Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Looking for some guidance

Mr_rogers

Senior Don Juan
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I've been visiting this site for a good while now, and only recently have I really started to take self improvement seriously. I've made some progress, but there are still a few things that are holding me back.

The biggest one is (of course :rock:) a girl. Now, before everyone starts screaming at me to read the DJ Bible, know that I have (more than once), but I'm willing to reread certain parts if you guys think it'll help me get my head back in shape.

Anyway, I'll give everyone the quickest rundown of the situation possible.

Back when we were both very young (like first grade) myself and this girl went to school together. We never really talked too often, but I always thought that she was quite nice. I moved to a different school in grade four, and didn't see her for a long time.

Recently (last summer, if I remember right) I bumped into her at a store (she was working there). At first I didn't recognize her, but once she told me her name, I suddenly remembered who she was.

Boys, let me tell you... I've fallen hard for girls in my life (and I mean HARD.), but for this one it was something different.

To make a long story short, several events (some of which honestly weren't my fault, though the vast majority were), I ended up coming off as a real loser whenever I spoke to her.

Just to give you guys an idea, my ****ing parents (yeah, that's right. MyPARENTS) asked her for her email for me without me even asking them to (or being around!) so that they could bribe me into doing something for them. I can feel everyone cringing right now.

It went downhill from there. Seeing that I was still an AFC dumbass, I was a total Nice Guy, essentially kissing her ass, desperately trying to date her, but never having the balls to actually ask.

Anyway, to make a long story short, she's upset with me right now (for something I didn't do), yet I still can't let go, even after a year and a half.

My question is as follows:

- Am I as crazy as I think I am for still liking this girl?
- Is it even worth worrying about her anymore? I mean, she's unhappy with me right now, and is playing all sorts of mind-games with me.
- If it isn't worth worrying about, what the hell can I do to stop caring? It's making me miserable in my day to day life.

Thanks for any suggestions, guys.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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duckbutt

Don Juan
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well i think that u should clean up ur act and (i duno if u can) try to lessen the dumb stuff that happenes whenever u r with her. from ur post, it doesnt seem like theres anything wrong with her so i say u should try to talk to her if u really want to. otherwise, if u REALLY think that u care about her, i suggest talking to other girls to get rid of ur oneitis.
 

The Shocker

Senior Don Juan
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With my parents
Yeah, man, let it go. You basically already screwed up, cut off contact with this chick and try your hand with some others. UNLESS you KNOW (and know, not just think) that you can not be an AFC loser around her. And even then, limit contact.
 

Incog

Senior Don Juan
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Like The Shocker said, cut off all contact with her. From what I read, it will be hard for you, but you need to run with the "out of sight, out mind" mindset. Hang out with your guy friends and have a good time. Get your mind off her - you deserve better.
 
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