"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Looking for a summer romance?

IncrediblyObvious

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Well it's pretty embarrassing for me to turn to the internet for help, but ah, what the hell.

Anyways, here goes. There's this girl I've known for about two years. We're alright friends and we're from the same town, but we go to school far apart and have really only seen each other twice since last summer. Well, I've always been kind of into her, she's super artsy, kind, and cute, but because of the distance thing I've never done anything about it. Last summer I traveled for a month so I never made a move then. This summer we're both sticking around so I figure it might be a good time to finally do what I've wanted to do for a while now.

Now I know she liked me when we first met, but I was too indecisive. She still seems into me, but definitely not to the same degree. Is there any way to salvage this? What course of action should I take?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Chickfight

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It'd be easier to give you advice if we knew where you at now. What problems specifically do you struggle with when you're trying to get a girl? What's your experience level?
 

IncrediblyObvious

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Chickfight said:
It'd be easier to give you advice if we knew where you at now. What problems specifically do you struggle with when you're trying to get a girl? What's your experience level?
Normally I'm pretty confident around girls, but this is just a rather odd situation. I'm not quite sure how to move the relationship from friendship to romance. The thing is it often takes time to do that, as you shift your image in their mind to a more sexual stance. However since it's just summer I want to move it faster than that.


EvilAgenda said:
Tell her you've had a secret crush on her for years.
Ha. Yeah, that would go over very well.
"Hey! How was your year? I've secretly liked you for the last two years and I think you felt the same way last year, let's bang!"
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Chickfight

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As soon as you meet her, don't treat her like a friend, treat her you would treat someone you want to have sex with, which you do. If you want to get with her you can't be worried about "ruining your friendship".

Ask her out on a date a day or two after meeting her. No matter what happens, if she rejects you or ljbfs you or whatnot, just smile and be like "its okay, I understand that", but then keep being sexual and escalating anyway. Whatever she says does not phase you. Basically, you have to become a completely different person to her than you were before. A person high on their own life, who she is welcome to join for the ride, though it won't wait long for her to get on. Don't let her be the focus of your summer, but let her be a part of it.

Read the dj bible/book of pook and apply what you read in real life.
 

EvilAgenda

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Everything that the guy above me says, except the opposite.


As soon as you meet her, treat her like a little girl who is your friend, treat her as you would treat someone you don't want to have sex with, which you don't. If you want to get with her you have to be ready to ruin your friendship.

Don't ask her out on a date a day or two after meeting her. No matter what happens, if she rejects you or ljbfs you or whatnot, don't smile, just be like "its not okay, but I won't force the issue", and then stop being sexual, and continue to treat her like a little girl. Whatever she says does phase you in an amusing way, and you spank her when she is being silly cute or out of line. Basically, you have to remain the same person to her than you were before. A person high on their own life, whom she has to persuade in order to join in for the ride, and who will be patient. Let her be the focus of your summer, but don't let her to be a part of it.
 
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IncrediblyObvious

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Chickfight said:
As soon as you meet her, don't treat her like a friend, treat her you would treat someone you want to have sex with, which you do. If you want to get with her you can't be worried about "ruining your friendship".

Ask her out on a date a day or two after meeting her. No matter what happens, if she rejects you or ljbfs you or whatnot, just smile and be like "its okay, I understand that", but then keep being sexual and escalating anyway. Whatever she says does not phase you. Basically, you have to become a completely different person to her than you were before. A person high on their own life, who she is welcome to join for the ride, though it won't wait long for her to get on. Don't let her be the focus of your summer, but let her be a part of it.

Read the dj bible/book of pook and apply what you read in real life.
Alright, good stuff. Seems pretty standard, thanks for the help.
 

Chickfight

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EvilAgenda said:
Everything that the guy above me says, except the opposite.


As soon as you meet her, treat her like a little girl who is your friend, treat her as you would treat someone you don't want to have sex with, which you don't. If you want to get with her you have to be ready to ruin your friendship.

