Lost all Confidence - Help me NOT become an AFC

[IndianPlayboy]

As my first post, this has got to be a bit of a downer. Considering I feel I was somewhat of a damn good DJ over the last few years, this is definitely not a post I ever imagined I would have to make.
Things in my life have changed a lot lately, and I feel like I've lost a lot of confidence. In fact, I fear I've lost all of it.

Breakdown:

• 
  Moved to the US from Canada right after college to live in a city on my own, without knowing anyone. Hard to meet women, have a circle of friends to hang with. Went from Mr Social in college to knowing very few people. That killed a year or so.
  
  After finally settling and finding a group of people to hang with, as well as dating about 5-6 girls over the span of two years, moved back to Canada to realize a lot of close friends and chicks I was tagging years ago are hooked up long term.
  
  When I date girls now, I feel like I'm changing myself to be more attractive to them. I hold back on neg hits, when I do try 'em they come off as mean, rather than funny. Every aspect of the skill I had on neg hits before seem to have left me.
  
  Girls are seeing me as an AFC. They're asking me about other guys, telling me I'm such a good friend. It's a horrible, horrible nightmare coming alive.
  
  I think I'm pushing it. My sources of confidence are depleting. Instead of living in a nice pad on my own, I'm back with my parents. I don't have the few female ego boosters I did before. It's not a pretty site.

Now after reading that you probably think it was always like this. I'll tell you, before the moves, back in College (only 3 years ago), I was nexting women, and getting exactly what I wanted. Some saw me as rude, but I didn't give a ****. It was the hey-day, and I feel like I won't ever get it back.

You guys know the game the best. So that's why I'm reaching out for some opinions. Lay it on me.

 

[So pimp its scary]

You gotta get to the point where you gotta figure this shyt out NO MATTER WHAT!! Untill then I'd only be wasting my finger muscles...

 

[smoke city]

you WILL get it back. it may take some time working on it, maybe 6 mos. to a year, but you will find yourself again. i had a long dry spell and then a 2 year (boring as hell) relationship and thought i would never be back to my old self. but i'm several years out of college and have just gotten going again in the last 6 months.
I'd say just commit yourself to a year of looking within yourself, making the necessary adjustments, and just thinking and observing a hell of a lot. you'll get in motion a lot faster than many of the other guys here b/c you've been at the top of your game before..
man, this is a damn exciting time for you -- a clean slate.
best of luck player...peace.

 

[dirtysouth]

I like what smoke city said - that's exactly what you should see it as. An opportunity to be better than you ever was before. Screw what people think about you and just be good to yourself. If you've done it before, you can do it again. It's all in your head.

 

[DinoCassanova]

Why don't you try one of those seminars, or workshops rather, that Style talked about in his book "The Game"?? Sounds like they get a lot of guys on track (either for the first time ever, or in your case, back on track again). That is, if scraping up ....... I don't know what they're charging right now........ over a grand? isn't an issue for you.

 

[chancer]

You've talked to many girls in college.... You are confident. You are Mr. Social. You are all of the above.

This is all mental here. What you need to do is believe in yourself and think positively.

believe in yourself, cause if you don't no one will.

 

[Mr. Cardio]

okay, so you are in the US now and you dont know anybody is that correct, or you are in canada now, is that correct?

Okay do this, stand up, breathe in and breathe out, do that three times, now think of your current mindset and situation, now begin to shake it off and step forward. Do you do that, now look back, because thats the last time you will ever feel that way again.

The problem you have right now, is not that you are an AFC, but you just are not connecting with women. Me myself, I use fast seduction, like elicting values, patterns, etc, and they really work. Now, a lot of people here dont like to use these things, mainly because they really dont understand them. SS is not JUST mental masterbation, but it is a way to get us to not only approach girls, but to allow it to be worthwhile seeing that it gets results and gets us closer to the opposite sex. Buddy, what you need to do is go to sites that talk about these different things, just do a search on fast seduction, and in about a day of reading, you can go out and be back in touch with the opposite sex just like that. Trust me.

Your situation just looked bad, but trust me, looks are deceiving, and the truth is, there is a whole bunch of women right around you now, thats waiting for YOU to seduce them.....go get them tiger.

 

[Smoothflow]

Get motivated and hit the gym. Start of small again and make your way back up the hill again. Its always fun making your journey up the hill, builds you up each time you reach the top.

 

[tao_jones]

An old friend uses the analogy of a toolbox. Says once you have a skill (like a tool), you can pull it out and use it again. It's yours, you own it. If it got rusty since last time, oil it. If dull, sharpen it.

You had the skills in college, and you have 'em now. Hone them and use them.

As far as being a "gal pal", it's fine to have female friends. Even then, maintain a little "danger". I have a touch of sexual tension in all of my "platonic" relationships with women.

tao