Looking for some critique here from the DJs..

[RSanders219]

Hey guys, so I went and partied at a friend's college over the weekend right after I had read some of the DJ bible articles that this site hosts. And I gotta say, VERY HELPFUL! Well anyways, we walked into the party which my buddy knows almost everyone at, he introduces me and I say hi shake hands and all that and start drinking. Great start.

So while I'm here I'm having a conversation with two dudes as we play a drinking game and I notice a total babe hanging out here. I start giving her some eye contact and figure "I gotta talk to this chick!" But I played it cool, got up when the game was done and introduced myself. We talked about school, exchanged majors, where we were both from (a few towns away from me), and so on.. Kept firm/good postured stance, didn't lean in when I couldn't hear her that well but said politely "I'm sorry what?" the SHE would proceed to lean in. Kept eye contact during conversation and smiled or laughed when she said something funny. Well, the girl told me she was leaving with her room-mate and they were heading home, so I said "well hey, we should exchange numbers and hang sometime." Got her number and sent her a text right there so she received my number.

Me: "Hey, it's ___ from ____!"
Her: "Hey, it was nice to meet you tonight!"
Me: "You too, stay in touch"

Well, according to the DJ bootcamp article I should wait about 3 days to call this girl up. And since the semester's ending I figured I would invite her to a party at my apartment that weekend about 15 minutes from her hometown. And a few of our mutual friends from the school will be here too. Just wondering if this is a good idea, or should I ask her out for coffee, then pop the party question? Also, feel free to critique me in my technique. Thanks guys!

 

[Jeffst1980]

You are off to a great start. You read the material, and then actually IMPLEMENTED IT in real life...I have no doubt that you will have much success if you continue on this course. Now, let's get down to it:

Well, the girl told me she was leaving with her room-mate and they were heading home, so I said "well hey, we should exchange numbers and hang sometime." Got her number and sent her a text right there so she received my number.

Me: "Hey, it's ___ from ____!"
Her: "Hey, it was nice to meet you tonight!"
Me: "You too, stay in touch"

This accomplished your objective, but it was a pretty weak number close. It would've been better to make concrete plans with her right then and there (e.g. "Ok, but you have plans with me on Wednesday...I'm going to take you to the most amazing ice cream place ever"). You want to demonstrate your alpha-ness by leading her, rather than obliquely suggesting that you should hang out.

Also, during your initial conversation, I'd stay away from boring biographical topics and concentrate on being fun and memorable. Tease her a bit; say things like, "When I look at you I can totally picture what you were like in middle school; it's crazy." Make the conversation about HER, and get her to sell herself to you. You want her to walk away from the interaction thinking, "wow, that was a lot of fun."

As for calling, perhaps wait a day or two, then call--most likely, you will get her voicemail (that's how things are these days). Say, "Hey, it's ___. I'll try ya another time"--then try again in a couple of days. DON'T ask her out over voicemail, and DON'T tell her to call you back. It's a minor detail, but this will improve your chances of getting through to her.

DON'T invite her to the party, unless you just want her for social proof. You will have other obligations that will likely distract you, and worse, your friends might screw things up for you. Plus, she will feel uncomfortable around so many strangers (including you). No group dates! Just pick a fun, casual activity to do and use the tips in the DJ Bible. Good luck!!

 

[f283000]

DON'T invite her to the party, unless you just want her for social proof. You will have other obligations that will likely distract you, and worse, your friends might screw things up for you. Plus, she will feel uncomfortable around so many strangers (including you). No group dates! Just pick a fun, casual activity to do and use the tips in the DJ Bible. Good luck!!

RSanders, I guess you needed to be told this again since this is similar to what I told you in your "chick from class" thread. I don't know if you ignored the advice or just forgot it

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=179890

I think the issue comes from a lack of self confidence that you definitely need to address. Guys that are starting out or that have low self confidence will pull this sort of thing. They are afraid of being aggressive with a woman and to get themselves into 1 on 1 situations with a woman, and instead try to go for the "safe route" by inviting them over to parties or to hang out with friends. They think that somehow inviting women into their social circle is going to win them over. It's like thinking buying a woman roses and singing her love songs will actually impress her when she's not even your girlfriend yet. Stuff like this will push her further away from you.

Women don't like pu$$yfooting. If you don't ask a "total babe" like this girl out then some other guy will and it's as simple as that. In this game you are either aggressive or you lose your chance.

Start putting yourself into situations of being alone with women so you can start losing the fear and build your confidence. You don't need to invite them to parties, or to hang out with friends. You are a great guy with confidence and she's lucky to spend time with you 1 on 1. That's the attitude you need.

Read the 3rd link in my signature if you haven't read it. You need it.

 

[RSanders219]

Thanks for the reminder F283000, I totally forgot about that crucial advice haha. So now, I'm thinking I might ask her out next weekend for coffee or something casual like that. As there have been a few flaws in my original technique (IE: "hangout some time") rather than taking a more asserting route as said by Jefst1980.. I feel like I'm really building my skills. So I would like to say thanks! Without this help I would continue to be lost in the dating world haha.

 

[RSanders219]

Well, i took the advice from you guys, decided I won't invite her to that party, called her after a 3 day interval and we're going on a date this weekend! Damn, never thought it was that easy haha