look at her actions and not her words? cos both are equally confusing

[princesimba]

Hi this is my 2nd thread here. i really liked the advice the people here gives, so i would like to hear what the people here have to say about this situation.

i know the golden rule, dont judge a women by her words...

but i also know, when a woman says "i dont want a relationship", it means she really doesnt want one.

So, what does...

"Me? Your girl? No way."

mean?

NO, i did not ask her to be my girlfriend. i was just teasing and calling her my girl outta fun, thats what she replied. Which got me thinking cos why would a girl whos interested say that when she knows very well im joking? Unless of course, she doesnt want me to get the wrong idea...?

more info about this girl:
-i see her almost everyday in college
-loves contacting me first on IM and text
-im pretty sure im not in her friendzone
-me: but we are good friends! her: please, we arent even friends
-we went out once recently. She dropped no hints of a second date, but she continued contacting me anyway, sometimes even to chat.
-same girl as the one in my first post!
-she has a history of liking to play hard to get
-her hobbies includes ignoring me when i talk to her, and finding a mutual friend to join our conversation everytime i managed to find her alone and talk to her (!)

Last but no least...
-She loves saying/doing things she knows i do not like. And she takes pride in it

Example:
me: dont talk to me about other guys. The only guy you can talk about and lust over is me
*after 5 minutes*
her: oh look at that basketball jock hes so hot!!!
me: what did i just say?
her: i know. i just wanna piss you off *smiles at me*

 

[Igetit!]

i know the golden rule, dont judge a women by her words...

but i also know, when a woman says "i dont want a relationship", it means she really doesnt want one.

Uhhh.......CORRECTION....


When a girl says,"I don't want a relationship",she doesn't mean she doesn't want a relationship. What she means is....

she doesn't want a relationship.......with YOU



I guarantee you....if a guy came along who was handsome,who sexually turned her on,and who stirred her emotions (and she was single),she'd be BEGGING for a relationship with him.


If she actually took the time to say that to you,then more than likely,somewhere along the line of you dealing with her,you slipped up.


Girls normally say that if they sense that the guy is more into them than they are in the guy.

So, what does...

"Me? Your girl? No way."

mean?

It means she finds the idea of being in a relationship with you repulsive.

If this is the same girl from that other thread you made,then her saying "Me? Your girl? No way." makes PERFECT SENSE given the way you behaved with her.


This is the girl you got into an arguement with simply because she told you she wasn't impressed with the date you set up,right? And after she said that,she sent you a text telling you she actually liked the date,and even flirted with you. So you should have known she was only kidding.


Instead,you ended up arguing and fighting over this nonsense.

NO, i did not ask her to be my girlfriend. i was just teasing and calling her my girl outta fun, thats what she replied. Which got me thinking cos why would a girl whos interested say that when she knows very well im joking?

Unless of course, she doesnt want me to get the wrong idea...?

See the part I put in bold?


BINGO. She doesn't want you to get the wrong idea,and that idea being that ANYTHING romantic would happen between you two.


She did go out with you once,but after you started a fight with her over her little innocent comment,she probably decided to just move on.

more info about this girl:
-i see her almost everyday in college
-loves contacting me first on IM and text
-im pretty sure im not in her friendzone
-me: but we are good friends! her: please, we arent even friends

Ok....see the one I put in bold,the one about "but we're good friends/please,we aren't even friends"? I think you misunderstood there.


When she said,"We aren't even friends",she didn't mean that thing about how men and women are either friends or they're having sex,she said that sarcasticly,as in,"What,friends? We aren't even that".



What she meant was you two are NOTHING,but she was joking.


You two are friends.....ONLY.

-we went out once recently. She dropped no hints of a second date, but she continued contacting me anyway, sometimes even to chat.

Hey,didn't you say you weren't in the friendzone with her?

Well if you see her everyday,she constantly calls/contacts you "just to chat",and there has been NO MENTION of a second date by EITHER OF YOU,well you may not be in the friendzone,but you're damn close to it,lol.

-her hobbies includes ignoring me when i talk to her, and finding a mutual friend to join our conversation everytime i managed to find her alone and talk to her (!)

So when you go in search of this girl in order to speak to her ALONE,what do you talk to her about? I'm sorry dude,but this is looking more and more like the friendzone to me.



Here's the thing though....it's rare,REALLY RARE to fall into the firendzone AFTER having a date with a girl.....UNLESS....well,the date didn't go so well. It's rare,but you seem to be making progress in doing it though.

Last but no least...
-She loves saying/doing things she knows i do not like. And she takes pride in it

Example:
me: dont talk to me about other guys. The only guy you can talk about and lust over is me
*after 5 minutes*
her: oh look at that basketball jock hes so hot!!!
me: what did i just say?
her: i know. i just wanna piss you off *smiles at me*

All that "saying stuff to piss you off" between you two seems like sibling rivalry. It sounds like a brother and sister meddling each other.





