Looking for advice...

[ADifferentKindofDJ]

Ok, so I've been to this site for about 4 years. And although I won't tell you my sob story, I do have a question...

SO what do you do if you know exactly what you want in a woman, and are looking to (dare I say it) settle down and have a family??

I've seen lots of advice for picking up HB's but what about the end game? Because we all know there is life after DJing. Maybe there are some DJ's here that are at the end game that could answer this question. (And yes I have read the LTR stuff)

 

[Wyldfire]

You're putting the horse before the carriage. You should NEVER go out in the world seeking something specific in a partner. If you do that you are more likely to overlook traits in a person that you won't be happy with in the long term because you are trying to fit every woman you get involved with into this ideal mold of a forever partner.

It's far better to just date people and tailor each relationship to fit the person you are with at that point in time. If you do that, you are more likely to find a relationship you are happy with that will actually have a better chance of lasting.

 

[Desdinova]

SO what do you do if you know exactly what you want in a woman, and are looking to (dare I say it) settle down and have a family??

In my opinion, there's nothing wrong with being fussy about finding the person you want to settle down with. Just remember that she's not going to be perfect.

Put yourself together a list of what specifics you want and DON'T want in a mate. Looks shouldn't become a priority, but don't settle for someone you can't stand looking at. Also, since you SHOULD have a good amount of dating experience to back you up, you should have a good idea of what you can and can't tolerate in a woman. There's nothing wrong with being picky, since a Don Juan deserves a high quality woman!

Now, when you come across this ideal woman, you'll have to be able to attract her to you. This is where all the dating practice you've learned is going to come in handy. If you're not at a point where you can get almost any woman you want, you should work more on your dating skills. When this woman comes along, poor game will allow her to slip through your fingers.

Looking for a woman to settle down with shouldn't consume you so much that it becomes a point of worry and stress. There are a lot of low quality women out there, and it's going to take some time to find your ideal mate. Just go out and have fun, but keep your eyes open. Screen the women you date. If she quickly raises a red flag, she should not be considered for a LTR. But, don't forget to have fun! Dating is a way of passing time until you find the ideal woman to settle down with.

 

[ADifferentKindofDJ]

Excellent advice!! Thank you all for putting it in perspective for me. So what I got was:

1. Don't be too picky
2. Keep reading and dating till I find the one
3. Screen them within reason for the long term

I'll start reading Anti-Dumps posts also.