Look for an excuse rather than a “date”

[Bingo-Player]

Me and a friend where chatting this morning , and we were trying to figure out why women initally seem to hate “dates” so much ,why do they flake and why is it such a big deal for them

Well the answer then came to us ......it’s because we are making too much out of it

We both have new girls on our radars and we both must have spent almost a whole week working out where the best place to take them was, what would we talk about , how much should we spend

Then we realised that we are putting way too much pressure and effort into the whole thing it was like we were twisting an elastic band so tight it was going to snap at any second

And I’m assuming this is what women feel as well when being asked to go on a date (even worse when they are asked to go on a date a week in advance) ,

the thought of spending exlusive one to one time with a new person is stressful enough for both parties , why add to that by booking times and locations up to a week in advance all it does is add to worry and overthinking which = flaking

so we’ve scrapped the whole “let’s get together and do something soon” thing as the results are actually pretty shocking in the field

im now looking for genuine “excuses” to meet my women ( easier said than done right) ?

well with this chick I’ve built a running joke into our frame that I’m not taking her out until i get paid as she looks like she could end up costing me a bomb ( she doesn’t but there’s no harm in her thinking it ) and i was seriously short on cash until payday anyway

now i don’t get paid until next Friday and I’ve kept contact with her skeletal for the last fortnight occasionally dropping in with random snapchats just to keep her ticking over

(FYI – this is a girl thats used to getting 5/6 texts off a guy at once begging her to go out with him)

I know she’s wondering wtf is going on , but i don’t care because I’m running the show .....next Thursday I’m going to text her as follows

Bingo – you know what day tomorrow is don’t you

Her – hey bingo what’s happening tomorrow

Bingo – its payday and were gonna celebrate

Her – ha-ha are we ? where we going

Bingo – somewhere with the best ( inserts her favourite meal)..... il pick you up at 8

Her – accepts or declines

I’ve reduced the potential flake time down to less than 12 hours (excluding sleep) .....she doesn’t have time to think up stupid scenarios that will put her off ......she also has to make her decision immediately in order for the date to happen in such a short space of time

We also have the added bonus that 9/10 she’s gonna be too busy with deciding what she’s gonna wear and how shes gonna do her hair to be able to have time to think about flaking

I know some on here will say “ yea but bingo 24 hours aint nowhere near enough notice for a date”

I say fvck that its 2015 and 24 hours is an ample amount of time to prepare .......most people live routine boring life’s that can quite easily be juggled around

if she wants to see you she will agree and make it happen if not then your wasting your time

il let you know how it pans out with this chick next week but either way i win because if she declines she sure as h*ll won’t be hearing from me ever again :kick:

throw her in at the deep end guys , see how hard shes prepared to swim for you :rock:

 

[Anteros]

I.. don't see that much of a change in flaking if you are just anticipating it instead of just asking her in advance. At the end she can just say "uh tomorrow? I don't think I can make it" and just be your regular flake after that.

In terms of dates, just strike while the Iron's hot.

 

[3agle 3yes]

I've been preaching something like this to anybody that will listen to me...(even on this forum, though I'm rarely on here).

Here's my contribution:

1) When you call a girl out the FIRST time, make the "date" SHORT...half an hour or even less.

In the end though, I (and you should) end up usually spending HOURS with her. The key here is to get her out of the house and with YOU.

Because:

a) Usually you've of met the girl once and it is far too much pressure too soon to expect most girls to want to spend hours with someone they've met only once (who's established little value).

b) She thinks you're serious and want a relationship (yes, IME it's true). This puts her on the spot, does SHE want one or not?

c) She has to risk a hours with someone she might find boring and irritating.

2) You must demonstrate to her that "dating" is just another screening process for YOU. An easy way to do this is use her lines before she does.

"I'm not your boyfriend", "this ISN'T a date", "I just want to hang out for a bit, if you're crazy or a weirdo I'll leave" etc, etc...

...Bingo – somewhere with the best ( inserts her favourite meal)..... il pick you up at 8

Personally, if I'm taking a girl to a restaurant (and I hardly ever do) I WON'T tell her where I'm going.

"It's a surprise", "It's a secret, just make sure you're looking great" or "I'm taking you somewhere so out of left field you'll never guess right" etc, etc...

Intrigue alone should get her out.

Restaurants are so boring anyway, it triggers all of the boring memories she's had with approval seekers who've kissed her @ss in the past.

The reality is it DOESN'T matter where you're going...only the company you're giving.

Most of my first "dates" are extremely casual and involve shopping of some kind.

Basically, taking a girl somewhere where she can have her "favorite meal" is just another form of approval seeking and in my experience girls enjoy it FAR more if you make her try something she's never had before (even if she doesn't like it) than sucking up to her and giving her what she likes.

 

[Bingo-Player]

2) You must demonstrate to her that "dating" is just another screening process for YOU. An easy way to do this is use her lines before she does.

"I'm not your boyfriend", "this ISN'T a date", "I just want to hang out for a bit, if you're crazy or a weirdo I'll leave" etc, etc...

Personally, if I'm taking a girl to a restaurant (and I hardly ever do) I WON'T tell her where I'm going.

"It's a surprise", "It's a secret, just make sure you're looking great" or "I'm taking you somewhere so out of left field you'll never guess right" etc, etc...

Intrigue alone should get her out.

Restaurants are so boring anyway, it triggers all of the boring memories she's had with approval seekers who've kissed her @ss in the past.

The reality is it DOESN'T matter where you're going...only the company you're giving.

Most of my first "dates" are extremely casual and involve shopping of some kind.

Basically, taking a girl somewhere where she can have her "favorite meal" is just another form of approval seeking and in my experience girls enjoy it FAR more if you make her try something she's never had before (even if she doesn't like it) than sucking up to her and giving her what she likes.

duly noted , may adjust my script accordingly

shopping has worked well for me in the past but it involves travelling between 40 - 50 miles to the nearest decent city ..... i aint sure if this girl is ready for an hour car ride yet .....could stress her (and me) out

pheraps thats just me overthinking