HughJasolphd
Don Juan
This may be a bit of a long post but to understand the situation I'm in its kinda necessary.
I'm a 27yr old man who is probably here for many of the same reasons you all are; live a more fulfilling life, pick & choose from the women you want, & give back to others struggling.
I find myself in a place in life where the next step to take is not only challenging, but exciting & scary in a lot of ways. My successes with women have varied, but the last 3yrs I've been without anything. I was born with cystic fibrosis & I narrowly escaped a lung transplant, had blood clots, & spent well over a year and a half of that time locked down in a hospital. The friends I thought I had took off, the girls that were in my life hit the road too. I lost my job, & ended up living back home with my mother (who is really not a positive influence on my life, aka bad childhood). I got into working out at a very young age & was into competitive bodybuilding in my teens & early 20s. I used the mental strength I gained from that to get my health together for the most part & today I'm looking the best I have in years (7% bodyfat, pretty jacked, lungs feeling good for the function they operate at).
Over the past 3yrs I've taken the time to try & figure out why I have such low self confidence & why I don't approach girls despite looking better than majority of guys in my area. I think it comes back to childhood conditioning of being told I was always the sick kid who'd never amount to ****, so I always felt like I'd be a bother to women. I've slept with 5 girls, but all have come from navigating friend circles, or messaging girls on Instagram.
I feel like now that I'm healthy I need to make up for lost time. I have immersed myself into the redpill world & just finished "The rational male" & had many aha moments as to why things have unfolded in the manner they have for me. My outlook on women has changed significantly over the past few years as a whole & I realize I don't want a relationship at all, but just want to spin plates & have some fun that I didn't have for a very long time. My social skills have gotten better, but I can't figure out escalating by way of conversation (I have absolutely zero issue going for broke when it comes to getting ass though once I know a girl is interested). I'm also realizing that I get bitter or angry at the way a lot of girls manouver through life & kinda treat me like I'm less than they are (I'll do another post explaining that situation).
Right now I'm still living home as I am still picking up the pieces from all the trauma the hospital **** caused on my wallet. I want to get out there more, but I already feel like I'm fighting those voices of being told I'm worthless & nobody will like the "sick kid" despite looking like a shredded athlete.
I believe ive done some good in reading a lot of books & dissecting what's wrong with me & I'm actively fighting back by being more social..but I still have zero proof that what I'm doing is working in terms of meeting girls. If anything, I'm just a more friendly & fun person to talk to. I've always been super sarcastic with people & playful, but I can't seem to parlay that into flirting. I need help.
I want my life to change & I've hit a point where I'm sick of feeling left out. I'm actively looking for a place of my own (through state housing assistance) to get away from the poisonous environment that my mom inhabits, & I got a job at the gym. I'm also working on getting my PT licenses & am working on writing a book on living & dealing with Cystic Fibrosis.
I know this post is long with a lot to take in, but I figure its a good way to introduce myself to the community & show a little of who I am & where I'm at. I will begin posting regularly here & hope to learn a lot from everyone.
Any help, tips, or questions..send em my way. I'm willing to work hard for whatever it is that will get me on track.
I'm a 27yr old man who is probably here for many of the same reasons you all are; live a more fulfilling life, pick & choose from the women you want, & give back to others struggling.
I find myself in a place in life where the next step to take is not only challenging, but exciting & scary in a lot of ways. My successes with women have varied, but the last 3yrs I've been without anything. I was born with cystic fibrosis & I narrowly escaped a lung transplant, had blood clots, & spent well over a year and a half of that time locked down in a hospital. The friends I thought I had took off, the girls that were in my life hit the road too. I lost my job, & ended up living back home with my mother (who is really not a positive influence on my life, aka bad childhood). I got into working out at a very young age & was into competitive bodybuilding in my teens & early 20s. I used the mental strength I gained from that to get my health together for the most part & today I'm looking the best I have in years (7% bodyfat, pretty jacked, lungs feeling good for the function they operate at).
Over the past 3yrs I've taken the time to try & figure out why I have such low self confidence & why I don't approach girls despite looking better than majority of guys in my area. I think it comes back to childhood conditioning of being told I was always the sick kid who'd never amount to ****, so I always felt like I'd be a bother to women. I've slept with 5 girls, but all have come from navigating friend circles, or messaging girls on Instagram.
I feel like now that I'm healthy I need to make up for lost time. I have immersed myself into the redpill world & just finished "The rational male" & had many aha moments as to why things have unfolded in the manner they have for me. My outlook on women has changed significantly over the past few years as a whole & I realize I don't want a relationship at all, but just want to spin plates & have some fun that I didn't have for a very long time. My social skills have gotten better, but I can't figure out escalating by way of conversation (I have absolutely zero issue going for broke when it comes to getting ass though once I know a girl is interested). I'm also realizing that I get bitter or angry at the way a lot of girls manouver through life & kinda treat me like I'm less than they are (I'll do another post explaining that situation).
Right now I'm still living home as I am still picking up the pieces from all the trauma the hospital **** caused on my wallet. I want to get out there more, but I already feel like I'm fighting those voices of being told I'm worthless & nobody will like the "sick kid" despite looking like a shredded athlete.
I believe ive done some good in reading a lot of books & dissecting what's wrong with me & I'm actively fighting back by being more social..but I still have zero proof that what I'm doing is working in terms of meeting girls. If anything, I'm just a more friendly & fun person to talk to. I've always been super sarcastic with people & playful, but I can't seem to parlay that into flirting. I need help.
I want my life to change & I've hit a point where I'm sick of feeling left out. I'm actively looking for a place of my own (through state housing assistance) to get away from the poisonous environment that my mom inhabits, & I got a job at the gym. I'm also working on getting my PT licenses & am working on writing a book on living & dealing with Cystic Fibrosis.
I know this post is long with a lot to take in, but I figure its a good way to introduce myself to the community & show a little of who I am & where I'm at. I will begin posting regularly here & hope to learn a lot from everyone.
Any help, tips, or questions..send em my way. I'm willing to work hard for whatever it is that will get me on track.
