Lost trust, now what?

[MrNiceGuy23]

Been seeing a girl for around 6 months now, I put a lot of effort into getting this girl as she's been my main interest for the past 2 years now. We saw each other casually before, fooled around, etc before then and we finally decided to commit because we're really close friends and whatnot.

Long story short she saw I had sent flirtatious text messages to another girl I am good friends with. I told her I was wrong and that it wasn't like that (it really wasn't I don't know why I did it I've always been friendly with this girl cause we joke around a lot), but she has said she can't trust me anymore and doesn't know where her head or heart is at. It's been probably 3 months since that happened and it's come up several times that she still can't trust me, and she's worried about me and this and that.

I love her and I don't know what to do. When she first saw the messages she considered breaking up but decided not to and I had thought that meant she was going to deal with it. I had trust issues with her that I dealt with (time makes everything more clear), and I keep telling her to just relax and things become easier with time.

Anybody been in a situation like this? I do not want to end things with her by any means, I just want her to see that I'm trying to do the right thing.

 

[abe0]

If the chips were reversed...how would you react? That said, the moral of the story is.....NEVER GET CAUGHT!

 

[MrNiceGuy23]

I had my own trust issues with her right when we first started dating cause she had an ex who wouldn't go away (they talked a lot through emails, etc) but I knew nothing was going on so I let it go and I don't have anything to worry about anymore.

If it's just flirting and nothing more, and it was a one time incident...then I don't see the reason to drag it out into a big problem. I understand everybody is human and everybody makes mistakes. Mistakes that are as small (in my opinion) as this one...I can forgive and forget quite easily.

 

[TheSkyGlows]

You just gave her a "One-Time-Free-To-Flirt" Card. You've done it, and if she just let it pass right now then brace yourself, she's bound to do the same. You know, with being fair and whatever.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

The real question is, how did she get close enough to your phone to see the messages?? Was your phone facing up and off lock for her to see them, or did she look through your phone?

 

[CaptainSaveAh0]

NOW MOVE ON... Don't be a little b***h. If she can't trust you let her leave her. She should understand that every guy flirts and that you aren't her b1tch. She seems threatened and clearly wants a beta guy that she could have complete control of. Don't get the dreaded one-itis

 

[MrNiceGuy23]

The real question is, how did she get close enough to your phone to see the messages?? Was your phone facing up and off lock for her to see them, or did she look through your phone?

I don't lock my phone or anything, I don't have anything to hide. My girlfriend likes to play games on my phone cause she has a crappy 10 year old phone that isn't useful for anything.

The problem was my buddy got jealous that me and his girlfriend were good friends. There was nothing going on at the time and my girlfriend would ask about it and I told her so. She went through my phone one day and saw that I was in fact being truthful and there was nothing going on. Fast forward like 3 months and she was using my phone when I was in the shower and saw flirty text messages. She confronted me about it and I told her the deal and we moved on (she forgave me), but she's just having trouble getting back to how things were before that.

I told her things will take time for that to happen and there will obviously be ups and downs during that point, but she says she doesn't know if that will ever happen but she agrees to try.

I don't want a half asses effort out of her, I know relationships are difficult and I know they require effort to make things work especially in these circumstances. I'm not trying to be an AFC about it but she's pretty closely tangled into my main structure of friends (we were friends for almost 3 years before we started dating) so it will be extremely difficult if not impossible to avoid her if we broke up.

I'm really at a loss here.