I liked this post of mine so much I decided to shamelessly post it as a tip.
I'm not a 'bad boy', and I don't try and project that image or act that way. I admit there've been times I've tried and on me it just looks stupid, because it's an act, it's not me. Going around glaring at everyone doesn't get girls, it gets you into fights.
I've always been nice, friendly, open, honest, accommodating, interested in people, sensitive etc. Most people have these traits, nothing new there. What I realised is that it wasn't enough. Great if you want to be friends with everyone, but no good at all if you want more. So I started to look at what was missing, and what it is, is edge. I didn't have the confidence to be anything other than affable, friendly and smiley all the time, even when I felt inside like a volcano ready to explode, or like wanting to be playful and stupid.
So what did I have to work with to get a natural edge that comes easily to me? All men have the potential to be exciting, dramatic and passionate. To make a woman feel like she's on a rollercoaster when she meets you. Sometimes everything's calm and moving along smoothly, then suddenly you drop off and all h*ll breaks loose. All I had to do was to stop suppressing those qualities in me and just be myself.
How has my behaviour changed?
1. I react less to what women say. I no longer assume that because they've said something, that they want me to say something back, or to repond verbally in some other way, with a laugh or whatever. Instead, a long look is enough, either with some amusement, appraisal or anger in my eyes.
Those times when in the past I'd be searching for the most appropriate thing to say in response to her, I now just don't say anything. In fact, my clue as to when it's best to keep schtum and pin her down with my eyes is when I find myself trying to work out what to say.
It's impossible to underestimate just how powerful a long, intense, lingering look can be when directed at a woman who's attracted to you. Whether you're looking with compassion, anger, humour, jealousy or whatever other emotion you are feeling at the time, it gives the woman permission to feel intensely what she feels. I've had a girl literally weeping with the intensity of her feelings just from me holding her gaze. I've no idea what she was feeling so strongly about, it doesn't matter, I was the template onto which she was able to feel what she wanted to feel, and I felt good about it.
2. I express what I'm feeling. It's called 'realness' or 'congruence' in some circles. We all have a rollercoaster ride of emotions going on in us all the time - feelings bubbling away under the surface, sometimes bursting out. Showing this fully is what can make a woman feel truly excited to be around us longterm.
Forget the 'bad boy' activities like taking her for a high-speed motorbike ride etc, those are cheap imitations designed to try and get her excited by external means, by guys who don't know how to use themselves to get her excited. When a woman plays games with me and I feel angry, I literally become angry before her eyes. I don't explode unless it's called for, mostly I become intense and tell her fiercely to stop playing games. But I do it for real. Everything about me, my face, my eyes, my voice, my stance, reflects what I'm feeling. If I'm feeling truly excited and happy, then I let that shine through.
Whatever I am feeling, I make a real attempt to (a) be aware of it and (b) be it. This isn't just for women, this is for life. People grow respect for people who can be themselves with no apology. And as far as women go, the more myself I am able to be, the safer it makes a woman feel to be with me. I'm using the word 'safe' in it's instinctive meaning. Women have a primal need to feel safe with their man, not safe in a Nice Guy "He's too much of a wuss to cause me trouble" way.
This is really something. I'm using anger as my main example because I often get p*ssed off with women's craziness. But think about it:
Being really, truly angry with a woman (with reason) can make her feel safe to be with you, and increase her desire to be yours. It gives you solidity in her eyes.
Legal Edit: I'm not talking physical abuse here.
Same with the other emotions. That's pretty deep. Or at least it was for me when I discovered how true this is.
It takes practice - if you're not used to showing how you feel, it takes practice to become comfortable with it. A few months back I was angry with a guy for something he'd said, so I told him. Two of the other people who were present said it was weird - I'd said I was angry, but they couldn't detect any anger in me, other than me using the word. I didn't look or act angry. This really made me think about how I present myself to people when I have something to say to them, and since then I've found a whole new level of expression, much more real, much more satisfying, and much more attractive.
So I guess I could sum up what I've learned as "Say less, be more, and show it". I'm still a work in progress, so sometimes I still hide what I feel, talk too much, be nice because I think I should etc, but that's ok, learning to be human takes time, effort and risk. Feeling more, expressing more, being more myself, the whole 'bad boy' idea becomes a non-issue. Why be a bad boy when you can be a man?
And in true Player_Supreme style, here's some quotes from the ladies to show how they feel about me:
"You're so confident, that's very attractive."
"You're so strong, I love that. You're really sexy."
"You're such a fantastic man. I just want to be with you."
"It's good to get the juices flowing."
This has turned into a long*ss post, and I've no idea how relevant you'll find it. Guess I've just had this stuff to say for a while, and it seemed on topic.
