B
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
There are cheaters and non cheaters in both genders. I value commitment honor and loyalty. The only reason I'm on this forum is for advise re: my husbands actions. I have been faithful for the entire marriage... 13 years. My husband on the other hand, is spending more time chatting with women on facebook and being sucked into giving them money because they act useless and helpless, 0oh and he thinks they're cute. I detest pathetic women. Do not think all women are the same because we are not. If you are looking for a woman, chances are you are looking to hard and in the wrong place. Quit looking and the right one will show up.... When I met my husband, I was jaded against men. I thought they were all liars and manipulators. I gave them all the same speech.. it's just for fun.. when the fun stops we stop. I played baseball... 3 strikes and your out... sometimes just one. I guess it was the chase that kept my husband interested. I made my own money and did not need anything but fun from a man. I have always been capable of taking care of myself. I find men shy away from women that have a brain....
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BeDJ
Guest
If he is willing to give money and attention to cute, possibly younger, women online than you, there might be a lack of intimacy in your relationship. Would you consider yourself attractive for your age?
I know I went through the same phase in my LTR, my ex would literally use her body and fvck me silly to get my attention. Only until she played the same game did I give her more attention. She got caught in it, she was getting so much attention from other men, that my attention no longer matter.
Does your husband understand he is paying for self-esteem?
I know I went through the same phase in my LTR, my ex would literally use her body and fvck me silly to get my attention. Only until she played the same game did I give her more attention. She got caught in it, she was getting so much attention from other men, that my attention no longer matter.
Does your husband understand he is paying for self-esteem?
No.. he doesn't. He has issues with the actual act of intercourz... has to stop..start over... I think in his mind it's my fault? He thinks maybe a young skank will do the trick? I'm not ugly... I see men looking at me but I'm not a skank. I would never cheat... To me if your cheating your wasting time holding onto nothing... I guess he considers me nothing....BeginningDJ said:
Night-hawk
Master Don Juan
Understandable. What may work better is instead of just losing interest in them, stop making them a priority. Cut your ties of attachment to them so that rather than restrict your natural masculine desire for certain females, change how you deal with and respond to them. If you have lost interest in relationships with them then so what, stay single and do your own thing.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
I go through phases. Sometimes I just don't care about women and just am doing my own thing, working on my business and such. Then it comes back in force and I want nothing else but to meet them.
If you're not feeling it at the moment, i'd say just do your own thing, see friends, work on your own projects. Let the desire come back by itself.
If you're not feeling it at the moment, i'd say just do your own thing, see friends, work on your own projects. Let the desire come back by itself.
I'm completely in the same boat as you are right now, BeginningDJ. I've been single for about 9 months and have hit this new social revival that I'm just loving right now. I was in an LTR from the time I was 20 until I was almost 26, and never had a chance to just do me and figure things out for myself. Luckily I still have a lot of single friends in the same age range, and now that we're in our mid-20s we actually have a little bit of money to throw around and do some cool stuff, unlike our early 20s when we were all broke as f*ck.
I've been on several dates recently and am finding them to be more of an annoyance than anything. Sure, it's nice to get some positive female attention but I'm so apathetic about dating right now that I don't put forth much effort towards continuing the interactions, even with the ones I click with. I recently got my own place, started a master's program and doing MMA classes, and I'd much rather spend my time and money on doing those things than going on these mediocre dates with no promise of any type of return. I'm sure this apathy will pass eventually, but I'll look at it positively in the meantime.
After my ex and I broke up I was so desperate for female attention that I'd seek it out just about everywhere I went. Even when I'd get it, it was still never enough. Nice to be out of that mindset.
I've been on several dates recently and am finding them to be more of an annoyance than anything. Sure, it's nice to get some positive female attention but I'm so apathetic about dating right now that I don't put forth much effort towards continuing the interactions, even with the ones I click with. I recently got my own place, started a master's program and doing MMA classes, and I'd much rather spend my time and money on doing those things than going on these mediocre dates with no promise of any type of return. I'm sure this apathy will pass eventually, but I'll look at it positively in the meantime.
After my ex and I broke up I was so desperate for female attention that I'd seek it out just about everywhere I went. Even when I'd get it, it was still never enough. Nice to be out of that mindset.
In2theGame
Master Don Juan
I feel the exact same way right now. I have no desire or as much to go out and hook up or meet women even though my friends want to go out and meet girls. I went through a phase where i was meeting so many women and hooking up with them and im talking HB 8's 9's, I was having a blast every weekend but all of a sudden i just dont feel like dealing with females right now or drinking/partying. I still go out to hang out with my friends and still have a good time but im not my usual self where i see a girl i like and i go straight up to her and get to know her and eventually hook up. Ive been talking to this Blonde HB9 though since April and starting to like her a lot but im def scared to invest myself into it but we'll see.
I feel i need to continue focusing on my business more and chill out for a while instead of partying so much like i was. Maybe it will come back to me out of the blue where i want to meet loads of women again but its just not there right now.
I feel i need to continue focusing on my business more and chill out for a while instead of partying so much like i was. Maybe it will come back to me out of the blue where i want to meet loads of women again but its just not there right now.