Losing Friends

[Don Rooster]

As you can see I'm fairly new here but I'd just like to say thank you to everyone that has helped me out so far.

I'm a recovering AFC and having experienced all this stuff first hand has helped me immensely.

However, I have recently stumbled upon a consequence of my recovery. Because I'm now a guy that doesn't take cr*p from anyone and won't stand for being disrespected, I've kinda fallen out with a lot of my best friends. Maybe not fallen out but I don't hang out or contact them much if at all.

Now these 10 or so people were my best friends, I'd do something with one of them every weekend. But now I'm having weekends where I have no offers at all and truth be told, whilst I feel I'm much more of a man than I was, I'm not having nearly as much fun.

A few of them are girls who I acted totally AFC with *cringe* and let them disrespect me, the rest are guys, and whilst I do enjoy their company, they have disappointed me in some way.

My problem is what to do. Do I act like everything is like it was before and get in touch and hang out? Or do I forget about them, and whilst my social life may suffer in the short run, risk it and hope that I will make new better friends? I don't know if I'm being too harsh on them. Let me know anyway. Thanks guys.

 

[BigAL]

Don,

The price of being a man, saying goodbye to the friends who are at their limit for now maybe forever, years ago I went through a HUGE change (positive) within a year and virtually no one was left standing...it can be challengeing to remain on your path of growth and watch past relationships disappear and still be totally committed to your vision of yourself. In the end you will be one of the few, the price of being a whole and complete man.

 

[KontrollerX]

They've outgrown their usefullness to your life and though it may sound harsh that is the truth.

They are reminders of the man you've been and can hold back the man you now are and are becoming.

Cast off the dead weight and move onto new and better social networks for yourself that prop up and support who you are now.

It may take work and you may be a bit lonely for a while but no one ever said the work of becoming a man was easy.

 

[reset]

I actually did this in reverse. I had good friends and an active social life then a few things happened and I stopped going out and started staying in an doing things that were not good for me and hanging with people who were worse than the ones I left behind.

Now I want to go back to where I was way the frick back when. It will be different this time but it will be different than now which is what matters. The good side is, right now there really is no one I have to worry about leaving behind. Everyone's already gone.

 

[BandOfBrothers]

They've outgrown their usefullness to your life and though it may sound harsh that is the truth.

I agree. Happens to me whenever I undergo a major change for the better. It's the natural course of events for most of us. Solution? Find some new friends that are more compatible with the new you.

 

[WC2]

They've outgrown their usefullness to your life and though it may sound harsh that is the truth.

They are reminders of the man you've been and can hold back the man you now are and are becoming.

Cast off the dead weight and move onto new and better social networks for yourself that prop up and support who you are now.

It may take work and you may be a bit lonely for a while but no one ever said the work of becoming a man was easy.

Totally agree. They are simply just reminders of what you would be if you hadn't improved upon yourself. You don't have to totally ignore your old friends, but move on to newer ones. Move on to friends who are on your level and will challenge you.

Like Kontroller said, you may feel as if you lost all of your friends at first, but new ones will come.

All that you are worth isn't really about your friends. It's about your value as a man and what you can do on your own.