I’ve been lurking for a while, and wound up here in the same way it seems like many of you have. And, RP theory- I came nearly several nearly identical conclusions on my own in isolation, before I knew it was a “thing”. Truthfully, I see an RP continuum, and am somewhere in the middle.
An introduction: I married a European woman, and have lived with her for 12 years. The marriage- I’ve always recognized that it’s a civil contract with really bad exit terms, but, it was a way for her to stay in the U.S. which I wanted at the time. I did some things right- kept the house/mortgage in my name, which I owned prior to the marriage, kept track of our financial inputs in a spreadsheet- had her sign things. Likely not all binding or enforceable, but, we’re getting divorced, worked out the terms on our own, and, I’m not completely losing my ass. Other than the voracious consumption of everything I offered, with very little reciprocity except rhetoric during the whole deal, which…is my fault for letting it happen. My AFC/Beta core error was thinking “It’s hard to move to another country, leave your family, she’s making a big sacrifice to be with me. I’ll put my head down, suck it up, and help however I can.” And, I did, unfailingly, in every way, for years. Ooops. So, I enabled and created a succubus, ‘cause I was doing the “right thing”. She was mecurial, daddy issues, not such a great time for me, and I ended up starved. I got some travel, picked up another language- there were some good things.
__________
mcse
