Looking your worst is a good thing...

[I-am-someone]

Let me share something with you guys.
I just moved out on my own a while ago. Since then, I haven't been able to do my laundry. Fortunatly, I have plenty of clothes to work through. Unfortunatly, not all of those clothes look as great as they should.

The last 20 days I have been going from my nicest clothes, to worse, to wearing dirty black t-shirts, dirty pants and three day old socks. The most interesting thing of this all, is that these 20 days, the worse my clothes got, the more women were interested in me. Ofcourse I still do my best to look okay, taking care of my physical appearance. Now, it has gotten to the point where girls are coming on to me without me doing anything, where old women are trying to make a pass at me (WHY do they DO that?!?!).

So, what do you think that makes me think? That wearing cheap, dirty clothes makes me more attractive? No that would be too easy.

The secret behind it, I believe, is that these clothes make me stronger. When you're parading around in your fancy shirt, with your expensive watch, your expensive shoes etc, it isn't really you. The confidence you have, comes from the time you have put into your appearance and into your clothing, not from within.
Now, when you remove those fancy things, and leave yourself without all the and grooming, you end up with nothing but who you really are.

Once you've gotten past the fact that you suddenly don't have all those attributes for your confidence, real confidence can suddenly arise. Confidence about who you are, instead of about what you have and what you wear.

This is ofcourse only one aspect. The other aspect, is that pretty packages don't always make people percieve things better than they are, they make them percieve them worse. I'll try to explain this the best I can.

Let's just say, there are two differently designed pieces of paper.
One paper, has a lot of cool graphics on it, really cool fonts, great layout and everything. The text on that piece of paper is average.
The other paper is a brown piece of paper, with the same text on it, but handwritten.

Now, which one of these two texts seems most authentic when you would just happen to read either one of them without having seen the other paper?
It will be the brown piece of paper. Even if you think otherwise reading this, the human mind just works this way for some reason.

The same is true for a man's appearance. If you put too much time into your clothes, your hair and all that, it may impress her for just a little bit but it also creates a higher pedestal for you to fall from.
If you start off at a pedestal that isn't too high, you can never fall nearly as hard, and you will also be more reachable for women.

Attractive women will do the same thing. They will put in a lot of time to make themselves look better, and put themselves on a self-created pedestal. In fact, we know that all they want is to be knocked off that pedestal, so they can let go of their fake confidence and show us who they really are.

The point I'm trying to make is that you shouldn't spend too much time on looking good. Just look 'okay' and let your confidence and personality shine through. It will get you far more respect and better success with women.



Please comment, I won't mind it if you take my post and split it to comment on different parts .

 

[Snowyk]

You make a damn good point.

You can do just as well rocking up to uni with bed hair, a pair of trakkies and a creased band tee as you can out on the town covered in brand names etc.

 

[I'm Joe Dirt]

I disagree completley.

When you do get a nice shirt and fancy shoes or something it gives you confidence because you DO look good. Girls also are more fashionable and pay attention to things ilke brand names and style.

I also disagree with the authenticity thing. By your logic not using deodorant or cologne would be also a good thing because naturally you smell so it makes you more authentic. Well we all know that's not the case!

We are all aware that stuff like makeup on girls, accessories like bracelets, etc. and on men stuff like suits or fancy shirts are fake and designed to make a person look better than they may otherwise, but thats part of what we like about some people, and at the very least we don't pay attention to the fact its fake. If clothes are done right they stand out to make you look good, but obviously not too much so that you look like you put TOO much time into them.

It shows that you do care about your appearance, that you do take the time out of your day to look good, and that you have good fashion sense. As a general rule you want to aim for the best possible attire that is still appropriate for the occasion - example: don't wear a suit to the mall, but do wear at least a polo or something other than a wife beater shrit with stains on it. And if you're at a restaurant, you definitley want something more presentable than a cheap polo, maybe a regular shirt with a collar (but not the suit type but the type with designs on them) and dress shoes instead of old gym shoes.

Now stop trying to justify your laziness and do a wash!

 

[Ricky]

I think it's the attitude you project.

