loss of interest/power struggle

[Comatozed]

So I've been seeing this girl for two months now and I can't help but wonder if she is losing/has lost interest. It could just be in my head but I'd like some input on the situation ans how to respond

The mistake I fear I may have made is being to available. Because of the way we are when we're together, I perhaps mistakenly assumed I could just act interested because she was clearly interested in me. I didn't feel the need to make her keep chasing.

However now I feel as though she has the power and I do not like this feeling. She still initiates texting fairly often, but then again sometimes her texts can be short and whilst she does ask questions back, she's far from blabbering on.

Last night I was texting her after she initiated, then just no response after a few back and forths.. last text was from me telling her about a film and asking how Monday night was, as we'd both been out with out sepwrate friends. This morning I woke up to her reply, 'film sounds interesting, it was ok thanks, never drinking again though, wbu?'

So yeah she probably just fell asleep. But that leaves me torn, is this a lack of respect that I shouldn't stand for? It feels like she can pick it up and leave it whenever she likes and I don't wanna be in that position. At the same time,
I choose not to respond today, is that me taking back the power or will it be obvious Im in a bit of a sulk.

I was planning to respond in short later tonight and then make no real effort to keep it going..then over the next few days take back the power, I'm concerned by just ignoring her for a day will be transparent, especially cos we communicate pretty much every dat.

Help!?

Cliffs:
Ignore her to make her miss me at risk of me letting on I'm upset over something that could really be trivial

 

[Duracell_Bunny]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

I would say you could be placing too much attention on her texts, it is like you are sitting around waiting for her replies.

Get involved with something else, then check your phone when your done. You don't have to reply to every single call/text, neither does she have to respond to yours.

Save the chat about films until she is cleaning up the mess you have made over her boobs.

 

[Yewki]

The good news is she still has interest. If her IL was low she wouldn't be initiating anything.

The bad news is you're AFC.

The silver lining is she may be too.

Text conversations get tedious and boring after a while and she will lose interest if you keep it up. Save the conversations for in person and stop obsessing over her attention.

 

[Comatozed]

Hi, ty for your reply.

I could just be being insecure. But I def feel i've not been enough of a challenge..and if i was to start becoming a challenge now..i'm not sure that would work..it'd certainly be odd to her that we go from communicating everyday to every few days..it's kinda like a step back in the relationship..but at the same time it may be the only way to keep interest high?

If I respond tonight, it will be a short msg, and if i get no reply/a short meh reply, then it's just another blow to me in the battle for power. Porbably best to act more indifferent.

@yewki - you're right, im working on it.

 

[El Payaso]

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO REPLY TO IT. SHEESH.

It's a completely trivial and pointless conversation. Just ignore it. Your next message should be asking her out. Get an answer and leave the conversation at that. Period.

 

[Comatozed]

In exactly the same position now as I was yesterday.

Wake up to a reply, that is somewhat short but ends with 'plz give me motivation to do some work'...completely ignoring it just feels rude but maybe I need to let her see I'm prepared to walk away..I want to go NC for a few days to see if she follows up but idk if I got that in me, if it goes a few days I'll probably cave.

FWIW this is a girl I see once every 2 weeks but for 3 nights at a time..maybe she's being short because I am or maybe she's trying to let me know things are winding down.

I'd like to text her less, but how do I do that without it seeming like a backward step, I was thinking I could say something along the lines of 'i think so much texting isn't beneficial and we should leave more of the communication for in person' then ask her outis it ridiculous I'm sweating asking her out again, given the situation. FWIW we re both busy for the next 2 weekends, so that'll be 5 weeks without seeing each othe..

 

[Greasy Pig]

I think you're reading way too much into these interactions and it's brought on by the neediness bubbling forth in your posts.
It sounds like you have no other options and this is feeding your scarcity complex.
You should not give a flying fvck if she's texting you, she should be wondering what you're doing.
If you can sense her interest waning, just revert her to fvck buddy status and go meet other women.
Are you exclusive with this chick?

 

[Comatozed]

Well we haven't had 'the talk' to say we're bf/gf. But we live in different cities and when we're together we act very much like a couple.

The feeling of interest wanning is horrible, it wouldn't usually matter but I do like this girl. I think we became to comfortable too soon and its caused the spark to go. My only saving grace is that she has referrenced her friends being clingy in relationships and I get the impression she doesn't want to be the same, but shes not even close to clingy tbh.

My plan is to go no contact until Sunday, then address the fact I've texted less, see if she agrees it can be tedious and I don't want that and to ask her out...I think that is the best approach, it'll then be plainly obvious were I stand, and even tho we were never officially a couple, I can move on... Think I've caught oneitus, and stopped being a challenge.

I don't know how to suddenly become a challenge, othe than NC ask her out..

 

[pyros]

just out of curiosity Comatozed, do you have sex with this girl....?

 

[Comatozed]

Yea. I'm hopeful these doubts are just in my head but idk, guts telling me I've not DJ'd anywhere near enough, partly cos I felt I didn't need to, and now it feels to late to start.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Dude you never can let a woman stop chasing you, they will lose interest. Even a married woman with kids and a Benz her husband lets her drive will seek more exciting cawk if she loses interest in her main. At the risk of losing everything she has, she will cheat just because she lost interest. It never ends, it's never finished, you can never relax. Best thing you can do is get used to it, and figure out ways to freak her out every once in a while that don't disturb your life too much.

And as far as texting goes. Screw it. Stop it with the good morning texts and such. It just makes you look like a sucker that needs a little morning text to be happy. You're bigger than that nonsense. Text her when you have to tell her something and to plan a hangout and that's it. Let her be the one that wonders not you.

SPIN PLATES!!!!

 

[Comatozed]

Got it.

Going to leave it a few days to hopefully make her wonder, then if she's not txt me I'll text her to arrange to see her and see if I have been nexted.

Sound solid?

I'll know next time for sure.