Looking for more than just casual flings

[EternalBachelor]

I had this five month relationship with a girl last year. It was amazing while it lasted and we were in love. But things fell apart August. I was pretty down but threw myself into the gym, kept myself busy and am over her. It was the first time ive ever been in love with a girl and my longest relationship by far.

Since then I have been getting back into the game and dating some pretty nice girls. But while Im finding them attractive and having fun with them it just feels like something is missing. While I used to enjoy relationships based on cheap physical attraction when I was younger, now they just feel unsatisfactory. I just get bored of them so easily and usually just keep them around for the sex but it hardly seems worth it to put up with them for the rest of the time.

It is kinda ironic because I have achieved what I came on the DJ site to do: namely be able to be in a position where I had no trouble meeting hot girls and getting them into bed.

Now my priorities have changed and I guess I am looking for a relationship similar to the one I had with my ex.

But it just seems to be so hard to find girls I actually feel something for. I see friends who are in relationships with girls they love who love them and while I used to think they were saps and whipped, I envy them now. Because while I get a lot of pleasure out of pulling girls and sleeping with them, none of them add to my happiness or give me that addictive "in love" feeling, or at least not since I broke up with my ex.

Is it just a case of luck? Will I eventually end up dating a girl I do not get bored of and actually develop feelings for? Or are most guys having this problem.

While some of my friends do seem to be in happy relationships I have a suspicion a lot of them are just in relationships out of loneliness.

 

[Jay Jay]

The Grass Is Always Greener.

I hear ya buddy. I'm in the same boat. It actually gives you the ultimate mack daddy power once you are in this frame. You really are qualifying girls and they totally pick up on it.

And you come here and there are all these kids wondering how to get any girl and the truth is all you need is to not want to get any girl.

What I look for is what I call the car crash effect. That means being with a girl who makes you feel like you do when you are almost in a car crash. That gasping for air, heart missing a beat kinda feeling when she bends over, or when you pull off her bra or when she pushes against you in a public place.

Been a couple of years since I felt that. But I keep looking. Its kinda getting to me. When you are there with a 22 year old honey (I'm 30) and she is sticking her boobies in your face trying to get your attention from the crossword and you feel that ****ing her brains out is a chore you would rather do without you really feel that lack of a partner.

But I bet the moment I find her I will want to be in the game again...

And we ***** about the flakiness of the babes...

JJ

 

[Last Man Standing]

While some of my friends do seem to be in happy relationships I have a suspicion a lot of them are just in relationships out of loneliness.

Hors are for sex - not to be loved or cherished!! Good luck finding a woman who is not physically or mentally corrupted!!!

Most men do "settle" out of lonliness - to only find out later, to their chagrin, that there are lonelier iwith a hor!!

 

[Thomas94305]

EternalBachelor.. you're just asking good questions based on life experience.

Try writing out what qualities you'd look for in a great gal you'd want to have in a relationship. As you date, you'll refine this. Maybe you'll meet someone who has quality #4 on your list, and you find that quality isn't all you thought it was. Maybe she'll surprise you with some good things you did not expect..etc. As that list gets refined, look for those kinds of gals, use it to qualify them when you approach, on your first dates, etc. Then, just.. settle into a relationship with one of them. If she bores you, ask "WHY?".. refine the list.

 

[EternalBachelor]

Jay Jay. That figures. I had the car crash effect with my ex but it was after like a month. However before then there were some effects that I have not noticed with the other girls I have dated recently. After our first couple of dates I found myself smiling an awful lot more for no apparent reason, daydreaming about her and "lighting up" when Im around them.
Stuff I had not really done since my AFC days.

But with girls Ive been dating recently we have a good time and I enjoy the flirting and the physical stuff but its a case of out of sight out of mind and I often find myself cutting dates short out of boredom.

A lot of guys on here seem to be serial players or wannabe serial players. Im not saying that is not fun. But I guess once having a hot girl on your arm and lots of sex ceased to be such a novelty it is the feelings you start to crave.

I guess things come around full circle. When I started off I used to go crazy over every hot chick I met and couldn't stop thinking about them and used to get all excited about dates. Now I am rarely affected by girls and actually miss the old feelings of being completely infatuated with a girl and just feeling on a total high when you are around her.

I think maybe I have to be a bit more ruthless in nexting girls within a couple of dates if they have not had an "effect" on me.

 

[ryannath]

I understand where you are coming from. Well, I have even yet to have sex with a girl that I have feelings for. I love sex so I have it, but I have never felt anything special for any of them. I wish I could have that problem of actually feeling something for someone besides sex.

And also, I don't enjoy the almost having a car crash feeling. That feeling feels like a heart attack kind of.