Losing All Hope

[brahmabull2]

I had seen the movie "Spiderman 2" about a month ago. Why this movie comes to my mind is that there is a particular issue in the film that covers the topic of self confidence and personal power. When Peter finds out that Mary Jane has decided to move forward with her life, his spider powers literally shut off as well as his self-confidence. And, as a result, he quits being what made him unique or special. Well, after he realizes that his life shouldn't be affected by the actions/opinion of one person or the one he has always loved, he begins to get his confidence back by refocusing more on himself of being what he trully was meant to be which is Spiderman. The next thing you know he gets his powers back and you know what...he even gets the girl (sorry to ruin the movie for those who haven't seen it yet).

And just recently this kinda applied to me when I decided to take a chance and ask the girl that I've liked for a long time out on a date only to be rejected in the end. My level of confidence was at an all time low and self-doubt about my own qualities were at question. It got to a point where changing the very things that brought me entertainment was at a point of being terminated from my life. For example, most girls can't stand it when guys play video games. Well, your reading a thread from a guy who likes to play video games and has been since the age of 8. And believe it or not, the thought of actually giving this favorite past time up just to be more attractive to women did cross my mind.

So, it was only a couple of days ago where i felt that there was no way in hell my confidence would ever come back to me nor any woman would ever have anything to do with me ever again. BUT, something happened to me a few nights ago that has changed my attitude about women from that point forward.

I was surfing the net on tarot card stuff which is my way of searching for answers that no one but stars and the fates can answer for me. Well, after being mildly amused from my readings, my pointer wandered to my list of favorites. As the list of sites began scrolling downward, my eyes caught one site that hasn't been visited in ages...The Don Juan Center. So, out of desperation for finding anwers, my finger clicked on the site without any hesitation.

For the last couple of nights I began reading just about every free tip, feature article and quick bit advice that was on the site and really tried to pay attention and understand how this applied to my girl problems. Sure, months ago, reading this stuff for the first time really didn't sink in with me but, reading this stuff again and again...and again now had more meaning. The first time reading this stuff didn't really help me cause no risks of trying to date and hook-up had happened at that time. Now, things are different and after experiencing one heartbreak after another, the advice really hit home with me this time.

So, how does this apply to me Spiderman story? Well, after reading all that info., it enpowered me and gave me back my confidence and personal power back because it made me realize that heartache is all part of the game and not letting it destroy truly makes you even more confident and Don Juanish. Basically, my confidence came back to me when i realized that this girl's rejection of me doesn't matter cause only thing it will do is make me a complete emotional mess making other opportunities that could come my way unattainable. So, if you're reading this long thread, please take it to heart and don't let some chic who doesn't care about you make you into a jelly of a man. BE A MAN and show her and the world that you won't let her actions be your downfall but, your ressurection into someone who is twice as strong as you were before you fell for her. Focus on yourself for awhile and not on that dream girl as far as being a better man both physically and mentally and everything will once again fall into place. And if this doesn't help, remember what my brother has always told me..."man, only thing these hoes want these days is a free meal". : )

 

[WestCoaster]

Welcome back to the real world

This site is amazing, isn't it? Rejection is just an action ... lord I wish I would've known that in my teens and 20's. It doesn't mean you're a bad person, it means either the other person just doesn't want to date you (that's not a crime) or more likely, she's a dumb broad who likes dirtbags and has once again made a bad choice.

AFCism is the scrouge of mankind. It's gets men to think less of themselves, it gets men to dive into meaningless relationships and marry worthless women, it gets men to devalue themselves and take jobs/careers beneath them. It gets men to give up their masculinity. We've all been told by society and TV that we're not good, we're bumbling fools, that we should be lucky to be with women, and that we can't really get the great job, career, house, that we should try to earn. And now we're told that we need gay guys (Queer Eye for the Straight Guy) to tell us how to live ... and I'm far from homophobic, but the theory of this entire show is once again the heterosexual man just doesn't get it.

Where did this come from? I don't know, some blame feminism, but it's not entirely that. It's the buying into a stupid, sick culture.

You liked a woman, she didn't return those affections. Society -- probably popular radio, some AFC song -- told you that you should be full of despair and longing, and that you should have the suicide hotline number within arm's reach.

B.S.

This board is the only place I've found in the U.S. culture that tells you how to live right.

Welcome back or welcome aboard. Glad you've read the articles. Remember, women are fun to have around but if they don't want to be with you, so what? It's not the end of the world.

 

[Bungo Pony]

One thing that I've learned that is most important in life is never base your happiness on someone else's existance. Many men base their whole foundation of happiness on the woman that is in their life. They convince themselves that they cannot have a foundation of happiness if there is no woman in their life. They have never tried the alternative: basing your foundation of happiness on yourself.

When you base your foundation of happiness on someone else, and that person leaves, all that you've built on that foundation come crumbling down, and you have to start building from scratch again.

You cannot reject yourself. You cannot leave yourself. You cannot send yourself mixed signals. You're stuck with yourself all your life. If you base your foundation of happiness on yourself, you'll never have to completely rebuild again. A few bricks of your life may have to be replaced, but that's very minor in comparison to rebuilding completely.

I wish you luck on your new found path to life. Use this information well.

 

[GirlCrazy]

Fear of rejection is the devil.

Put yourself in the mindset that Bungo Pony gave you and go out and start getting rejected until it no longer bothers you.

Take a 5 day span, do 10 approaces a day, and try to get 10 rejections a day, for a total of 50.

Life is too short to have any fear of anything, good luck!

 

[WestCoaster]

Yep, go out and get those rejections ...

... you can do it!

It's like building up scar tissue ... oh how I wished I knew this stuff when I was younger.

Look, women reject men for a myriad of reasons, most of them wrong. They have no clue what they're doing, thus the high divorce rate and continual attraction to bad boy abusers (be it physical or emotional abuse).

So when you look at rejection as the WOMAN'S problem, not yours, you'll go far. For example, every woman who ever rejected me was whacko!

* Yes, never base your life on a partner. I have horror AFC stories of friends and cousins whose lives are now ruined because they based their life on women.

Now go out and get those rejections!

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Don't hope - become!!