I'm not a 'bad boy', and I don't try and project that image or act that way. I admit there've been times I've tried and on me it just looks stupid, because it's an act, it's not me. Going around glaring at everyone doesn't get girls, it gets you into fights.
I've always been nice, friendly, open, honest, accommodating, interested in people, sensitive etc. Most people have these traits, nothing new there. What I realised is that it wasn't enough. Great if you want to be friends with everyone, but no good at all if you want more. So I started to look at what was missing, and what it is, is edge. I didn't have the confidence to be anything other than affable, friendly and smiley all the time, even when I felt inside like a volcano ready to explode, or like wanting to be playful and stupid.
So what did I have to work with to get a natural edge that comes easily to me? All men have the potential to be exciting, dramatic and passionate. To make a woman feel like she's on a rollercoaster when she meets you. Sometimes everything's calm and moving along smoothly, then suddenly you drop off and all h*ll breaks loose. All I had to do was to stop suppressing those qualities in me and just be myself.
This quote, using anger as an example, sums up those qualities in me that make me more rounded, whole, and human. And in the process, attract women to me in a more primitive way.
How has my behaviour changed?
1. I react less to what women say. I no longer assume that because they've said something, that they want me to say something back, or to repond verbally in some other way, with a laugh or whatever. Instead, a long look is enough, either with some amusement, appraisal or anger in my eyes.
Those times when in the past I'd be searching for the most appropriate thing to say in response to her, I now just don't say anything. In fact, my clue as to when it's best to keep schtum and pin her down with my eyes is when I find myself trying to work out what to say.
It's impossible to underestimate just how powerful a long, intense, lingering look can be when directed at a woman who's attracted to you. Whether you're looking with compassion, anger, humour, jealousy or whatever other emotion you are feeling at the time, it gives the woman permission to feel intensely what she feels. I've had a girl literally weeping with the intensity of her feelings just from me holding her gaze. I've no idea what she was feeling so strongly about, it doesn't matter, I was the template onto which she was able to feel what she wanted to feel, and I felt good about it.
2. I express what I'm feeling. It's called 'realness' or 'congruence' in some circles. We all have a rollercoaster ride of emotions going on in us all the time - feelings bubbling away under the surface, sometimes bursting out. Showing this fully is what can make a woman feel truly excited to be around us longterm.
Forget the 'bad boy' activities like taking her for a high-speed motorbike ride etc, those are cheap imitations designed to try and get her excited by external means, by guys who don't know how to use themselves to get her excited. When a woman plays games with me and I feel angry, I literally become angry before her eyes. I don't explode unless it's called for, mostly I become intense and tell her fiercely to stop playing games. But I do it for real. Everything about me, my face, my eyes, my voice, my stance, reflects what I'm feeling. If I'm feeling truly excited and happy, then I let that shine through.
Whatever I am feeling, I make a real attempt to (a) be aware of it and (b) be it. This isn't just for women, this is for life. People grow respect for people who can be themselves with no apology. And as far as women go, the more myself I am able to be, the safer it makes a woman feel to be with me. I'm using the word 'safe' in it's instinctive meaning. Women have a primal need to feel safe with their man, not safe in a Nice Guy "He's too much of a wuss to cause me trouble" way.
This is really something. I'm using anger as my main example because I often get p*ssed off with women's craziness. But think about it:
Being really, truly angry with a woman (with reason) can make her feel safe to be with you, and increase her desire to be yours. It gives you solidity in her eyes.
Legal Edit: I'm not talking physical abuse here.
Same with the other emotions. That's pretty deep. Or at least it was for me when I discovered how true this is.
It takes practice - if you're not used to showing how you feel, it takes practice to become comfortable with it. A few months back I was angry with a guy for something he'd said, so I told him. Two of the other people who were present said it was weird - I'd said I was angry, but they couldn't detect any anger in me, other than me using the word. I didn't look or act angry. This really made me think about how I present myself to people when I have something to say to them, and since then I've found a whole new level of expression, much more real, much more satisfying, and much more attractive.
So I guess I could sum up what I've learned as "Say less, be more, and show it". I'm still a work in progress, so sometimes I still hide what I feel, talk too much, be nice because I think I should etc, but that's ok, learning to be human takes time, effort and risk. Feeling more, expressing more, being more myself, the whole 'bad boy' idea becomes a non-issue. Why be a bad boy when you can be a man?
And in true Player_Supreme style, here's some quotes from the ladies to show how they feel about me:
"You're so confident, that's very attractive."
"You're so strong, I love that. You're really sexy."
"You're such a fantastic man. I just want to be with you."
"It's good to get the juices flowing."
This has turned into a long*ss post, and I've no idea how relevant you'll find it. Guess I've just had this stuff to say for a while, and it seemed on topic.
!
