Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Looking back, the most exciting time I had was when I had Oneitis

DreamAgain

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 17, 2016
Messages
620
Reaction score
607
Age
33
I've learned a lot from this website and the posters here. The articles, books, information are all invaluable, and I have applied them with positive outcomes in the end.

I had some time on a longer drive yesterday to just think and let my mind wander, and I began to reflect on all this, and my relationships with and understanding of women.

I ruminated for a while, not exactly sure how long, but in the end I actually tried to "think" like a woman for a second. Meaning I tried to recollect the true emotions I felt throughout this whole journey, and not the logical cause and effect sequences that occurred. I just tried to replay the events in my mind, and hoped that some remnants of the emotions during them would follow.

While I was doing this, I came to a realization: I was the happiest during my oneitis phase. The excitement that I felt in arranging to meet her, in thinking of just the right things to make her laugh, to get her to enjoy time with me, was unmatched with any other plates or hookups I had. I just felt this electricity pulsing through me, I felt so alive and bulletproof, yet also quite vulnerable as to not mess things up. It was as if every time we saw each other, it was the fourth quarter and I was on the line to either make or miss the foul shots for the game. This feeling invigorated me and turbo-charged my drive to excel even more in other aspects of my life. I felt on top of the world.

Of course, these illusions were shattered once I found out more information about her and women in general, a lot thanks to this website and others. But still, when I look back, I almost wish there was a way to plug back into the matrix.

So what to make of this? Well I don't really know. But even despite all the pain, I'd do it all again if I could.
 

redskinsfan92

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 18, 2018
Messages
1,870
Reaction score
1,486
Age
31
I've learned a lot from this website and the posters here. The articles, books, information are all invaluable, and I have applied them with positive outcomes in the end.

I had some time on a longer drive yesterday to just think and let my mind wander, and I began to reflect on all this, and my relationships with and understanding of women.

I ruminated for a while, not exactly sure how long, but in the end I actually tried to "think" like a woman for a second. Meaning I tried to recollect the true emotions I felt throughout this whole journey, and not the logical cause and effect sequences that occurred. I just tried to replay the events in my mind, and hoped that some remnants of the emotions during them would follow.

While I was doing this, I came to a realization: I was the happiest during my oneitis phase. The excitement that I felt in arranging to meet her, in thinking of just the right things to make her laugh, to get her to enjoy time with me, was unmatched with any other plates or hookups I had. I just felt this electricity pulsing through me, I felt so alive and bulletproof, yet also quite vulnerable as to not mess things up. It was as if every time we saw each other, it was the fourth quarter and I was on the line to either make or miss the foul shots for the game. This feeling invigorated me and turbo-charged my drive to excel even more in other aspects of my life. I felt on top of the world.

Of course, these illusions were shattered once I found out more information about her and women in general, a lot thanks to this website and others. But still, when I look back, I almost wish there was a way to plug back into the matrix.

So what to make of this? Well I don't really know. But even despite all the pain, I'd do it all again if I could.
Can't relate. I was happy when I first had oneitis, but then had a gun in my hand. Today I have no woman, yet I'm happier than I've ever been. I'd never go back
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,936
Reaction score
12,146
Location
DFW, TX
Can't relate. I was happy when I first had oneitis, but then had a gun in my hand. Today I have no woman, yet I'm happier than I've ever been. I'd never go back
The barometer going forward is the woman or anyone should maintain or add to your happiness. Energy drainer have to be discarded. They will deplete and possibly derail your life.
 

Serenity

Moderator
Joined
Aug 19, 2013
Messages
4,952
Reaction score
4,773
Age
32
Location
Eye of the storm
I too remember the days of infatuation, it's a sort of high, but the fall is long and hard from that. I could go a couple of months obsessing and feeding that feeling, eventually ending in disappointment as my fantasy was one-sided.

It did feel kinda good in those moments, but I don't want to go back. I have worked hard for my emotional stability and overall it's a lot better than the rollercoaster.
 

