"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Looking for tips on talking less

TheCWord

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An honest albeit painful self-examination here: Conversation is my greatest skill and greatest weakness. I find that I am naturally funny and witty but I tend to take it too far - looking for opportunities to say something clever, especially when in the presence of attractive women. When the laughter comes it's like crack for me, I start smiling and laughing myself (not a good look on me) and ride the adrenaline to more jokes that are hit or miss...

By the time it's all over, we may have all had some laughs and smiles but I don't feel that anyone has been particularly attracted to me by the experience. Nobody has left thinking, "I can't wait to get TheCWord out again." And it's because they've already seen the whole show.

I aspire to have more of a quiet confidence because, as I said, I get way too giddy in a lot of situations. The problem is I often feel awkward when I try to temper that behavior - I feel like I am a mute watching other people converse, then I feel compelled to contribute. I guess I just don't know what to do myself when in a room full of people conversing.

Another part of my over-correction is looking TOO serious - people often tell me I look sad.

Has anyone on here gone from being a little too chatty and smily like me and converted to a man of quiet confidence who is not TOO quiet or awkward or sad-looking?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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FairShake

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1.) Don't try to be funny all the time.
2.) LISTEN to what they're saying.
3.) Laugh at their jokes.

Don't TRY to be anything other than interested in what they're saying. People, girls or guys, love that sh!t.
 

TheCWord

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This is an excellent response, brad - thank you.

You and FairShake make a good point, and I guess my problem is becoming genuinely interested in other people.

Quite frankly, most of the time I'm just... not :) I'll ask them questions for a little while because I know I'm supposed to act interested, but after a little while Ia lull will come in the conversation and I'll realize I just can't feign interest anymore. :\
 

The Shoe

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Yes, listening and mirroring is key. It's not important that you hang on every word, just learn how to look interested and remember to listen from time to time so you can respond accordingly and make them feel like the most interesting woman in the world.
 
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