Love. What's your view?

[Army Strong]

Back then when I was a total AFC, I would fantasize about being in a loving relationship with a girl and spending my life with her. It brought me so much joy and happiness to believe that it would be possible one day. Any attractive girl would do.

Now that I'm not a chump anymore and date a bunch of girls, I find myself wondering if this "love" thing really exists. To tell you the truth, I'm getting bored of dating. I'm getting tired of this dating and fvcking routine, and it's only been 3 months since my transition. I want these old AFC feelings back but with all the DJ skills I have acquired and mastered.

I know that I want it, but it just isn't happening with any girl.

Do you think it's possible? Do you even believe it exists? Is it worth the lifetime of efforts?

 

[mikeyb]

Sure it exists. My parents have had that sort of thing going for 30 years. Whether or not everyone can find it and whether we should spend a "lifetime of efforts" looking for it I have no friggin clue...I don't plan on doing much searching myself, I'll tell you that much. For the (faraway) future a decent-looking woman who has realistic expectations on marriage and a solid head will do - right now this love/marriage talk is not really on my mind.

 

[CaptainJ]

Love is just another name for Unexpected Pregnancy.

 

[Huffman]

Love is just a concept. The media has overdone it so much that the original meaning (if there was ever any) got lost I guess.

I mean I can still "be in love". Butterflies and stuff and not screw it up. The idea of "true love" is probably bull**** and make-believe. Also "love at first sight": sure! If love means "strong attraction".

Often "love" comes together with "destiny". And destiny is just a funny way to make excuses for things that could have been different.

 

[Acq]

love = something that adds something positive to sexual intercourse. as long as it does not become a oneitis and as long as the person in "love" remembers that its an illusion, love is a nice thing to have

 

[synergy1]

Its the best people can to do describe where on the spectrum of caring for someone they lie. I say spectrum because its different for everyone, yet love tends to imply the most one could care for someone and while its theoretically possible to reach such a point, its unlikely anyone really ever does. if they do, it will likely wane due to something called reality. Most of the time I hear one of my friends say 'i love you' to their girlfriends, its just a temporary aphrodisiac really.

This was a subject of huge debate in my last relationship. My argument was that they were just words and the experiences meant everything irregardless of what was said. For example, if my friends would tell their gfs they loved them, than go sleep around with other chicks...those words (like most words) are meaningless. The measure of how well a couple gets along should be analyzed via their overall relationship, good and bad...not by some words that attempt to encompass everything in some vague impossible generality. That said, if you are in a relationship with a good person , it doesn't hurt to say it just to placate them especially if they really deserve it. Like Dexter Morgan from the TV show, you don't necessarily have to believe what you say...

 

[Serg897]

My experience has taught me that "love" is at best a convincing illusion, at worse a total human invention that doesn't really exist.

Our mainstream culture that often seems to encourage AFC behavior teaches us that love is this force that occurs between two people who are "just right" or "meant" to be with each other, but all this leads to is infatuation, oneitis, and the leading of countless men astray when they think they need a woman to be happy.

So honestly, I think that as DJs we need to avoid any delusions about falling in "love" for quite some time - until we have been with a woman we know for a long time.

 

[Nexus Polaris]

There is a huge difference between love and infatuation. Unfortunately, society is very big on confusing the two. Chumpy behavior is a result of infatuation, not love. Love is a deeply rooted benevolent bond you share with another person that does not challenge your self-respect. If at any time you feel powerless over yourself within the context of the relationship, this is not love.

 

[Warrior74]

Nexus nailed it.

I love my parents.
I love my siblings.
I love my daughter.
I love my friends.
I even love my ex.

I'm not a robot, I have human emotions. But. There have been times where I didn't like my parents (puberty and my teenage years), there have been times I didn't like my siblings. I'm sure there will be times where I'm not happy with my children and there were times I wasn't happy and didn't like my ex. Love and Like are two different things and people tend to get them confused. Throw in sex and infatuation and self esteem and you have a tangled up mess. The key is to never let any emotion cloud your judgement. Easier said than done. There is nothing wrong with feeling love, just be sure of your motives.

 

[Nino-Tk]

screw love im tired of trying!

 

[Lexington]

Reality is always more sobering than the ideal. Love exists, but it's not nearly as exciting or as amazing as it is portrayed in movies, long songs, poetry etc.

We as a society have absurd expectations of love. We seem to think that it is the answer to all our problems and it'll make everything alright. The truth is it is simply an emotion which facilitates the performance of certain biological functions.

Yes, love exists. But it is impossible for the real thing to live up the hype our society has given it.

 

[Ambition Now]

Love is rare nowadays, most of it is just a temporary and conditional passion.

 

[TrueDonJuan]

Not wishing to be a cynic, love is just a by-product of procreation. It's something we construct ourselves as a pretext for monogamy.

I certainly believe that you can have strong, caring feelings for a woman, but I am not sure it is ever truly on the same level as the love you feel for your first born son or daughter.

 

[badboyjmm]

There is a huge difference between love and infatuation. Unfortunately, society is very big on confusing the two

Blame Disney (thanks for screwing my view of women) and the feminine movement for that one.

When it comes to the interactions between a man and a woman, love is fabricated, by enjoying moments with someone that we feel compatible and complete with. So in that matter love doesn't exist. Love is only a word that describe the fact that we feel well around a particular person.

 

[bigneil]

Feminist movement. Big difference.

Feminist is to feminine what Sexist is to sexy.

 

[badboyjmm]

Feminist movement. Big difference.

Feminist is to feminine what Sexist is to sexy.

True true my mistake +1

 

[DoItAgain]

Love is a fairy tale for Hollywood and women.

The funny thing is, women dream of being carried off on a white horse, but in reality they fall in love with the guy that beats them just because "he's so hot."

It's hard to take most women seriously when you have the rose-colored sunglasses off.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

That´s a tricky question. For a lot of women, love seems like "Take care of me and give me things." What´s worse is that the more you do, the more they demand it and take you for granted.

48 laws of love? (It was written by a chick, it really surprised me)
http://www.balleralert.com/profiles/blogs/the-48-laws-of-love-law-number

 

[f283000]

Love is the worst mental illness that a man can get.

 

[Slick101]

Love is the worst mental illness that a man can get.

True... So How do you cure it>?