"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Looking for a few experienced opinions...

TonyTheTigerOI

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I am 17, I finished High School early and I attend a NYS University. I am good looking (9.2) and I am a very successful Don Juan (5 years). I have never been on a 3rd date. I would see girls once or twice, get as far as I wanted (usually head, not sex) and then move on.

She will be 18 in two weeks. She is nearly as precocious as I, having dated 3 guys in her life, all at least 2 years older (the most recent was 7 years older). She is cute (8.7) and sweet... the nicest, most caring girl I have ever met. She is very religious and I am not, but other than that we were raised on many of the same values.

We were freshmen at the same high school, three and a half years ago. I met her during the last few weeks of school and we were obviously crushing on each other... but as I was just beginning to mature physically, intellectually, and socially (implementing DJ principals) I did not JUMP on the opportunity. She offered her phone number one day, but before we could get together she picked up and moved a thousand miles away (literally) when her step-dad was offered a new job.

In a local coffee shop four months ago I saw her – I pushed a slutty 8.2 off my lap clean onto the floor and jogged across the length of the shop to see her. She looked like shyt (8.0 MAYBE)... a few pimples, her hair looked ratty, and she was dressed poorly.

None the less, she had my attention – something deep inside was pulling me towards her. In front of her 24 year old boyfriend, on his birthday, she gave me her new phone number.

A month later I called. We hung out a few times and she cleaned up (averaging an 8.5). But the more time I spent with her, the more time I WANTED to spend with her. She was the nicest, most polite, sweetest, most caring girl I had EVER met. And what made it so beautifully pure... she was a wonderful person not because of insecurity, but because of confidence! We grew into great friends over the next month. One night, I called, sighing about a sour date with a very beautiful girl. Chelsea had been complaining about her boyfriend a lot, I interrupted her – “Honey, maybe we are just cursed to fall for the wrong people?” She agreed.

One night, while she was driving me back to her house from Starbucks a rabbit ran in front or her car. She slammed on the breaks and we slid 5 feet off the snow-covered road... we were literally one inch from the make-shift guard rail overlooking a 400 ft gorge. I wasn’t wearing my seatbelt – my head had hit the windshield pretty hard. She climbed halfway over the center consul to see if I was ok.

Now, I have been in my fair share of nasty fights – but I can’t remember my head ever hurting that bad.

She leaned closer and pressed her hands to my forehead. “Your gonna have a nasty bump, but I think you are all right.” My headache was gone. All I could see was her – her soft, nurturing hands on my forehead – her soothing voice. I was 14 years old again, I WANTED her.

She must have felt a change, because she began acting different. She is the consummate sunshine girl – she works a room like few girls can. She is outgoing and affectionate with everyone she meets. She began exercising reticence around me. She got quieter, shyer.

A week later her boyfriend dumped her. We went out to dinner. I went to kiss her, but she climbed out of my car. I got angry and yelled at her because her body language was blatantly saying that she wanted me...

“Either A, you are falling hard for me, too... but you are really, really bad at showing it or B you are just trying to hold onto an old friend, against his will. And god-damn it-“
She cut me off, “A!”

We talked for a long time, I promised to take it slow. We [barely] kissed goodbye on the side of the mouth.

For the next six weeks we really struggled. We were so nervous around each other. We barely ever had fun together. We were totally unaffectionate. When we kissed, our lips were wet and there was awesome rhythm – but it never FELT like a REAL KISS.
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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TonyTheTigerOI

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How long does it take to check a girl out? 3 seconds? A second down, a second up, a second to pause at her tits or ass. I hadn’t looked at Chelsea like that in 3 years.

I made up for it... I took 30 seconds to just look at the woman sitting next to me. I took 30 seconds to just let her know I WANT her. And finally, she relaxed... I took her hand and pulled her close... we cuddled (my first time doing this)

When we kissed goodbye she pressed her ringed-tongue against my still closed, dry lips. No rhythm. Kind of painful, my skin was so dry. It was UNBELIEVABLE – it FELT like 3 years of energy and feeling passed through our lips.

And since then she has been really evasive. I got in touch with her once, she said her friends loved me and wanted to hang out again... and they wanted to know if I had friends. She said she would call me back, but didnt. This was last Thursday. Usually she calls every 2-3 days without me calling... and ALWAYS returns my calls in 3 hrs MAX.