Lookatu

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 26, 2017
Messages
3,138
Reaction score
3,960
Age
51
Once I found out Santa Clause wasn't real, it kinda lost the whole appeal. So yeah I can totally relate to you too.
My excitement level isn't that high these days knowing what I know. Ignorance is definitely bliss.
 
Last edited:

TonyTenner

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 4, 2020
Messages
252
Reaction score
186
Age
41
I've learned a lot from this website and the posters here. The articles, books, information are all invaluable, and I have applied them with positive outcomes in the end.

I had some time on a longer drive yesterday to just think and let my mind wander, and I began to reflect on all this, and my relationships with and understanding of women.

I ruminated for a while, not exactly sure how long, but in the end I actually tried to "think" like a woman for a second. Meaning I tried to recollect the true emotions I felt throughout this whole journey, and not the logical cause and effect sequences that occurred. I just tried to replay the events in my mind, and hoped that some remnants of the emotions during them would follow.

While I was doing this, I came to a realization: I was the happiest during my oneitis phase. The excitement that I felt in arranging to meet her, in thinking of just the right things to make her laugh, to get her to enjoy time with me, was unmatched with any other plates or hookups I had. I just felt this electricity pulsing through me, I felt so alive and bulletproof, yet also quite vulnerable as to not mess things up. It was as if every time we saw each other, it was the fourth quarter and I was on the line to either make or miss the foul shots for the game. This feeling invigorated me and turbo-charged my drive to excel even more in other aspects of my life. I felt on top of the world.

Of course, these illusions were shattered once I found out more information about her and women in general, a lot thanks to this website and others. But still, when I look back, I almost wish there was a way to plug back into the matrix.

So what to make of this? Well I don't really know. But even despite all the pain, I'd do it all again if I could.
I understand where you're coming from. When you're BP, oneitis gives a high like a drug. But what follows is severe withdrawal. When you learn about the Red Pill, you see male-female relationships at their core truth - arrangements for procreation & companionship before time catches up with them and they're too ugly to attract the opposite sex for either. The idealism is dead. In the long run though, you'll be much happier though as you can much easier avoid trauma.
 

Augustus_McCrae

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 3, 2012
Messages
909
Reaction score
1,003
I've learned a lot from this website and the posters here. The articles, books, information are all invaluable, and I have applied them with positive outcomes in the end.

I had some time on a longer drive yesterday to just think and let my mind wander, and I began to reflect on all this, and my relationships with and understanding of women.

I ruminated for a while, not exactly sure how long, but in the end I actually tried to "think" like a woman for a second. Meaning I tried to recollect the true emotions I felt throughout this whole journey, and not the logical cause and effect sequences that occurred. I just tried to replay the events in my mind, and hoped that some remnants of the emotions during them would follow.

While I was doing this, I came to a realization: I was the happiest during my oneitis phase. The excitement that I felt in arranging to meet her, in thinking of just the right things to make her laugh, to get her to enjoy time with me, was unmatched with any other plates or hookups I had. I just felt this electricity pulsing through me, I felt so alive and bulletproof, yet also quite vulnerable as to not mess things up. It was as if every time we saw each other, it was the fourth quarter and I was on the line to either make or miss the foul shots for the game. This feeling invigorated me and turbo-charged my drive to excel even more in other aspects of my life. I felt on top of the world.

Of course, these illusions were shattered once I found out more information about her and women in general, a lot thanks to this website and others. But still, when I look back, I almost wish there was a way to plug back into the matrix.

So what to make of this? Well I don't really know. But even despite all the pain, I'd do it all again if I could.
I totally understand what you’re saying. The feeling you described is unparalleled.
In my experience there is no equivalent. And if you’re lucky, you get to feel like that at least once in your life.