Don't ask her out on a date a day or two after meeting her. No matter what happens, if she rejects you or ljbfs you or whatnot, don't smile, just be like "its not okay, but I won't force the issue", and then stop being sexual, and continue to treat her like a little girl. Whatever she says does phase you in an amusing way, and you spank her when she is being silly cute or out of line. Basically, you have to remain the same person to her than you were before. A person high on their own life, whom she has to persuade in order to join in for the ride, and who will be patient. Let her be the focus of your summer, but don't let her to be a part of it.
the **** is your problem?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Chickfight

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EvilAgenda said:
I have a problem with people giving bad advice.
You just reversed what I said in a way that doesn't even make sense, bro. Is that some kind of attempt at mocking me or is that your legitmate advice to the guy? I ain't mad. It's just bizarre ,I don't get what you're trying to do.

"Treat her like a little girl who is your friend?"
How many little girls are you friends with? Do you play barbies together or something?

if she rejects you or ljbfs you or whatnot, don't smile, just be like "its not okay, but I won't force the issue", and then stop being sexual,
You're telling him to act like a friend, and if she "lets just be friends" him, he's supposed to reply with a straight face "It's not okay" and stop being sexual when he wasn't even sexual in the first place.

and continue to treat her like a little girl. Whatever she says does phase you in an amusing way, and you spank her when she is being silly cute or out of line."
If you're amused by something it obviously didn't phase you, but the best part is the "Treat her like a little girl and spank her" thing. What are you doing spanking little girls dude? Where's Chris Hanson when you need him.

Basically, you have to remain the same person to her than you were before
Cause being her friend has worked so well so far.

A person high on their own life, whom she has to persuade in order to join in for the ride, and who will be patient. Let her be the focus of your summer, but don't let her to be a part of it.
huh?

Yeah, you're giving amazing advice, let his summer completely focus on her, yet treat her completely non sexually and like friend, never ask her out, but suddenly spank her when she being silly or cute or out of line. He going to get a ****ing restraining order by acting like this, not a girlfriend.


Look man, it's fine if you don't agree with what I'm saying. Just point out what you don't agree with and why, and give your own damn viewpoint. This reversing what I wrote thing you did, it's just confusing as hell and this guy is trying to get some real advice.
 

Vice

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EvilAgenda said:
Everything that the guy above me says, except the opposite.


As soon as you meet her, treat her like a little girl who is your friend, treat her as you would treat someone you don't want to have sex with, which you don't. If you want to get with her you have to be ready to ruin your friendship.

Don't ask her out on a date a day or two after meeting her. No matter what happens, if she rejects you or ljbfs you or whatnot, don't smile, just be like "its not okay, but I won't force the issue", and then stop being sexual, and continue to treat her like a little girl. Whatever she says does phase you in an amusing way, and you spank her when she is being silly cute or out of line. Basically, you have to remain the same person to her than you were before. A person high on their own life, whom she has to persuade in order to join in for the ride, and who will be patient. Let her be the focus of your summer, but don't let her to be a part of it.
Chickfight has a point; this is BAD ADVICE.

There's too many bullsh*t "rules". You shouldn't ever worry about "getting LJBF'ed", because that shouldn't even be a POSSIBILITY. It's not part of your reality.

And getting all butthurt and saying "It's not okay, but I won't force the issue" is telling the girl that YOU ARE A GIANT WUSSY THAT GETS HIS FEELINGS HURT EASILY. Since getting "LJBF'ed" isn't even a possibility, you don't need to spend any energy "thinking of a good response".

And what the F*CK does "Let her be the focus of your summer, but don't let her to be a part of it." mean? First off, how can you focus on her but not let her be a part of your life? Stalk her? What the f*ck? Why not let her be apart of it? THAT'S THE F*CKING POINT OF DATING, BUDDY.

Put this EvilAgenda guy on your sh*tlist of people to not take advice from. Chickfight has it down.
 
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