Different friends have reached different conclusions – most think she has started seeing someone else. Some think she is just scared. Others think that she was just using me to rebound off her old boyfriend. What do YOU think? And what can I do about it?

I have called once on Friday, once Saturday, once Monday to no avail (I have not left any messages). She did call on Saturday morning, but didn’t leave a message (very unusual).

This Friday there is a bible study that her and I have attended the last 3 sessions in a row... if she doesn’t answer her phone this may be a way to get some air-time.

I was scared of this girl and being in a relationship. That fear is gone, I have no problem confidently, charismatically, charmingly doing ANYTHING that will allow me to set things right. Thank you so much for your input, I am terribly sorry for the length of this post.
 

Ritalin Kid

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I'm not extremely experienced and just getting back into the game but I can say this.. let her chase you. Even if the patience kills you let her be the one to call you first ALWAYS and even though it seems hard to do try to keep it short and sweet ALMOST like you are unconcerned with how she feels about you. As the male in this fiasco you have to keep making yourself look appealing to her by keeping the upper hand. You do this by acting as if you could just as easily date someone else tomorrow and NEVER EVER EVER wear you heart (emotions) on your sleave else you've killed the mystery that once captured her attention.
 

TonyTheTigerOI

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Sorry to bump my own post... but im working with a timeframe and could REALLY use a few older, more mature opinions than my own or my friends.
 

Desdinova

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One-itis at its worst. How to handle this situation depends largely on how emotionally involved you are with her. If you can switch off your emotions toward her, do that, but still hang out with her. Begin dating other women again and TELL her about it. Make no moves toward her but keep the kino up. Bring her along with you when you go out sarging. This is to get her IL back up. From what you're saying, she's sending you mixed signals. Do the same 5hit to her until she snaps.

However, if you're too emotionally involved with her to do any of this, break off from her for a good LONG while, perhaps a year. Then work on getting her to persue you again.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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astrojaevko

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DUDE, it sounds like u r WAY to much emotionally involved. u need to calm down. u r a DJ. u have other girls. go get some no's from other girls and go out with different ones this weekend. then come back to the one that u have oneitis for and play it cool. make sure that she likes u more than u like her. if she gives u any BS then NEXT her. its for your own sake. its all about u when it comes to women.
 

TonyTheTigerOI

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Thanks for the replies. And yes, do have one-itis. I went from laying 3 girls in 3 weeks to not passionately kissing a girl for 3 months. And there is nothing I can do to help it.

I do approach other girls, and they approach me. If I try, I can have 10 numbers and a date by this weekend. But thats not what I want.

I am looking for a VERY successful DJ's input. I am smooth. I wasnt TRYING to get laid in the last two years [due to age] but I was getting head from a new girl every 2-3 weeks. I have gone out trying to "get laid" 6 times... and I succeeded 5. But more of this is not what I want.

I am drawn to this girl - in a new and very different way. Can anyone offer input on how to make things work with Chelsea?
 

Desdinova

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Dude, she was playing games with you.

I went to kiss her, but she climbed out of my car.
We [barely] kissed goodbye on the side of the mouth.
Does that sound like someone who has high IL in you? I don't fukkin think so.

While I'm at it....

For the next six weeks we really struggled. We were so nervous around each other. We barely ever had fun together.
What's this "we" 5hit? Why weren't you having fun? Did you initiate any fun, or did you expect her to naturally create fun because she's a sunshine girl?

Her IL is dropping faster than seagull 5hit.

There's no quick fix for this. Ditch her for at least a year and get youself straightened out. You've built your happiness on the foundation of another person. Now it's crumbling and your life is falling apart. Take some time to rebuild it with a foundation of YOUR happiness.
 

Kaine

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If you have so much game and bedding girls left right and centre, you should use the same methodology on this girl.
 

TonyTheTigerOI

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Originally posted by Kaine
If you have so much game and bedding girls left right and centre, you should use the same methodology on this girl.
Well I was bedding girls on the first meet, first or second date. This is very different. And I was doing so by being mean and lying my ass off... this relationship wouldnt be worth the word if it was only successful through lies and manipulation.
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

Read more...

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