"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Lost my Confidence after breakup

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I was recently broken up with a girl which I semi-lived with, and am having trouble getting back to normal. This is my second day, but basically I feel depressed, can't sleep as well, lost most of my appetite, and feel kind of ill. Any advice on how to get better from those who have experienced similar things would be appreciated.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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L B

Master Don Juan
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Things I have done in the past after a major breakup:

Take some time to yourself and reflect on what happened and learn from it. Improve and never make the same mistake again.

If you have a close friend or family you can trust, hang out with them for a couple of days to let time pass.

Focus on something else for a while before jumping into any other relationship. Once you have regain your focus and self, go out and have fun. I usually take about a month break from dating to gather myself. When you are that close to someone (long term relationship), you can't just forget about it or move on just like that. It takes time, but make sure that time is productive. Don't do anything destructive. Try to focus your energy on improving yourself.
 

feelingloved

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This may sound simple but...
Figure out which other areas of your life are sources of low confidence, and work to improve them. Aim to make yourself outstanding in the areas of your strength.
Do nothing much else, and force yourself to get tons of sleep, day after day.
Its been my approach.
 

MooseGod

Master Don Juan
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You must find your center, young grasshopper. Suggestions:

Do something that promotes in you a stronger sense of self...go hiking in the mountains for a few days or something by yourself. Buy a motorcycle and ride it cross-country.

Exercise. Gets the endorphins going, plus the obvious positive change in physique after sticking with it for a while.

Get a dog. A dog forces you to wake up at a decent hour (to feed them), you have to walk them when you might otherwise sit on your ass all day. Then you've got the added benefit of easily picking up chicks (the good ones are usually animal lovers.)

Grow a beard. Do this while you're hiking in the mountains or riding motorcycles cross-country. Don't ask why, and don't argue with me on this one. Chuck Norris has a beard, you think he's got low confidence? :crackup:

...and feelingloved suggested getting lots of sleep, but anything over 8 to 8 1/2 hours will affect you negatively--too much sleep is almost as bad as too little. Plus sleeping a lot is a pretty common symptom of depression.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
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Do an autopsy of the relationship and come to grips with both the good and the bad of the relationship. Figure out what you've learned from the experience and make any adjustments if necessary. Go out and focus on yourself for a while before looking for a replacement. Just enjoy the act of being single before thinking about becoming committed again.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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