Losing Interest & Thinking You Can Do Better

[Masculinity]

I have been seeing the same girl--along with a few plates--for about 11 months. She's an Asian HB7 with a submissive personality, super high IL, but was neglected/physically abused as a child. The woman treats me like a king: writes me letters, takes me out to eat, secks whenever I want, extremely loyal, thoughtful, cooks for me, etc. I have dated a lot of women and this type is rare in the U.S., not to mention almost non-existent in White women ( my second population of interest after Asians). That's the good part.

The bad part is that, in the last few months, my interest in her has declined. It is as if the original attraction I had for her diminished and I became interested in other women. Now, here is the rub: she moved 1,600 miles from another state to attend college near me. I have thought about letting her go, but she is so invested in the relationship that--at the smallest sign of my disinterest--she makes sure that I am satisfied and happy. As a result, I feel guilty when I consider dating other girls. As a side note, I did tell her that she is my "main girl," jokingly saying I have other girls. She laughed and has told me in the past that she doesn't want to know if I have any other girls. However, she has asked me directly if I would be her boyfriend and I said if she was near me she would (hence, why she moved). I made it super clear that she shouldn't move just for me, in case we broke up. And she decided to come out anyway.

I'm on the fence here between three things: (1) keep seeing her and drop my plates, (2) keep seeing her and keep my plates, or (3) let her go and acquire one or two new plates. What do other DJs think?

 

[jurry]

How can someone else answer that for you?

She doesnt care if you are smashing other girls or have other girlfriends so do that, or let her go if you feel too guilty.

 

[Masculinity]

How can someone else answer that for you?

She doesnt care if you are smashing other girls or have other girlfriends so do that, or let her go if you feel too guilty.

I'm not looking for someone to answer the question for me. I'm just looking for other perspectives on the situation. Ultimately, we all make our own decisions. We come to the forum, though, to make more informed decisions based on the experiences and support of others.

 

[El Payaso]

It will take her absence or losing her for you to realize that you actually had something good going with her.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Sometimes, rather than searching for an answer, or debating different options, we can simply re-frame the question(s).

-Other than basically being my slave, else do I actually like about this girl?
-Is this situation evolving in to something other (more) than the norm?
-Am I/is she losing interest?
-Would I be willing to genuinely be exclusive with her, or would I inevitably cheat/dump her in the end?
-Would I be willing to leave my batchelor life/other girls behind?
-Am I willing to lose her for good?

You don't have to ask all these, just the right one.

A good question is two thirds of the answer.

 

[G_Govan]

She's of lower SMV than you. There's nothing you can do in your head to fix that.

Keep her as your main and have occasional flings on the side. I actually think that's a natural, pleasant course for a man to take if he can manage it.

 

[Innovator]

wife her up srs

What do you mean by srs?

 

[Obsidian]

You haven't articulated what you dislike about her, so I would keep her. If you're gonna dump someone, come up with something concrete.

 

[nugama]

Do you care for her?
That's the real question.
If you care for her at all, let her go. She will be miserable with you, but she wont ever leave.
So, if you have no issue subjugating another being for your own gain - then keep her.

She has a chance of finding a guy that wont use her and will love her. On the other hand, many guys will enslave her.

I am guessing that since you asked your not super unhealthy. Wanting to enslave a girl is just another form of insecurity. Wanting to be with a girl like that is also a form of insecurity(I am one of these).
Healthy people get turned off after the honeymoon stage with a BPD. So your probably a healthy person, in which case - let her go to find someone else who is insecure.

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

What are you trying to gain out of the dating world if you got all that in one person?

You said in America you are not getting even half of what this lady brings to the table, whats wrong with you?

I guess the same thing wrong with a female who has a man who moves the world for her and she wants to cheat on him. Something about being treated like gold makes them lose attraction.

If the female doesn't mind you smashing females on the side, then do that. My question is why?
_
How could you ever be in an LTR relation with another especially in this culture when you know they will pale in comparison?

 

[prison/con.net]

I think that you're a **** for not treating her properly, frankly.

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

I think that you're a **** for not treating her properly, frankly.

He's doing it because he can.

I'm not saying it's a good thing but look at why females cheat on their husbands who can be good earners, even attractive men....

 

[Masculinity]

It will take her absence or losing her for you to realize that you actually had something good going with her.

I thought about this possibility. It is definitely there.

Sometimes, rather than searching for an answer, or debating different options, we can simply re-frame the question(s).

-Other than basically being my slave, else do I actually like about this girl?
-Is this situation evolving in to something other (more) than the norm?
-Am I/is she losing interest?
-Would I be willing to genuinely be exclusive with her, or would I inevitably cheat/dump her in the end?
-Would I be willing to leave my batchelor life/other girls behind?
-Am I willing to lose her for good?

You don't have to ask all these, just the right one.

A good question is two thirds of the answer.

Haha, she is not my slave. Although, some of the questions you mentioned did make a lot of sense. Thank you for the contribution, brother.

Do you care for her?
That's the real question.
If you care for her at all, let her go. She will be miserable with you, but she wont ever leave.
So, if you have no issue subjugating another being for your own gain - then keep her.

She has a chance of finding a guy that wont use her and will love her. On the other hand, many guys will enslave her.

I am guessing that since you asked your not super unhealthy. Wanting to enslave a girl is just another form of insecurity. Wanting to be with a girl like that is also a form of insecurity(I am one of these).
Healthy people get turned off after the honeymoon stage with a BPD. So your probably a healthy person, in which case - let her go to find someone else who is insecure.

I'm starting to see a trend in the responses to this thread. I suspect the way I wrote the text or the way readers interpreted may have come off as something other than what I intended.

(1) I am not using this girl.
(2) I very much appreciate having her in my life and treat her accordingly.
(3) She is not BPD. That's an assumption you're making.
(4) All people have some form of insecurity. Anyone who says otherwise, is lying to himself and to others.