When I walk into a room at night,I don't have to wonder if the light switch is on or not. You seem to be confused by this girl. Well is sexuality there between you two?



All the things that normally go along with a man and a woman being interested in each other....


(sexual) flirting and teasing
YOU complimenting her
hugging,kissing,and making out
having sex
going out on dates
YOU (at least) trying to take her out or be sexual with her


Are any of these things present between you two? If not,if "sexuality" is "absent" between you and her,then what are you confused about?

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

When I walk into a room at night,I don't have to wonder if the light switch is on or not. You seem to be confused by this girl. Well is sexuality there between you two?



All the things that normally go along with a man and a woman being interested in each other....


(sexual) flirting and teasing
YOU complimenting her
hugging,kissing,and making out
having sex
going out on dates
YOU (at least) trying to take her out or be sexual with her


Are any of these things present bewteen you two? If not,if "sexuality" is "absent" between you and her,then what are you confused about?

That about sums it up right there.

If a guy's highlights of his interaction with a girl are: "We see each other everyday in class. She IMs or texts me first. She ignores me."

...I tend to get the impression that nothing sexual is going on. Unless he somehow forgot to mention, "She texts me first....AND we have hot sweaty monkey sex."

So as usual, I agree with IgetIt. This sounds like the typical guy pining over a woman who has zero interest in him. Princesimba claims to be "confused" but it seems fairly un-confusing to me.

 

[BadNews]

Shes stringing you along cause she likes the attention. Get rid of her.

 

[Voice]

Shes stringing you along cause she likes the attention. Get rid of her.

Bingo, that's all you needed to hear. Unless you somehow keep her around to benefit you in some way, start hanging out with her less.

 

[MainDroite]

Getting rid of the girl isn't always the best option, guys. The way I see it, if you really want to kill even the 0,99% percent of chance you have with a girl who doesn't want you, then do get rid of her. Nevermind the fact that girls DO change ideas sometimes. Not often, but I've seen it happen.

Now, also, if you genuinely like the girl, why should you ditch her? Because she doesn't want to have sex with you? Pardon me, but that's a bit immature.

Which reminds me of some thing I saw in a field report a while ago: the guy had went for the kiss on the first date and was immediately friend zoned. He answered "I can't be friends with you! I like you!". rofl

My point being... you know, man... just chill the fvck out and quit expecting anything from her.

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

Now, also, if you genuinely like the girl, why should you ditch her? Because she doesn't want to have sex with you? Pardon me, but that's a bit immature.

If he genuinely likes the girl and she doesn't want to have sex with him, why WOULDNT he ditch her? What's left to do? He likes her romantically. She doesn't.

My point being... you know, man... just chill the fvck out and quit expecting anything from her.

If I'm "just friends" with a girl, I can just chill out and quit expecting anything from her. If I've gone on a date (or multiple dates) with a girl, then YES I expect something. That's what grownups do. They date, and they expect progress within that dating.

Just because he's trying to date a girl and she wants to be "friends" doesn't mean that he's supposed to shift his thinking from sexuality and into friendship.

 

[princesimba]

This is the girl you got into an arguement with simply because she told you she wasn't impressed with the date you set up,right? And after she said that,she sent you a text telling you she actually liked the date,and even flirted with you. So you should have known she was only kidding.


Instead,you ended up arguing and fighting over this nonsense.

Dam, you remembered. Lol. Yes it is. But i subconciously let her know that i didnt really care whether she liked it or not, because 99,999 others were there before and they all liked it, and i was only mad because she spoiled my "perfect record". Of course that aint true, but thats the idea i "implanted" into her brain after reading some advices. A trick the movie Inception taught me

I guess i've been too negative in my description of this girl. We do flirt a lot, A LOT. More than anything we normally do, i just left out that part because its not one of the "problems" i see. I have only asked her out once because i see her in school everyday anyway, so whats the difference?

The problem is, she has been saying all these nasty things to me (me, your girl? No way) even BEFORE we went out, and since she has not treated me any differently at all before or after we went out, i was thinking if thats just the way she talks to me. Basically my question is: "Will girls say such things just to play hard to get?" I mean, what else could she reply? Me, your girl, err okay? LOL

 

[runner83]

Igetit gave good advice.

I don't see anything confusing in her actions. You are friendzone or worse without a doubt.

Either she will meet up with you when you arrange it and is into you when you physically escalate (in which case, she probably likes you, duh!);

or

She won't meet up with you, or won't let you physically escalate.

Stop over analysing the obvious and get yourself some other damn options. FAST!

 

[princesimba]

Igetit gave good advice.

I don't see anything confusing in her actions. You are friendzone or worse without a doubt.

Either she will meet up with you when you arrange it and is into you when you physically escalate (in which case, she probably likes you, duh!);

or

She won't meet up with you, or won't let you physically escalate.

Stop over analysing the obvious and get yourself some other damn options. FAST!

So you're saying, ask her out anyway, no need to think so much, eh?