Looking for Relationship Advice and Help "Letting Go"

[johnca2010]

I'm a 24 yo guy who needs some relationship advice. I've dated a girl for over three years now but am in a difficult position.

On one hand she's a great person, very into me, isn't a b*tch, etc..but on the other hand I really don't see myself being with her in the "long term" ie ever getting married, etc.

Lately (off and on past few months) I've been realizing how long I've been seeing this girl and it's been making me wonder if I should really be in this relationship.

I'm still attracted to her but honestly I feel that I can be with more attractive, hotter women. I work on improving myself a lot and am able to meet other women. I also feel that although she is a very kind-hearted person, we have different directions for our lives.

And right now in my life I am focusing on my career, so there is a strong chance I will move or need to do other things in my life.

The issue lately has been that I sometimes really feel that we should not be in a relationship, but then it's difficult to let go because of the attachment as well as some of the good things that come with a relationship. On the other hand I don't want to lead her and myself on into thinking we're actually going to be together and get married, etc.

I'm having problems figuring out how to handle this situation properly and ultimately how to "let go" of the relationship and move on.

I have other girls who want to date me, but there's a certain level of "comfort" I've built up with this girl that is difficult to let go of.

Any thoughts or opinions are valuable and also if anyone has been in a similair situation, I would be interested to know how you handled it.

 

[Ease]

This kind of nonsense rambling is the exact same thing that a girl thinks when she loses interest in her boyfriend.

Fair enough to you my friend, dump the slut. But take it from me, you're in a very comfortable position right now. Dump her without having a branch to swing to and you will suddenly find yourself thinking about her and finding it very hard to let go. Get too comfortable and she will fall out of love with you first before you even manage to find a new branch to swing to. Its great to be comfortable, but dont get too comfortable.

 

[johnca2010]

This kind of nonsense rambling is the exact same thing that a girl thinks when she loses interest in her boyfriend.

Fair enough to you my friend, dump the slut. But take it from me, you're in a very comfortable position right now. Dump her without having a branch to swing to and you will suddenly find yourself thinking about her and finding it very hard to let go. Get too comfortable and she will fall out of love with you first before you even manage to find a new branch to swing to. Its great to be comfortable, but dont get too comfortable.

Are you saying I am over-analyzing the situation? What are you recommending, dumping ASAP or getting some more women in the pipeline first (already have several who want to go out)?

Again the issue with me is NOT that I don't have other women around..it's just that I have become very attached to this one person. Perhaps it is because of the reliability, knowing she's consistently there.

It would be easier if she was a b*tch or had major problems, but she's a very down-to-earth girl so it makes it more difficult.

 

[L B]

You pretty much made up your mind that she is not LTR material in your book. Leading her on is not the right thing to do. Branch swinging is for girls. Dump her and move on with your life. Don't look back if you do make that decision. You might regret it in the future, but there are plenty of women that can replace her then. At 24, focus should be on you.

 

[johnca2010]

Yes I have been focusing on my career and self-improvement.

For some reason I have not been able to muster up the guts to completely break it off with her, especially because I am not sure if it is the best thing to do. And also it's difficult to break the attachment after such a long time.