However, after that relationship is over and you learn more about women and the nature of things, you’re not the same man you were before (For better or worse). You become a little more hardened, a little more jaded. In essence, you know too much. And your knowledge and experience prevent you from ever feeling that vividly for a woman ever again. And when you think back, it’s not even necessarily the woman that you miss, it’s the person that you used to be. That starry eyed, love smitten guy ceased to exist somewhere along the way.

And yes, like you, God help me, I would do it all over if I could feel like that again. But the chances of that happening are zero because over several years I truly took the red pill and will never be the same again.

-Augustus-
 

DreamAgain

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 17, 2016
Messages
620
Reaction score
607
Age
33
I understand where you're coming from. When you're BP, oneitis gives a high like a drug. But what follows is severe withdrawal. When you learn about the Red Pill, you see male-female relationships at their core truth - arrangements for procreation & companionship before time catches up with them and they're too ugly to attract the opposite sex for either. The idealism is dead. In the long run though, you'll be much happier though as you can much easier avoid trauma.
Your overall, average happiness will be higher. However, it's a time decaying function. I'm not sure a man can reach peak happiness without believing in an idealistic notion of love.

I think it was Doestoevsky or Neitzsche who said that as long as a man has some hope, he can endure anything. I'll spend some more time thinking about this topic as it's much more complex than I anticipated.
 

Romanemp22

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 30, 2020
Messages
955
Reaction score
901
Age
26
I've learned a lot from this website and the posters here. The articles, books, information are all invaluable, and I have applied them with positive outcomes in the end.

I had some time on a longer drive yesterday to just think and let my mind wander, and I began to reflect on all this, and my relationships with and understanding of women.

I ruminated for a while, not exactly sure how long, but in the end I actually tried to "think" like a woman for a second. Meaning I tried to recollect the true emotions I felt throughout this whole journey, and not the logical cause and effect sequences that occurred. I just tried to replay the events in my mind, and hoped that some remnants of the emotions during them would follow.

While I was doing this, I came to a realization: I was the happiest during my oneitis phase. The excitement that I felt in arranging to meet her, in thinking of just the right things to make her laugh, to get her to enjoy time with me, was unmatched with any other plates or hookups I had. I just felt this electricity pulsing through me, I felt so alive and bulletproof, yet also quite vulnerable as to not mess things up. It was as if every time we saw each other, it was the fourth quarter and I was on the line to either make or miss the foul shots for the game. This feeling invigorated me and turbo-charged my drive to excel even more in other aspects of my life. I felt on top of the world.

Of course, these illusions were shattered once I found out more information about her and women in general, a lot thanks to this website and others. But still, when I look back, I almost wish there was a way to plug back into the matrix.

So what to make of this? Well I don't really know. But even despite all the pain, I'd do it all again if I could.
This remindes me of my first falling in love back ih high school. Man i was so crazy about that girl it was oneitis as it was my first falling in love. The rush of feelings when we were making out was just insane. But when sh1t went south and my feels runned off, i realised she was not that special. The thing is i falled in love after that with other women but nothing could be compared to that period and that girl idk how is that.
 

samspade

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 5, 2008
Messages
7,996
Reaction score
5,054
There's another level to all of this, and it goes way beyond red pill rules. What I'm saying is you may equal or even surpass that old "oneitis" feeling of happiness...but it will be far more powerful because you're game-aware and willing to be 100% true to yourself, and it will come from within, not without. Once you reach that, the jaded feeling will go away. That doesn't mean you'll be blind again or won't ever be disappointed...it's just another plain of acceptance of the universe and your place in it. It's cosmic, man.
 

Romanemp22

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 30, 2020
Messages
955
Reaction score
901
Age
26
I too remember the days of infatuation, it's a sort of high, but the fall is long and hard from that. I could go a couple of months obsessing and feeding that feeling, eventually ending in disappointment as my fantasy was one-sided.

