TheDifference
New Member
Okay, this is a long story but I’ll do my best to keep it short and stick to the point (keep in mind I’ve never made any attempt to achieve nor have I even heard of this persona; DJ until today). Basic breakdown of the situation can be found at the bottom of the post.
I met “Amanda” about a year ago at a friends house. She was an a co-worker of my friends gf and she had dropped by to type up her resume as her computer was down at the time. In any case, IL was mutual and was easily 90+. If I didn’t know better I’d say this is one of those situations a chump would call love at first site. Accustomed to meeting women mostly in clubs/bars, I took the change of setting as an opportunity to engage this girl in meaningful conversation out the gate, confidently answering her questions on carrer advice, resume writing, etc. There was an overwhelmingly obvious attraction but I made it a point to not show any reaction which might give her the idea that this exchange was anything outside the norm of how I interact with all females. Didn’t exchange numbers or even elude to doing so. She left after a couple hours and without me saying a word my friend commented on the attraction he could sense between us just before he clued me in on the fact that “Amanda” has been in a long term relationship of nearly 5 years and not to even bother. My friend has never steered me wrong so I shook it off and let it go. Well the next week I am back at my buddies house when his gf informs me that “Amanda” has been asking about me and making comments to the effect of, “If only I was single”.
Now lets face it, just like every other girl out there most were stolen from some guy who stole her from someone else. Its just the way things go in the reality of things so I unless there were rings exchanged I have never put much weight on the sanctity of boyfriend/girlfriend unless of course it was my girlfriend in question. Five years is a long time though so in this case, other than knowing in fact the feelings were mutual I held 0 expectation that anything would come of this. Well a few weeks pass and my friends girlfriend calls me (they live a block away) and tells me that her and “Amanda” were on the way home from their company party, slightly drunk and that “Amanda” was wondering if I would by any chance be stopping by. I let them know it was a slight possibility but not to expect it. Long story short… I head over there after an hour or so and again, the chemisty is intoxicating and it took all I had to remain cool and not come on too strong, especially considering she is commited already, so we’re talking about her luck with the resume tips I had gave her, etc. and we didn’t realize that 4 hours had gone past, we were basically the last one’s standing, her ride (my friends gf) was passed out from too many drinks and her man had left 12 messages on her cell and he was about to come looking for her. So I let her know I was sober and if need be I would give her a ride to her car, she excepted and while we were driving her man calls once again and she answers but lied when he asked where she was and who she was with. Bad for him, good sign for me. I drop her off and she gives me her number and email address and asks if I’d be interested in grabbing lunch with her sometime. So a week or so later I call and she declines, called a few days later, declined again so I drop it. Don’t hear from her for months than out of the blue she calls one day while I’m working to tell me her and her bf had brokeup and asked if she could come visit that night. I told her sure and I’d see her around 8. Never shows. Months go by… same thing only this time she actually makes it and though they were back together soon she started coming to see me every few weeks or so telling me about how much of a prick the guy is and I basically told her my feelings on it which are that no 22 year old girl should have to deal with that, etc. A year of this goes by and then finally 3 months ago she moves out of his place into her own apt. and we start hanging out more. She starts showing attachment and I tell her I really like her but I wouldn’t be her rebound. So she starts getting really into me, buying me single roses for no reason, calling a lot, saying she misses me when I am out of town, etc. Keep in mind I have been silently pining for this girl over a year and so I disregard better judgement and start to allow myself to show what I was feeling. Things go almost so good it’s weird for 3 months aside from the psycho ex showing up at my house, slashing tires, and being stupid which had us both hating him. Well the drama finally resides after awhile and she start expressing how she still loves him some twisted way and that she hasn’t had closure so she wanted to see him. In theory I was fine with it but the evening turned to night, almost to sunrise and my fear/jealousy took over and I rushed to his house, and basically did the same thing he had done for years which was be irrational, jealous, and over-bearing. The next day she tells me she wasn’t ready, but not to worry, she wasn’t going back to him and she just needed space and asked if we could go back to being friends for awhile until she could regroup. I have seen her maybe 5 times sense and she still has that look in her eye but insists on no sex, kissing, etc until she has gotten over the last guy, but then she still see’s him on occasion to just hangout like friends or whatever and I can’t seem to just bite my tongue and keep things light and easy with us and I won’t let him or her make me the chump, so last night I told her friends wasn’t working for me and that I wanted more or nothing and that she should look me up once shegot over him for good. Seemed like she was crushed and so was I so we talked it out for awhile (I know, all mistakes). Our conversation was cut short simply by the time but she is going to come by in a bit to finish our talk. Now a couple questions:
1. Based on the many mistakes I made recently is this even salvageble?
2. If looking back at some point and I decide ended it this way was a bad idea and wish to try it her way again will she ever be able to look at me with the same respect as she did when we first met?
3. This girl IS special if for no other reason than the magic we both feel when we’re together and she’ll be here in a couple hours. Nothing has been set in stone as where this is going as of now but this will be my last chance to present my stance. Considering my ultimate goal is at least a chance to give this 1 more try at some point, minus all the drama that’s been present this time around.
