Looks vs. Compatibility

[my_handle]

Hello gentlemen,

This is my first post on sosuave. I'm in my thirties and have been in the game for a long time prior to the existence of pickup theories and such. You guys have quite the advantage, since we had to figure out all of this stuff on our own via trial and error!

I'm just getting out of a relationship I've been in for over 2 years. Things started out great (don't they always?) but there's been no point in our being together the last two months. She's increasingly controlling, jealous, and frequently in a bitter mood.

She's gained a noticeable amount of weight, to the point where my initial attraction is no longer there anymore, either physically or emotionally.


Now, I could get back out there and play the field, but I'd really prefer to be in a relationship. Here's my situation...

...on the one hand, the girls who I find physically attractive are younger, late teen to mid twenties.

However, the girls I click with and enjoy spending time with are closer to my age: late 20's, early 30's.

So I find myself between a rock and a hard place.

The girls I'm having sex with are all younger, 18-23, but I find I have little in common with them. Even their facebook messages are really annoying.

I'm hoping to find that complete package of looks and personality, but right now, I'm either getting one or the other.

How did you guys handle this?

 

[ken chang]

From my experience, there is no "complete package", or at least I haven't seen one. Except the difference I see is not in the age.

Rather, the average looking girls have a better personality. The hotter the girl, the more b!tchy. I have yet to find a really hot girl with a nice personality.

 

[The Experience]

This must depend on where you look, I'm sure there are good-looking women in there late 20's-mid 30's. Just try to think if you were the woman you were looking for, where would you be? (Sounds like a fun game, no?)

 

[S0LID]

I'd be straight up and tell her "your putting on weight, we need to sort this".

I've been thinking of this too. I think you need to find a girl who ages well, and takes care of herself. If she's always got her hand in a bad of doritoes, something either has to change, or you have to find a more suitable girl.

You don't want to be in your 40s sharing a bed with Jo Brand.

 

[my_handle]

Well, that's the thing.

Many of my friends are already married (some divorced too). It's interesting to see their wives, now generic heavy moms, and dude is stuck with her for life. No sex, either, even if they wanted it.

Several of them openly complain about the situation, it's no secret. When you see their high school photos and compare them with how they look now, it's pretty interesting.