It did feel kinda good in those moments, but I don't want to go back. I have worked hard for my emotional stability and overall it's a lot better than the rollercoaster.
Agree with you man. No girl, no matter how hot she is is worth going through oneitis
 

Romanemp22

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 30, 2020
Messages
955
Reaction score
901
Age
26
I totally understand what you’re saying. The feeling you described is unparalleled.
In my experience there is no equivalent. And if you’re lucky, you get to feel like that at least once in your life.

However, after that relationship is over and you learn more about women and the nature of things, you’re not the same man you were before (For better or worse). You become a little more hardened, a little more jaded. In essence, you know too much. And your knowledge and experience prevent you from ever feeling that vividly for a woman ever again. And when you think back, it’s not even necessarily the woman that you miss, it’s the person that you used to be. That starry eyed, love smitten guy ceased to exist somewhere along the way.

And yes, like you, God help me, I would do it all over if I could feel like that again. But the chances of that happening are zero because over several years I truly took the red pill and will never be the same again.

-Augustus-
This. Spot on. After that you learn yourself to just not fall for every girl that gives you attention. Heck i was so hardened after that that i only looked women as sex objects, because i just couldnt fall in love naively again
 

DreamAgain

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 17, 2016
Messages
620
Reaction score
607
Age
33
There's another level to all of this, and it goes way beyond red pill rules. What I'm saying is you may equal or even surpass that old "oneitis" feeling of happiness...but it will be far more powerful because you're game-aware and willing to be 100% true to yourself, and it will come from within, not without. Once you reach that, the jaded feeling will go away. That doesn't mean you'll be blind again or won't ever be disappointed...it's just another plain of acceptance of the universe and your place in it. It's cosmic, man.
Maybe you're right. But that's the question I'm trying to figure out actually. Is being numb, sort of in this zen state, preferable to being in pain? I feel as if the longer I'm in this neutral state, while it is protective, it is also a hindrance.

Hell, being in pain sucked. I remember it vividly. But even in the worst moments...I felt more alive than now. More human. It's like being in a fight and getting pummeled. Not fun for sure, but somehow, the dog in you gets awoken, you fix yourself up, and get back in the ring wiser and stronger.

Like I said, acceptance and sort of living with my "eyes open" has spared me a lot of unnecessary pain. But that's the key word I think, I'm thinking more and more that a person has to take the risk of pain in order to reach the reward of making this whole charade even worth it. Using the knowledge on this website and others to be more judicious in one's risk taking.

However...modern day society throws a big monkey wrench into all this. Women have been corrupted, seemingly, to an extreme extent. The needle in the haystack is getting harder and harder to find. Aided by technology and certain political agendas, social conditioning, and a host of other factors, I'm not surprised that people just lose hope and check out.
 

samspade

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 5, 2008
Messages
7,996
Reaction score
5,054
Maybe you're right. But that's the question I'm trying to figure out actually. Is being numb, sort of in this zen state, preferable to being in pain? I feel as if the longer I'm in this neutral state, while it is protective, it is also a hindrance.

Hell, being in pain sucked. I remember it vividly. But even in the worst moments...I felt more alive than now. More human. It's like being in a fight and getting pummeled. Not fun for sure, but somehow, the dog in you gets awoken, you fix yourself up, and get back in the ring wiser and stronger.

Like I said, acceptance and sort of living with my "eyes open" has spared me a lot of unnecessary pain. But that's the key word I think, I'm thinking more and more that a person has to take the risk of pain in order to reach the reward of making this whole charade even worth it. Using the knowledge on this website and others to be more judicious in one's risk taking.

However...modern day society throws a big monkey wrench into all this. Women have been corrupted, seemingly, to an extreme extent. The needle in the haystack is getting harder and harder to find. Aided by technology and certain political agendas, social conditioning, and a host of other factors, I'm not surprised that people just lose hope and check out.
You're right - there is a difference between the unnecessary pain of banging your head against a wall, and the pain that might come from heartbreak or longing after you've learned a thing or two.

