Lost feeling of being single.

[Bronxtal112]

So it's been a while since I posted on this board. Every time I've posted here I've felt better about the situation so here I am again.

Recently broke up with my girl for 2 years. Before that I was with a girl for 4 years. Things werent going good for a while. She was trying to control me. Like she wanted to be the center of my life, and I didn’t want that. To make a long story short, this all happens in the middle of me buying my first house and getting a really good job.

However, I being alone right now outweighs all the positives I've got going for me. In reality it’s really the first time I’ve been single in 6 years. I sort of don’t know where to start in trying to find someone else. Or, just taking it easy for now. Kinda got a lost feeling going on.

Any thoughts?

 

[Jeffst1980]

I had the same feeling a couple years ago. You didn't come right out and say it, but i'm guessing she dumped you (I used the same wording when I discussed my 'breakup,' in which I was dumped). I had an overwhelming sense of lost time when it happened...I felt like the years we spent together were some kind of strange dream, and that I had somehow regressed to who I was prior to the relationship. This will last for a little while--you did lose a important part of your life, for better or for worse.

You need to re-connect with friends ASAP. The worst thing for you is to be alone and sulking right now. Go out, date if you like, but expect that the lost feeling isn't going to disappear right away. Use this time to do all the things you didn't do when you were in a relationship, and above all, don't let it affect that new job. You're entering a part of your life where you will have more options for girls than ever before, trust me. After a few months you'll be ready to go, with a clearer sense of who you are.
Best of Luck!

 

[joekerr31]

you watch the tv show lost?

everyone wants off the island, but when they get off the island some of them want to get back on the island.

thats what being single is like. when your single you want to be attached, when your attached being single doesn't look so bad.

the reality is that life is what you make it, regardless of your 'status'.

 

[romangod]

However, I being alone right now outweighs all the positives I've got going for me. In reality it’s really the first time I’ve been single in 6 years. I sort of don’t know where to start in trying to find someone else. Or, just taking it easy for now. Kinda got a lost feeling going on.

Any thoughts?

Instead of trying to find someone else I would suggest finding yourself. Being single is forcing you to get to know who you are and I sense that you fear it. You've been delaying it by being handcuffed by relationships that stunted your growth. Instead, embrace being single for now and start a new relationship with yourself. Cheers!

 

[DJ Noble]

In reality it’s really the first time I’ve been single in 6 years. I sort of don’t know where to start in trying to find someone else. Or, just taking it easy for now. Kinda got a lost feeling going on.

joekerr I love the LOST analogy as it accurately decribes the single/non-single dynamic.

Bronxtal, for the first time in 6 years you aren't emotionally attached to someone and are forced to think in terms of YOU. Like romangod suggested, you need spend some time getting to know who you are. You implied that you are thinking about looking to find someone else. I would suggest that you first focus on yourself before jumping to another GF. Going that route will only hurt you in the long run and give that next relationship little chance of developing into anything significant.

Time to live the good life! You're 26 and in your prime. You just bought a house and have a decent job. Get out there and have some fun. You'll never be able rewind time and be a young bachelor again.

 

[Fantasy]

Bronx, I recall going through similar feelings when I was your age and in a similar situation. All of the above is good advice. Right now, it does not seem like you are still quite young and will have many more relationships ahead of you whether meaningful or not.

Relax and trust me...as long as your career and other parts of your life is falling into line, the romantic aspect will deliver. It always seem to happen out of no where and when you least expect. Again, relax and enjoy yourself. Another is waiting around the corner waiting to ambush you.


I am very guilty of wanting to be in a relationship or screw around with as many women as I can when I am on a roll but when I have either of these, all I can think about is being single and hanging out with my friends or my porn. It seems like the cycle never ends.

 

[Bronxtal112]

Thanks for the comments everyone. These comments were exactly what I wanted to hear.