So its the beginning of a long warm summer and i want to continue dating several girls. However, I'm also interested in an LTR if the right girl stays around/shows she is worth it. How long do you guys recommend dating a girl before agreeing to exclusivity to make sure you know whats shes all about, a few months? What kinds of things can you say when they ask if you're dating other people or asking for exclusivity to avoid losing them while not just stringing them along like an @sshole if you're unsure or just want to enjoy dating multiple woman for awhile longer?
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Looking for tips or diversions for the "exclusivity talk"
- Thread starter jurry
- Start date
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TheGambino
Master Don Juan
Let her talk about that, it's not your job. You f8ck her good, give her a good time and she will start about exclusivity. Just answer 'ye sure baby im all yours' then make out and f8ck her like she never f8cked before that's it.
1. Agree with gambino, never bring it up.
2. Don't do "commitment" things, no whole weekend dates, meeting family, friends, group dates with friends, company parties, their or your housework or DIY projects. Get together, have fun for a few hours or even most of a day, then do it again next week.
3. Never "help" them when they start up with it and are stumbling and floating the BS open ended "what are we?" questions. Expect them to speak and form ideas like adults, not weewee children. Answer bad questions with questions that expect a definitive answer. "What are we? well what do you want us to be?" when they give their lame answer and turn it back on you, "well I want to keep having the same good times we've been having lately!" Keep deflecting until a definite, reasonable request comes out of their mouths, "I want us to be exclusive, I want us to see only each other, etc"
4. Always use their exclusivity requests to get some firm groundrules out there. "What does just dating each other mean to you?" then listen, then "well what it means to me is we both make changes in our lives including XYZ."
For me personally the XYZ are 1. we don't go out to bars often or complain if we aren't "going out" more than one and infrequently two times a week. We very rarely go out where to parties or where there will be alcohol without each other 2. All drinking buddy orbiter friends of the opposite sex, all remotely recent exes, all pseudo friends who aren't or won't become friends of the relationship near instantly MUST GO, no exceptions. Only "real friends" not attention supply are around. 3. We never flirt with opposite sex no matter who is around or not, we don't keep ongoing flirtations at work. We let any work people who call at night "to discuss the project... but really to flirt" to talk about "the big deal" at work. We tell people unequivocally that we are in a relationship and firmly rebuff advances. We don't ever say "aw, he was just being friendly."
The XYZ for you may be totally different, but use their exclusivity requests as opportunities, if you are going to give them something they want, they are going to give you what you want. Make that crystal clear such that they can't rationalize or squirm around later. They will rationalize and squirm anyway, you will just have a pat response to repeat over and over, "remember when we had our exclusive talk? I was not joking around."
2. Don't do "commitment" things, no whole weekend dates, meeting family, friends, group dates with friends, company parties, their or your housework or DIY projects. Get together, have fun for a few hours or even most of a day, then do it again next week.
3. Never "help" them when they start up with it and are stumbling and floating the BS open ended "what are we?" questions. Expect them to speak and form ideas like adults, not weewee children. Answer bad questions with questions that expect a definitive answer. "What are we? well what do you want us to be?" when they give their lame answer and turn it back on you, "well I want to keep having the same good times we've been having lately!" Keep deflecting until a definite, reasonable request comes out of their mouths, "I want us to be exclusive, I want us to see only each other, etc"
4. Always use their exclusivity requests to get some firm groundrules out there. "What does just dating each other mean to you?" then listen, then "well what it means to me is we both make changes in our lives including XYZ."
For me personally the XYZ are 1. we don't go out to bars often or complain if we aren't "going out" more than one and infrequently two times a week. We very rarely go out where to parties or where there will be alcohol without each other 2. All drinking buddy orbiter friends of the opposite sex, all remotely recent exes, all pseudo friends who aren't or won't become friends of the relationship near instantly MUST GO, no exceptions. Only "real friends" not attention supply are around. 3. We never flirt with opposite sex no matter who is around or not, we don't keep ongoing flirtations at work. We let any work people who call at night "to discuss the project... but really to flirt" to talk about "the big deal" at work. We tell people unequivocally that we are in a relationship and firmly rebuff advances. We don't ever say "aw, he was just being friendly."
The XYZ for you may be totally different, but use their exclusivity requests as opportunities, if you are going to give them something they want, they are going to give you what you want. Make that crystal clear such that they can't rationalize or squirm around later. They will rationalize and squirm anyway, you will just have a pat response to repeat over and over, "remember when we had our exclusive talk? I was not joking around."
I have no intentions of bringing it up, im asking how to skillfully divert the conversation when they bring it up to keep multiple plates spinning while not being a complete dîck and just outright lying to them. Maybe something like "i prefer to get to know each other longer and not rush into things" etc.?
What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.
You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.