I personally don't find it healthy for me to go through life trying to avoid potential pain or longing. At some point, I want to live my life and open myself up to those moments...knowing that I'll come out the other side stronger and wiser. That doesn't mean I'm a masochist...it means that I can accept it and deal with it - as long as I'm enjoying myself in the long run.

As an analogy, if you dedicated your life to one career, you'd go balls out...knowing full well you'll fail at some point, take your lumps, and move forward again because it's what you're driven to do. If there's an opportunity (like a job interview, or a big audition), I think it's healthy to get your hopes up and dream about success...as long as you know that if you fail, in the long run you'll be fine. By that same token, you're allowed to get excited about a girl you met, even to be infatuated, as long as you don't go overboard and are willing to accept an outcome that may not be what you'd hoped for. (And no, I'm not equating life goals with women...it's just an analogy.)

One thing I see from time to time here is the idea that catching "feels" for a girl is juvenile...and it is, but most of this stuff is juvenile. Read some threads, lol. It's all high school shyt. I think the key is that most men here are equipped to handle it, but some don't let themselves (or say they don't) because the red pill preaches a lot of stoicism. That's fine if that's your personality, but I'm definitely of the "tis better to have loved and lost" school. BUT I'm also a lot smarter and more experienced than I was at 23 or whatever, so what I'm saying is coming from a mindset of not only abundance, but self-acceptance. I would rather catch a little oneitis, recognize it for what it is and enjoy it (without being a chump) than go repeatedly through the motions like I'm running a program.

It took me a long time to get here, but your mileage may vary.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
15,859
Reaction score
8,562
While I was doing this, I came to a realization: I was the happiest during my oneitis phase. The excitement that I felt in arranging to meet her, in thinking of just the right things to make her laugh, to get her to enjoy time with me, was unmatched with any other plates or hookups I had. I just felt this electricity pulsing through me, I felt so alive and bulletproof, yet also quite vulnerable as to not mess things up.
I know what you're talking about to some extent. I remember when I had some serious crushes on a couple of girls (not simultaneously). Not oneitis necessarily, but I had committed the cardinal sin of "developing feelings". I had so much energy and so much motivation to improve myself (and thus be more attractive). I would work out like a maniac, and I felt like a nuclear power station I had so much energy. When I look back at it now I can't believe how stupid I was, but there are some pros that go along with the cons. It's like you're coursing with hormones and neurotransmitters.
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,936
Reaction score
12,146
Location
DFW, TX
I know what you're talking about to some extent. I remember when I had some serious crushes on a couple of girls (not simultaneously). Not oneitis necessarily, but I had committed the cardinal sin of "developing feelings". I had so much energy and so much motivation to improve myself (and thus be more attractive). I would work out like a maniac, and I felt like a nuclear power station I had so much energy. When I look back at it now I can't believe how stupid I was, but there are some pros that go along with the cons. It's like you're coursing with hormones and neurotransmitters.
For me a oneitis drains my focus and energy. When I remove her from my thought process I have much more energy and focus. The drain is due to the unrealized desires. I have had a few interactions where we both felt more energy due to it. But that's not the most common.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
15,859
Reaction score
8,562
For me a oneitis drains my focus and energy. When I remove her from my thought process I have much more energy and focus. The drain is due to the unrealized desires. I have had a few interactions where we both felt more energy due to it. But that's not the most common.
Well, in the "hope" stage or whatever it is, I got a lot of energy. Then when the desires turn out to be unrealized it's depressing, so that's an energy drain. But I know what the OP means, you feel very alive in the up stage.
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,936
Reaction score
12,146
Location
DFW, TX
Well, in the "hope" stage or whatever it is, I got a lot of energy. Then when the desires turn out to be unrealized it's depressing, so that's an energy drain. But I know what the OP means, you feel very alive in the up stage.
I think "oneitis " may no longer be a possibility for me. What does excite me is my kids and my own goals and desires.
 
Top