMan
Master Don Juan
Very low maintenance. Easy going. Is the happiest just hanging out with me.
it's refreshing to find a girl who isn't high maintenance - who is just as happy watching a movie with you, or going for a bike ride - as having dinner in a fancy rest. or go to the theatre.
What's even better is I do what I want. Go out with the guys when I want to, Ride my dirt bikes when I want - go away to Vegas or play poker when I want - without any BS from her. Not one time as she tried to fvck with my plans.
Add to that she wants it more than I do.... I really have trouble keeping up with the workload.....
I do miss sometimes having a woman with a spark. Sometimes it can be to easy.... a little drama can spice things up...
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
GirlCrazy
Master Don Juan
Hooray for desperate women!Originally posted by blueangel83
I'm one of them
Truth is, I don't know whether that's true or not, and she hasn't been on this board to clarify that belief.
However, it is important to be able to filter women for BS. Otherwise, you end up with drama queens and...nasty (in a bad way) chicks.
Even the unattractive (overwieght, ugly, etc.) women of the world can be this way. However, they are only percieved to be high maintenance by the guys that put up with them. The guys they desire probably wouldn't have a problem dumping them so they may not experience the BS that other guys will endure.
I believe (unless there's mental illness involved, abuse, etc.) that most people will put up with BS if they don't think they can find a "better" deal. I know a guy who's 22 and lost his v-card to an overweight, smoking, drinking 44 y/o woman because he wanted a sure bet to get regular sex. This is a reflection upon the way he feels about himself.
Kaine
Senior Don Juan
A woman will always use her little mind tricks and chick logic consciously or unconsciously to manipulate and control you or just to guage your position in the relationship. The best you can do is to diffuse them.
Continue to pass her tests, you retain your dominance and retain or become more attractive. Fail and.... well you know... lets just be friends.
Kaine
blueangel83
Senior Don Juan
Be Yourself
I "keep it real". You will instantly notice because I will look you straight in the eye and talk to you like I would talk to our church minister. What am I doing? reading you. I won't treat you like a piece of meat.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
blueangel83
Senior Don Juan
From your post, I can somewhat tell that you are intimidated by high maintenance women? And you believe that all high maintenance women are not girlfriend material or are evil? Not entirely true.
spider - what's wrong with that?
NewMan
Master Don Juan
That would be low maintenance women....
Meaning - how much maintenance does she require from the guy.
High maintenance women require a lot of time, money and pampering from men.
I guess they don't exist. even you admit you're making judgments based on all sorts of likely invalid criteria.Originally posted by blueangel83
Two words:
Be Yourself
I "keep it real". You will instantly notice because I will look you straight in the eye and talk to you like I would talk to our church minister. What am I doing? reading you. I won't treat you like a piece of meat.
I've observed your posts on the board, and you haven't struck me as a low-maintenance, mature woman. I guess it's more realistic to devise approaches that are based on women's selfishness than their qualities.
lol, amen! I broke up with a woman solely because of this reason! Things were just TOO easy! She was perfect, but the spark was just not there! Like they NEED us to be a challenge, we NEED them to be a challenge. Otherwise, there is just no spice!
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.