I met “Amanda” about a year ago at a friends house. She was an a co-worker of my friends gf and she had dropped by to type up her resume as her computer was down at the time. In any case, IL was mutual and was easily 90+. If I didn’t know better I’d say this is one of those situations a chump would call love at first site. Accustomed to meeting women mostly in clubs/bars, I took the change of setting as an opportunity to engage this girl in meaningful conversation out the gate, confidently answering her questions on carrer advice, resume writing, etc. There was an overwhelmingly obvious attraction but I made it a point to not show any reaction which might give her the idea that this exchange was anything outside the norm of how I interact with all females. Didn’t exchange numbers or even elude to doing so. She left after a couple hours and without me saying a word my friend commented on the attraction he could sense between us just before he clued me in on the fact that “Amanda” has been in a long term relationship of nearly 5 years and not to even bother. My friend has never steered me wrong so I shook it off and let it go. Well the next week I am back at my buddies house when his gf informs me that “Amanda” has been asking about me and making comments to the effect of, “If only I was single”.
Now lets face it, just like every other girl out there most were stolen from some guy who stole her from someone else. Its just the way things go in the reality of things so I unless there were rings exchanged I have never put much weight on the sanctity of boyfriend/girlfriend unless of course it was my girlfriend in question. Five years is a long time though so in this case, other than knowing in fact the feelings were mutual I held 0 expectation that anything would come of this. Well a few weeks pass and my friends girlfriend calls me (they live a block away) and tells me that her and “Amanda” were on the way home from their company party, slightly drunk and that “Amanda” was wondering if I would by any chance be stopping by. I let them know it was a slight possibility but not to expect it. Long story short… I head over there after an hour or so and again, the chemisty is intoxicating and it took all I had to remain cool and not come on too strong, especially considering she is commited already, so we’re talking about her luck with the resume tips I had gave her, etc. and we didn’t realize that 4 hours had gone past, we were basically the last one’s standing, her ride (my friends gf) was passed out from too many drinks and her man had left 12 messages on her cell and he was about to come looking for her. So I let her know I was sober and if need be I would give her a ride to her car, she excepted and while we were driving her man calls once again and she answers but lied when he asked where she was and who she was with. Bad for him, good sign for me. I drop her off and she gives me her number and email address and asks if I’d be interested in grabbing lunch with her sometime. So a week or so later I call and she declines, called a few days later, declined again so I drop it. Don’t hear from her for months than out of the blue she calls one day while I’m working to tell me her and her bf had brokeup and asked if she could come visit that night. I told her sure and I’d see her around 8. Never shows. Months go by… same thing only this time she actually makes it and though they were back together soon she started coming to see me every few weeks or so telling me about how much of a prick the guy is and I basically told her my feelings on it which are that no 22 year old girl should have to deal with that, etc. A year of this goes by and then finally 3 months ago she moves out of his place into her own apt. and we start hanging out more. She starts showing attachment and I tell her I really like her but I wouldn’t be her rebound. So she starts getting really into me, buying me single roses for no reason, calling a lot, saying she misses me when I am out of town, etc. Keep in mind I have been silently pining for this girl over a year and so I disregard better judgement and start to allow myself to show what I was feeling. Things go almost so good it’s weird for 3 months aside from the psycho ex showing up at my house, slashing tires, and being stupid which had us both hating him. Well the drama finally resides after awhile and she start expressing how she still loves him some twisted way and that she hasn’t had closure so she wanted to see him. In theory I was fine with it but the evening turned to night, almost to sunrise and my fear/jealousy took over and I rushed to his house, and basically did the same thing he had done for years which was be irrational, jealous, and over-bearing. The next day she tells me she wasn’t ready, but not to worry, she wasn’t going back to him and she just needed space and asked if we could go back to being friends for awhile until she could regroup. I have seen her maybe 5 times sense and she still has that look in her eye but insists on no sex, kissing, etc until she has gotten over the last guy, but then she still see’s him on occasion to just hangout like friends or whatever and I can’t seem to just bite my tongue and keep things light and easy with us and I won’t let him or her make me the chump, so last night I told her friends wasn’t working for me and that I wanted more or nothing and that she should look me up once shegot over him for good. Seemed like she was crushed and so was I so we talked it out for awhile (I know, all mistakes). Our conversation was cut short simply by the time but she is going to come by in a bit to finish our talk. Now a couple questions:
1. Based on the many mistakes I made recently is this even salvageble?
2. If looking back at some point and I decide ended it this way was a bad idea and wish to try it her way again will she ever be able to look at me with the same respect as she did when we first met?
3. This girl IS special if for no other reason than the magic we both feel when we’re together and she’ll be here in a couple hours. Nothing has been set in stone as where this is going as of now but this will be my last chance to present my stance. Considering my ultimate goal is at least a chance to give this 1 more try at some point, minus all the drama that’s been present this time around.