Like today I was in a cool shirt and looking great. I was friendly though. I wasn't acting like some arrogant or stuck up pissed off guy (like alot of guys look like)

But I have also had the days where I was unshaven, I didnt feel like I looked my best. I've been approached those days as well. I think it's because when I don't look my best, I withdraw a bit and am definitely not needy acting as I try to avoid contact with girls.

So I can see both coins. But overalll looking your best is important.

It is weird. I got alot of attention today (more than usual at least) but 3 weeks ago I was wearing a wife beater and got alot of attention.

Then there are the days one feels invisible.

I'll never understand women, but I'll assume they all like me and roll with it!

 

[h2o]

Originally posted by I-am-someone
If you put too much time into your clothes, your hair and all that, it may impress her for just a little bit but it also creates a higher pedestal for you to fall from.

I totally agree with this. When I had first began to change my ways, I put a lot of emphasis on appearance. I remember attending a few parties where I would walk in and the girls would just stare at me…lots of them checked me out. I would wear the nicest clothes, shoes, and jewelry…I was on a pedestal.

But I fell, and I fell fast, because I had barely any social skills, I had fear of talking to them, and I couldn’t make eye contact or smile or anything. So, I learned moderation.

I disagree with you somewhat because you are a bit too extreme with it. I still wear pretty nice clothes, and occasionally like to wear something extra nice to stand out…it’s especially effective when I have the confidence that keeps me from falling off the pedestal (though it is not as high).

Still, what you are saying is very true. I think it is in part due to the fact that when you don’t spend much time on your appearance, it shows you don’t give a sh!t…and when you don’t give a sh!t, you absolutely do nail more women.

I think this sort of topic has been discussed many times, and I doubt anyone has a definite answer for why you get more girls when you look crappy or are having a crappy day. It’s odd. Just the other day I hadn’t showered because I woke up late, and just pulled on a shirt and jeans; this cute hb smiled and waved at me (I don’t know her), without me doing sh!t.

This is one of those topics that still intrigues me. When I have sh!tty days, I get hit on and approached.

 

[strong like bull]

confidence is still confidence.
insecurity is still insecurity.

sure, putting no effort into your appearance may relax you...

but it is possible to be confident and relaxed while looking like a GQ model. i could only speak for myself, but id rather be handsome and confident than sloppy and confident.

-SLB

 

[bud_2005]

I'm sure many metros are crushed by reading this

 

[BrotherAP]

Well, your description of how you looked was very vague, so I can't say why I think you were being approached. I see there being a couple of possibilities.

Maybe your 'worse' clothes simply made you look tough. Instead of your typical hollister screen T-shirts, or your American Eagle polos, you were wearing your torn jeans with a tight plain white shirt that showed off your chest. Throw in a six-o-clock shadow, and your in like sin. Some looks can be unexpectedly sexy, you know.

Or maybe, without all of your fancy stuff, you looked more attainable and therefore more approachable and that's why you were approached more. It wasn't that women were more interested, just less intimidated.

 

[darth yoda]

The secret behind it, I believe, is that these clothes make me stronger. When you're parading around in your fancy shirt, with your expensive watch, your expensive shoes etc, it isn't really you. The confidence you have, comes from the time you have put into your appearance and into your clothing, not from within.

I see your point, but when I wear my nice clothes, its not the clothes that give me power and confidence. It's my mentality and physique. I work hard on my body, getting into shape, so it's only right I put good clothing on it to display my hard work.

So in short, I disagree. My confidence comes from within...and my exterior does not contradict that.

 

[undesputable]

Originally posted by darth yoda


So in short, I disagree. My confidence comes from within...

i think what the original poster is trying to say is just that...it doesnt matter if youre not wearing gucci or just a plain shirt...the confidence comes from you, not the brand youre wearing... I dont wear any fancy brands at all, i just dress plainly, and i try my best to look good without spending 100s of dollars, and that really doesnt affect my game at all.

Then i see little pvssies wearing dolce gabanna, prada and **** like that...that cant pull a ****ing fat *****