Lose my ****y/funny side once im "in"

[Hoogie]

Problem im having is that whenever I'm in (sure that somethings gonna happen as long as I dont serious fu<k things up) with a chick at the start of a relationship i lose my ****y/funny side... im not as fun to be with and I dont joke around as much and I belive my sense of fun is one of the best parts of my personality.
I try to fix this and keep in my head that fact that i gotta keep cool and still be funny and joke around and sometimes it helps, but most of the time it makes things worse because I'm putting the pressure on myself

Anyone have this problem?? or anyone got any tips or midsets they use once they're in to stop this from happening??

Even tho I'm "in" I think that if its a really really HB who im trying to get with, and she knows the game, I might lose out if it gets to serious.
Its seriously pi$$ing me off and any tips to take the presure off would be awesome.

Thanks

 

[Delta]

i think EVERYONE has this problem at some point or another. it's called CHOKING in sports right?

ONCE YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO LOSE, you get conservative. it happens in gambling, in american life (hippies turning to conservative republicans!), etc etc.

hey, didn't you ever watch TOP GUN? cougar man! cougar lost it! was hanging on too tight!

and you're right, you gotta be loose and funny to keep it going.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

tough one... i've basically tried to ZEN OUT... mind f myself so i don't think about winning or losing.

the idea is:

HAVE NO ATTACHMENT TO OUTCOME.

in all aspects, whether it's flying an f14 or writing a book, or dating/mating, if you're worried about how something will turn out, you're unlikely to be ACTUALLY DOING IT WELL!

so think about that. if that doesn't help, get some books on meditation.

you can exercise your mind so that certain things become clearer and you become less fearful and able to transcend or step out from within the storm of your feelings.

it's tough. but it's doable. and it must be learned by EVERYONE who has to perform. michael jordan, tiger woods, maverick after he loses goose.

so common hurtle. we can find a way.

delta

 

[Hoogie]

Cheers man
That actually helps when i think bout it
I'll try....

"Its all the mind. Its all in the mind"
Just gotta zone out from outcome enough and let the good times roll

 

[The Truth]

Good advice from Delta. Basically at the start of a relationship you should be taking it one step at a time, with no long term outcome in mind. Don't look beyond your next date and focus on making it enjoyable.

I'm not so sure you need the ****y/funny stuff exactly, but you do need to keep things lighthearted and enjoyable. Getting too serious too soon will scare any woman away!

 

[Scorched]

same

I have the same problem... Last night I drank a little on a date with a girl I've been seeing for about a month & a 1/2... It really helped loosen me up and bring out my sense of humor... I don't plan on drinking on the first date though... heh