losing a game of phone tag.

[ogre]

losing a game of phone tag.....

thank you all for you help with my last post. according to what you all have advised I seem to be doing things basically right, that is, I'm not a DJ, I'm still a newbie, but at least I seem to hold my own around women. but still, I can't seem to make the magic happen, y'know, like some of you guys can tweak a girl's emotions like a dial to where she's calling you so much she's practically stalking. It's still me doing the calling. This is not good.


there are also some logistical problems. I can't meet 10 girls per day because I simply don't have that kind of free time. I don't get out much. I work from home and spend a of time alone. when I do go out and about I'm not shy and don't have a problem talking to girls, but for me to go out, like into the city where the girls are, it's a 45-minute drive. So I gotta make the best of what I can find.

anyway, I did eventually take this girl out, the one I wrote about before. She seemed to like me and things seemed to go well, I showed her a good time, yada yada yada. So now I'm thinking hey this DJ stuff seems to be working, she digs me, I'm gonna score, my chump days are over...... but alas, it is not to be......

I called her again, got voice-mailed......

she called me back a day or two later, we made a date..... so far so good......

she called me the day-of the date to say "sorry, I gotta work, please call me later....."

I called 2 days later, said "got your message , no prob, you gotta work you gotta work, maybe we can do something this week but I have this deadline I have to deal with, I dunno, we'll figure something out, I'll be home tommorrow night of you wanna call."

that was saturday. she hasn't called back. attempted to call on Sunday, got voice-mailed. tried again the next eve, voice-mailed again. I hung up again. This, I know, is bad. really really bad.

at this point I'm starting to revert to my old wussy ways, and the only thing left to do now is do nothing. walk away. if that's the way it is then that's the way it is.

so, how did this happen? how can everything seem to go so well and then just get killed in phone-tag? How do I turn this around? I should have girls calling ME, dammit!! how do I make this happen?

 

[yellowspeed]

Dude! Your story is eeriely similar to mine.

I went out with this girl and she says she had a good time and would love to go out again.

I ask her out again later in person one day and she accepts and tells me to give her a call because she lost my # along with her phone and she now has a new one, I have twice and never hear from her.

 

[decades]

my simple explanation is that these girls are "taken". they simply agreed to go out with you on a whim, or by chance you swept them off their feet and were better than their current squeeze. girls do things, and when they have time to think about what they did, realize they better chill or they may screw up what they already got. if they don't give you a second date it means they don't want to get any more involved. and many girls are simply good actresses so you think they had a great time on date one. NEXT!

 

[Genghis Juan]

You're doing a good job learning the ropes. Take your falls and learn from them. After you go out with a girl once, things should progress regularly from there. In other words, she should return your calls; the communication should be there. If it isn't, as it was in your case, then she is not interested. There could be a dozen reasons, none of which are important. The only thing that is important to you should be what you get out of it, and if you are getting nothing out of it, or aren't progressing, you move on. Not a big deal.

Actually, I went back to read your posts regarding this girl. It seems to me, that from day one, she wasn't sincerely interested in you. One lesson here, is that although a girl gives you her phone number, and its really hers, it still doesn't mean that it will lead to a date. You scheduled for a date, then she had a convenient excuse to cancel. At that point, you should have cut contact and considered it a brush off. Things with a girl should move forward, not sideways. Its just like sales. When you are pushing a product, and the other person is giving you excuses not to buy, move on.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Re: losing a game of phone tag.....

Originally posted by ogre
sorry, I gotta work, please call me later....."

I called 2 days later, said "got your message , no prob, you gotta work you gotta work, maybe we can do something this week

I wouldn't have called her. No way in hell would I have called her after that.

 

[Doppler4000]

Assuming she doesn't turn up again, which I doubt, here's the truth. You didn't get lost in phone tag. When she cancelled the date the way she did due to "work" it was because she was no longer interested in going out (maybe she never was). Chicks who are interested will keep dates, return calls, etc.. That's all there is to it. The thing is, once you start meeting more and getting more confident- the flakes that do happen (and they do happen) won't be a big deal anymore.

 

[TheRock]

I agree judge her by her actions and you will never be confused .
No return phone calls = not interested